


Philophobia

by Pisces314



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, I made Tim's parents assholes in this sorry, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jay is a grumpy teddy bear, M/M, Meet-Cute, Multi, Mutual Pining, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Therapy, Tim is a sarcastic little shit, Underage Drinking, capeless au, like unworldly amounts of fluff, to make up for all the heavy stuff that was mentioned, unintentional self-starvation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2018-10-13 08:06:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 46,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10509726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pisces314/pseuds/Pisces314
Summary: Tim stumbles forward, arms flailing out in an instinctual response to catch himself. Except he hits someone else before he hits the ground, hits someone hard. Tim watches in horror as Jason stumbles forward from his accidental shove, before spinning around to face him.“You want some too then, ya stupid fuck?!” Jason’s eyes are emerald flames as he stomps over to Tim.Tim raises his hands in what he hopes is a placating gesture. He realized too late that, in his nervousness, he’s clenched his hands into fists, so now it looks like he’s squaring off against Jason.  It excites the crowd even more. There’s a loud ‘Ooooooooh’ that fills the hallway around them. Tim has no idea where the other two boys went. He should stop worrying about them though because Jason is coming at him fast.“N-no wait! I didn’t mean-“ Jason’s fist slams into Tim’s jaw and Tim falls to the ground, passing out for the second time in less than week.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well I can’t seem to write any other pairing besides JayTim *shrugs* This time it was inspired by the movie Short Term 12 and the song Issues by Julia Michaels. It’ll be like: 25% angst, 25% humor and 200% jaytim fluff. Jason doesn’t show up until Chap 2 and they get off to a rough start so be patient with their love, I promise it’ll get there.
> 
> This story is going to deal with more heavy stuff, nothing too graphic but it definitely mentions things like child and substance abuse. I also realize that this isn’t how things would work in real life but please ignore my dumb social work and therapy logic for the sake of a hopefully halfway decent high school romance AU. 
> 
> I’m on chapter four currently and feel pretty good about it so far. The rating probably won’t get any higher than this, as I’d like to focus more on an emotional bond between them than a physical one. 
> 
> It’ll be around 10-15(closer to 15 probably) chapters, I’ll try to update weekly or biweekly on Fridays. I wrote a few chapters ahead before posting this so you shouldn’t have to wait longer than that for an update :)

Tim wakes up as he’s being loaded into an ambulance by paramedics. He’s strapped to a stretcher with an oxygen mask over his face, forcing him to take even breaths. He gets a brief glimpse of the crowd that has gathered outside the ambulance before the doors shut.

His parents’ most important friends are staring at him, a look of morbid curiosity on their face, similar to when one stares out the window while passing a car accident hoping to get a peek at the victim’s injuries. Some of them are even taking pictures. His parents are standing closest to the vehicle, his mom covering her face in embarrassment and his dad giving Tim a disapproving frown. Tim wishes he stayed unconscious.

 

An anxiety attack is what Dr. Quinzel tells them happened. It doesn’t go over well with his parents. His mom merely raises an unimpressed eyebrow. His father however…

“Are you saying that my son fainted in public and had to be carried out in an ambulance, that our insurance isn’t covering by the way, because he got too _stressed out_?” He demands. Dr. Quinzel doesn’t lose her professional smile.

“An anxiety attack is much more complicated than simply being over-stressed, otherwise it’d just be called a stress-attack.” She smiles at her own joke but it quickly falls when no one mirrors it. Tim feels kind of bad for her, he knows all too well how difficult his parents can be. He’d smile back if he could, but he still has the mask on and he’s trying to draw as little attention to himself as possible. He doesn’t want his parents to notice how bad his hands are still shaking.

“We did find something else too. It appears that, although the main cause for the fainting spell was his hyperventilating, another more concerning factor contributed in it as well.” She continues, her voice losing its warmth. “Your son is extremely malnourished. The tests show he isn’t getting enough vitamins or calories on a daily basis and, from how underweight he is, we can tell it’s been going on for awhile now.”

In the silence that follows her statement, Tim is incredibly glad to no longer be attached to the heart rate monitor, because he feels like it’s trying to beat its way out of his chest. He looks at his hands, shaking even worse now, accompanied by a cold sweat. He knew he had lost some weight, too busy focusing on things he deemed more important than going to get some food. Eventually his stomach did stop growling, which in turn made him forget to eat sometimes, but it was never his intention to be starving himself. He glances back up and finds three sets of eyes staring back at him. He swallows hard.

“I didn’t realize,” His mom says slowly, piercing eyes never leaving his face. _Oh, this is not good_. “That my _seventeen-year-old_ son, needed to be reminded to feed himself.” Quinzel gives a flat laugh in response, no real humor behind it.

“No Mrs. Drake,” She says. “Usually when someone, especially a minor, experiences malnutrition there is a more concerning cause behind it. Which is why the hospital’s on-call social worker is waiting for us to step out so he can speak to your son privately.”

Tim’s mom opens her mouth to argue but quickly closes it upon seeing the look Dr. Quinzel gets on her face. Tim doesn’t blame her, he would not like to be on the receiving end one of those half-crazed glares, it completely changed the Doctor’s naturally kind face.

“It’s just a precaution, trying to resist would only make things look worse for you.” She explains, leading his parents towards the door. His father shoots him a look on his way out, a warning not to make their family look any worse than he already has.

The social worker comes in after they have left and pulls up a seat next to Tim’s bed. Tim had been expecting a sharply dressed middle-aged person ready to threaten to take him away from his family, or even a kind elderly person, treating him like he was made of glass and giving him looks filled with pity. He wasn’t expecting the man sitting down next to him.

He’s young, maybe in his mid to late twenties, his black hair in desperate need of a haircut, and his white button up shirt complete with a coffee stain and a crooked tie. He has a clipboard in his hand, Tim assumes it’s a copy of his medical file, he can see the man has scribbled on the paper in bright red ink. He catches a glimpse of the word **Neglect** scrawled in messy handwriting next to a paragraph of the neater typed script before the clipboard is flipped face down on the man’s leg. Tim doesn’t mind, he’s not sure he wants to see what other notes the man made about him. He looks back up at the man’s face, his blue eyes have a gentle look to them, but it’s not the pity Tim was expecting. It’s more like concern, which is somewhat better, Tim guesses.

“So Timothy,” He begins but stops when Tim starts to cough. He had tried to open his mouth to speak but forgot about the mask and got a mouthful of too much air.

“It’s Tim.” He wheezes, yanking the mask off and throwing it to his feet irritation. The man waits until Tim catches his breath before replying.

“Alright, well I’ll call you Tim as long as you call me Dick.”

“Uh,” Tim frowns, but he’s pretty sure he heard that right.

“Because my real name is Richard!” Dick continues hurriedly. “And I hate being call that or Mr. Grayson.” Dick looks flustered by his poor word choice, he keeps fiddling with his tie. Tim has to bite his lip to keep from laughing at him.

“You couldn’t have picked something normal like Rick for a nickname?” Tim jokes but instantly regrets it. The last thing he needs is for Dick to tell his parents he has an attitude problem on top of everything else. He opens his mouth to apologize but stops at the sound of Dick’s laughter.

“You don’t pick your own nickname Timmy,” He teases easily, as if they’ve been friends for years now. Tim glares in silent disapproval of his new nickname. “It’s what my parents called me and by the time I was old enough to realize why some of the older kids giggled when they said it, it had already stuck. You should hear my little brother. He uses it as many times as he can in a sentence during family dinners. I think just to try and piss our dad off.”

“How old is he?”

“Eighteen, almost nineteen. He’s really mature.” Tim wants to laugh or make another smart comment in response, but he can’t get the thought of Dick’s notes on him off his mind.

“My parents don’t neglect me.” He blurts before he can stop himself. He can’t meet Dick’s eyes, instead staring down at the thin white hospital blanket draped over his legs. His hands aren’t shaking anymore, so that’s a plus.

“Okay.” Dick says simply and Tim looks back up at him then, surprised. Dick’s face has lost its easy smile and he’s now staring at Tim with a more serious expression on his face. Its calculating, like he’s trying to detect signs of dishonesty. Tim doesn’t like that very much.

“They don’t abuse me in any way. It was my own fault I forgot to eat and passed out.” He adds.

“And why do you think you forgot to eat? I know my stomach starts growling if I go more than a few hours without stuffing my face.” Dick tries to lighten the mood with a joke, probably wanting Tim to feel more comfortable talking to him. It doesn’t make Tim feel any better.

“I was just too busy worrying about other things.”

“What things?”

“A.P Physics homework, a research paper for my college English class I’m taking online, and making a good impression on my parent’s new business associate that was at the party. Which I’m guessing I failed pretty spectacularly at, considering I passed out mid-conversation with him.” Tim sighs.

“I’m sure he’ll be more than understanding of what happened.” Dick says and Tim wants to roll his eyes because that is not the type of person his parents hang out with. “Can you tell me what exactly you were thinking about right before you started having trouble breathing?”

 “Well I was talking to that guy at my parents’ charity gala, like I said, and I was trying to convince him to donate.” Tim says slowly. He doesn’t even remember hyperventilating.

“Why did you want him to donate so badly?”

“Because it was Bruce Wayne,” Tim explains and Dick raises his brows. He obviously knows the name of Gotham’s richest bachelor, he’s one of the medias favorite topics.

“Was Bru- Mr. Wayne giving you a hard time about donating to the charity?” Dick sounds appalled.   

“No, I just-“ Tim cuts himself off, because he was about it admit that feeling his mother and father both watching him talk with Mr. Wayne with sharp eyes, just waiting for him to make a mistake had been making his chest feel tighter and tighter with each passing second. It eventually became so tight, his lungs had stopped expanding for a proper inhale, forcing him to make tiny gasps in order to get air. He doesn’t think it would go over well if Dick knew about this.

“Why did your parents want you to talk to Mr. Wayne? If the donation was so important, why didn’t they speak to him themselves?”

“They said he had a soft spot for children.” Tim says shrugging. “He’s been known to spend a lot of his resources helping children in need.” Tim was still having a hard time believing that, from the picture the media painted of Bruce, he didn’t seem like the type to care about anyone other than himself.

“That was…smart of them.” Dick says and Tim nods. His parents are very good at manipulating people to get what they what. “Tell me Tim, how often do you feel anxiety, similar to what you were feeling when you were talking to Mr. Wayne?”

 _All the time._ “I don’t know, maybe once a week?” Dick doesn’t look like he believes the lie.

“Well I have solution, if you and your parents are interested, in order to help with the anxiety.”

“Are you going to put me on some medication that’s going to make everything all sunshine and rainbows?” Tim rolls his eyes.

“Nope,” Dick chirps unaffected by his mood. “That’s why I like working with Dr. Quinzel so much, she’s a big fan of more natural ways of healing. So, here’s what I’m thinking…”

 

The drive home is awkward to say the least. His father is driving, frowning at Gotham’s rush hour traffic, while his mother types away at her phone. They had easily agreed to Dick’s treatment plan, hoping cooperation would make them less likely to seem like terrible parents.

From now until the end of the school year, Tim would be meeting with Dick every Wednesday after school to talk about his feelings. On Mondays and Fridays from four to seven pm he would be spending his time at a therapy group for troubled youths, where he would learn different ways to deal with his anxiety. Dick had also suggested Tim not attend anymore of his parent’s parties, which his parents had readily agreed to. They didn’t want their son around to potentially embarrass them anymore.

Tim sighs, allowing his head to rest against the car window. It was only January.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First impressions don't always work out the way you want them to.
> 
> Chapter 3 will be out next Friday :)

Stephanie meets him in the school parking lot on Monday morning. She’s wearing her cheer uniform, even though the weather has to be in the low twenties this early in the day. The cold never seemed to bother her like it did Tim who, despite the many layers he wore today, couldn’t stop shivering.

 The school colors look good on her, the deep purple and grey set off the blue in her eyes and how blonde her hair is. They used to be purple and black, but after a meeting where concerned parents felt that the gothic theme of the school was causing depression in their children, the board decided to use grey instead. Because that was so much better.

She raises an impressed brow and gives a thumbs up to his new ride, a bright red Jaguar F-TYPE. It had been a present his parents had given him over the weekend before they left for a month long business trip to China. They didn’t want the concern of Dr. Quinzel or Dick to give him any ideas that his parents cared more about their money and popularity more than their son’s wellbeing. No, that would be preposterous.

As soon as he’s out of the car she loops her arm through his. Their hips bump periodically as they walk, but Tim doesn’t mind, they had always been close and the familiarity of it is comforting. She was his best friend, probably his only real friend.

Because of their close relationship, a rumor got around that they were dating. Neither of them denied it, it kept money hungry girls off Tim’s back and sex hungry boys off Steph’s. Plus it had the benefit of no one questioning their sexualities. They both discovered after one hilariously awkward kiss their sophomore year that they weren’t a fan of the opposite sex.

 “How are you holding up?” She asks as they stop by their adjacent lockers. Tim is surprised she was able to hold back her concern this long. He had called her as soon as he got home Saturday night, letting her know what had happened. He felt guilty, because even though she has as busy of a schedule as he does, she spent her weekend trying to find ways to help him feel better.

He didn’t have the heart to tell her it had been in vein. That the pressure on his chest didn’t ease until his parents were boarding their plane and he knew he had a break from their judgmental stares and passive aggressive comments. He doesn’t tell her that the pressure had started to come back this morning, as he thought about his group therapy session scheduled for this afternoon.

“I’m fine. I mean I’m not too excited about having to give up my responsibilities as student class president to that Alvin Draper kid, he’s been gunning for the title all year, but Dick said to try and get rid of any unnecessary stressors in my life.” He shuts his locker, waiting for Stephanie to finish up in hers.

“I still can’t get over that. _‘Call me Dick._ ’” She mimics, laughing as they head down the school’s hallway. “Who says that?”

“Dicks do.” Tim answers with a small chuckle at Stephanie’s delighted snort. He walks her to her first class, his being a little further away.

“I’ll see you at lunch.” She promises, planting a light kiss on his cheek before she leaves him. He heads toward his class at a steady stride, not looking anywhere except directly in front of him. His fellow students ignore him and he ignores them, a typical morning.

He found out early on that most kids, especially private school kids, only cared about what your last name was. And, since the Drakes were widely known as one of Gotham’s wealthiest families, people often wanted to get on his good side to reap whatever benefits they thought would come from being his friend. After they discovered Tim wasn’t as gullible as he looked, they left him alone for the most part.

He turns a corner and abruptly comes to a halt. There’s a crowd of students blocking the hallway, all of them craning their necks to get a better look at the commotion going on in the center of it all. He hears a loud curse and something- or someone- hitting the ground hard. The audience cheers.

 _‘A fight,’_ Tim thinks, shaking his head _. ‘It must have just happened too, the teachers haven’t got here yet.’_

He makes his way toward the crowd cautiously. He tries to skim through the edge, just wanting to make it to class on time. But somehow, while trying to weave his way between students, he ends up in the front of the crowd, with a perfect view of the fight.

He’s not surprised to see Grant and Alex in the middle of it, the popular jock bullies that every school has to have, but he is surprised to see who they are standing against. Even though his back is facing him, Tim can recognize that brown leather jacket anywhere.

At first glance, Jason Todd looks like he’d be Gotham Academy’s resident bad boy. His typical attire includes a rock band t-shirt, worn jeans, combat boots and that leather jacket that smells heavily of cigarette smoke. He’s also huge, clearly a fan of frequent workouts and easily the tallest senior in their class.

When he first transferred here at the beginning of the year, students-Tim included-were a bit wary of him. There were at least fifty stories about where he came from since none of them recognized the last name Todd, they knew he didn’t come from Gotham’s elite families. Tim stopped listening after hearing the third one, the one where Jason was the son of one of Gotham’s crime lords, which was just ridiculous. Besides, Tim quickly came to find out that Jason’s looks and personality contradicted each other.

Jason was quiet. He never spoke unless called on in class and his answers were hard to hear because he would mumble. He was never absent or late to class, and was always one of the first ones to finish with their classwork, sometimes even beating Tim. So seeing him in the middle of a fight was surprising.

Tim stays in one spot too long and an over-eager student, probably wanting a better view, shoulder bumps Tim as she rushes past him. And, the thing is, Tim is not a very graceful individual. He’s always tripping over his own feet and that’s just when he’s walking on his own. So, when someone like this kid pushes him purposefully or not, Tim is doomed to go down like the titanic.

Tim stumbles forward, arms flailing out in an instinctual response to catch himself. Except he hits someone else before he hits the ground, hits someone hard. Tim watches in horror as Jason stumbles forward from his accidental shove, before spinning around to face him.

“You want some too then, ya stupid fuck?!” Jason’s eyes are emerald flames as he stomps over to Tim.

Tim raises his hands in what he hopes is a placating gesture. He realized too late that, in his nervousness, he’s clenched his hands into fists, so now it looks like he’s squaring off against Jason.  It excites the crowd even more. There’s a loud _‘Ooooooooh’_ that fills the hallway around them. Tim has no idea where the other two boys went. He should stop worrying about them though because Jason is coming at him fast.

“N-no wait! I didn’t mean-“ Jason’s fist slams into Tim’s jaw and Tim falls to the ground, passing out for the second time in less than week.

 

This time when Tim wakes up he’s all alone and his jaw aches. He brings his hand up to his face, flinching with a hiss of pain when his presses too hard against the bruise that has already formed. The back of his head hurts, he probably hit it when he landed out on ground. He’s glad he doesn’t remember that.

He thinks about how angry Jason looked when he came after him and wonders what started the fight. He bets that Grant and Alex were the instigators. They always liked to push people, even teachers to see how much they could get away with. They initially stayed away from Jason, Tim assumes because he didn’t look like the push over type. They must have got cocky when Jason spent the first half of the school completely docile. Tim wonders what they could have done to push him over the edge.

 And now Tim has somehow got himself on Jason’s bad side. He can only imagine what people are already saying about him. Experiencing public humiliation twice in the past three days, that has to be a new record for him. Maybe his parents will let him enroll in an online school if he upsells it enough. He’s sure there’s some pretty credible programs out there.

There’s a sharp rap on the door before it swings open wide, Tim tries not to show his displeasure as the principal himself shuffles through. Tim never could stand Mr. Cobblepot and went out of his way to avoid interactions with him.

His looks and his personality were equally as lovely, which is to say, not at all. He was a short plump man with no hair, greasy skin, and always smelled like old tuna. He played favorites with the students, the richer families they came from the nicer he was. He’s tried more than once be Tim’s friend, not being subtle in the slightest when he would drop hints that he wanted an invitation to his parents next social gathering.

Tim did extend an invitation for him just once. It was another charity gala (his parents host them often, it makes them seem like good people) with a donation requirement of five thousand dollars just to attend. Mr. Cobblepot looked like he swallowed his tongue whole before claiming he was going to have a family emergency that day. He was the textbook definition of sleazy.

“Timothy,” He drawls, doing a poor job of imitating a worried face. “I heard about your altercation with that Todd boy, I hope you’re alright. The school is very concerned about its students’ safety.” More like concerned with getting sued for not providing a safe environment for the said students.

“I’m fine. Where’s nurse Thompkins?”

“Oh, she has to attend to young Grant, poor boy might have a broken nose.” Cobblepot’s voice is laced with sympathy for the kid with a lawyer for a daddy. It gives Tim an idea.

“He deserved it though.”

“He did? I mean yes, of course he did.”

“Grant and Alex are always picking fights. I’m sure Jason was just standing up for himself.” Tim explains. Cobblepot nods understandingly.

“Did you call my parents?” Tim asks.

“Not yet,” Cobblepot says. “I wanted to wait until you woke up, to make sure you were alright.” He reaches out to pat Tim’s knee but Tim shifts, drawing his legs up close to his chest to avoid the contact.

“Do we have to call them?” He sighs heavily. Cobblepot wrings his hands together nervously.

“Well, they should be made aware of the incident…” He trails off unsure.

“I wouldn’t call it an incident.” Tim rolls his eyes. “It was just boys being boys, too much testosterone in one small area and all that. Are you sure you want to bother them for something like this? I doubt they’d be happy, they’re on a very important business trip.” Tim subtly crosses his fingers while Cobblepot hesitates.

“If you’re sure it’s not a problem,” Cobblepot glances down at the swelling on Tim’s cheek. Tim forces himself to give his most charming smile, ignoring the sharp stab of pain it causes him.

“Not at all.” He says dismissively. “Anyway, what time is it? I should be getting back to class.” Cobblepot thankfully accepts the subject change.

“It’s just past two,” He says checking his watch. “You can go ahead and leave, no point staying around for your last class, especially with grades as good as yours.” Tim isn’t about to argue, he gathers his things and nearly runs out the building in his excitement to get away from the principle.

He’s glad have successfully avoided a day of school but finds himself wishing he had stayed unconscious just a few more hours so he could have skipped his first counselling session. At least he has some time to kill beforehand. There’s a new coffee place he’s been wanting to try.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one guys! I know Barbara does a lot of talking in this but I promise everything she says is pretty important to the plot later on(HINT HINT HINT), and there are a bunch of side characters introduced, but that was pretty necessary too. I hope I still managed make it interesting to read for you though :)
> 
> Also Jason is going to seem pretty harsh here. Don't worry, it was intended and will be explained in Chapter Four(which will be out next Friday!), when Jason and Tim will finally have a civilized conversation.
> 
> I should also say that I hope this chapter doesn't offend anyone taking medication for depression or anxiety. Just because Barbara says she prefers other methods to help with her depression doesn't mean it's wrong with taking them.

Tim sits in his car, listening to music and sipping his second cup of coffee while he kills time. The Troubled Youths program is held in a small building attached to Gotham’s foster care facility.  Dick had told him that the therapy group was originally intended to help the foster kids that stayed there. It did so well that they opened the program up to other at risk teens throughout Gotham.

Tim can easily spot the large Wayne Enterprise logo on the door of the main building. It’s a shame the media chooses to focus on Mr. Wayne’s rumored hook-ups instead of the actual good he does. His parents never do anything that doesn’t immediately benefit them.

He’s about to open his door to head into the building when movement out of the corner of his eye catches his attention. He looks over to see three people walking toward the building entrance he’s parked directly in front of. The movement he saw had to have been from the first two. A tall, athletic girl with long cherry colored hair is giving a piggy-back ride to another boy with orange hair and red baseball cap.

The girl rolls her eyes with a smile and breaks into a jog, causing the boy to throw both hands in the air like he’s on a roller coaster. They are both laughing but Tim can hear a third laugh mixing with theirs, it’s louder than the others, and slightly deeper. Tim looks further down the sidewalk, jaw dropping when he finds the source of the voice.

Jason Todd stands on the sidewalk not even three parking spaces away from Tim. He’s laughing hard, arms wrapped around his stomach and head thrown back. He has tears rolling from squinted eyes down his red face and his mouth is wide open showing all his teeth. He’s looks so different, younger, this way. Tim’s heartbeat thuds loudly in his ears.

Jason eventually gets a hold of himself and starts making his way to his friends who are now waiting for him by the door. Tim watches, frozen, as each step brings him closer to passing by Tim’s car.

‘ _Please don’t look over here. Please don’t see me.’_ He chants in his head as Jason walks directly in front of his car. Jason stops, leaning down to retie his shoes. Tim huffs out a breath, clenching his fists in frustration.

His car alarm blares, causing Tim to jump, dropping the keys he held in his hand. He must have pressed the panic button by accident.

“Oh shitshitshit!” He curses as he reaches for them, fingers scrambling and dropping them twice in his haste before he can finally shut it off. He lets out a slow shaky breath, filled with a mixture of embarrassment and dread as he looks back out his front windshield. Jason and his friends are staring right back at him. Tim desperately wishes he had tinted windows.

He can see the moment Jason recognizes him because his eyes widen before he shakes his head in disbelief.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Tim can’t hear him well from inside the car but he can read his lips well enough to make out what he said. Jason walks toward him, ripping his car door open and pulling Tim out of the car, shoving Tim up against its side.

 He’s standing so close, fists wrapped in Tim’s hoodie and one leg in between Tim’s to hold him in place. Jason’s eyes, filled with that fire Tim is getting _very_ acquainted with, take up Tim’s whole vision. He can feel Jason’s hot breath ghosting his cheeks.

“Please don’t hit me again!” Tim squeaks, this time making sure his hands are open when he raises them in surrender.

“ _Again?”_ The girl is suddenly in between them, tugging Tim toward her by his arm. Tim’s surprised when Jason lets him go.

“Yeah, seriously man what the hell? It was just a car alarm, I thought you were over that shit.” The other boy is standing at Jason’s side, eyes filled with worry despite his harsh words. Jason scoffs, looking at Tim in disgust. It causes a queasy feeling in his stomach.

“I _am_ over that shit. This is one of the kids from that fight earlier, where those two upper classmen were being assholes about one of the freshmen girls not wanting to go on a date with them. This punk jumped in and tried to attack me while I wasn’t looking.” The girl's hand tightens painfully on his arm before Tim pushes it off, stepping away from all of them. That tight feeling in his chest is coming back full force.

“That is not what happened.” He snaps.

“Oh yeah,” Jason crosses his arms in front of his chest, standing at full height so Tim has to crane his neck to continue to make eye contact with him. “Then please, enlighten me on what was going through your head when you shoved me.”

“I didn’t shove you. Someone pushed me and I…tripped into you.” Tim trails off lamely.

“Bullshit.” Jason says but there’s a slight hesitance in his voice. “And what, did you come here to get therapy because someone put you in your place for once?”

“Jason,“ The girl scolds.

“No Kori, you know what I’m talking about. These rich kids always come in here thinking they need professional help over the slightest inconvenience in their lives because they’re so spoiled that can’t handle when anything that doesn’t go their way.” Tim slides his hands in his pockets to hide that they’ve started shaking again. He turns and tries not to run into the building. He does not need to hear this.

“Bet you didn’t even know there was a waitlist. You know, for the kids who actually need to be here but have to wait because their mommies and daddies can’t afford to buy their way in!” Jason calls after him. Tim’s at the door but whips back around toward them at Jason’s words.

“Well I don’t even have to ask why you’re here then. I’m sure those little temper tantrums you like to throw have gotten you into trouble before.” Tim walks through the door before Jason can reply, but not before he hears Jason’s cold laughter behind him. It’s a very different sound than the laughter he'd heard before.

Thankfully, he makes it to the room without meeting anyone else. Because of the whole Jason Fiasco Part Two, it’s only a few minutes until four and it looks like everyone else beat him here.

He immediately feels uncomfortable as all the other kids turn to stare at him. Their ages vary wildly, some look to be no older than twelve while others look closer to Tim’s age. There’s about twelve of them, sitting in chairs formed in a half-circle in the middle of the room. A woman with auburn hair and glasses sits in a wheel chair in front of them. She must be in charge of this group.

The only chair that’s left is the one directly in front of him, with its back facing towards the door. Tim quickly makes his way over to it, hoping once he sits down everyone will stop staring at him. He sits between a boy with dyed green hair who can’t seem to stop fidgeting, and a pale goth girl who seems to think black is the only color acceptable to wear. Tim catches a glimpse of a jagged red scar running vertically up her wrist before he forces himself to look away. Jason and his friends haven’t come in, maybe anger issues weren’t something the woman in glasses specialized in.

The woman checks her watch when it gives off a small beep and then clears her throat to get everyone’s attention. The kids who had been talking quietly amongst themselves fall silent immediately. Tim doesn’t blame them, even sitting down, the woman is holding herself in such a way that makes it clear she isn’t to be messed with.

“My name is Dr. Barbara Gordon, or Dr. B, as some of my previous students liked to call me. I’m going to be your head counselor for the duration of this group. I just wanted to start off by saying how pleased I am that you guys showed up today. I know for a lot of people it’s hard to accept when you need help to overcome a personal issue.” She pauses when a girl to her left laughs bitterly and mutters something under her breath.

“Is there a problem?” Dr. B asks her. The girl juts her jaw out defiantly and flicks her white blonde hair out of her face. There’s a unanimous gasp from around the room as it reveals a long, jagged scar going down forehead and cheek, right through the middle of her eye.

“When it’s either this or going back to the hell that is Gotham’s juvenile detention center, it’s not like we have much choice.”

 _‘Oh great,’_ Tim thinks. _‘I’ve been put into a group of baby criminals. That’s totally chill. No questions or concerns here. Thanks for the heads up, Dick.’_ The woman doesn’t seem surprised by the girls attitude, in fact she has a slightly amused look on her face, as if she were waiting for someone to speak up and they didn’t disappoint her.

“And you must be Miss Wilson. I’ve read your file. I believe you lost your chance for a third option when you chose to shoplift and got caught for the fourth time in two years. If you are unsatisfied with your decision to be here then I’ll be happy to speak with your judge to see about setting up some accommodations back in the detention hall for you.” Tim was right in his assumption that Dr. B was a no nonsense type of lady. When Wilson doesn’t talk back again, she turns to address the rest of the group.

“That outburst leads into what I was about to address next. Whether you feel like you were forced into this or not, none of you are here without reason. But I cannot help you if you aren’t willing to try. So If you aren’t going to take this seriously then please leave so we can give the open spot to someone who wants to better themselves.” She pauses surveying the room.

Tim debates leaving for a moment. His chair is closest to the door, only a few steps away and he could make it out of the building. But then what? Word gets back around to his parents that he bailed on class and he doesn’t even want to think about the looks they’d give him. When no one moves the woman smiles at them all, like they’ve made her proud.

“Brilliant, now that that’s out of the way I’ll tell you how this is going to work. I started this program when I just an intern here three years ago. I was experiencing depression and not too enthused about having to take medication to treat it. I didn’t want to have to take a pill every day for the rest of my life just to feel normal.” She runs her left hand along the metal edge of one of the wheels as she talks. “I started researching more natural ways to cope with how I was feeling. And, while it took a bit to get the hang of things, eventually I felt better than when I was taking the medication.”

“After I received my licensure, a close friend informed me of how high the suicide rates were of teens in foster care facilities. So I came here to do what I could to lower that rate by helping you guys discover your own healing methods. Any questions so far?” The boy beside Tim shoots his hand up before she even finishes the question. Dr. Gordon doesn’t seem to mind.

“Yes Mr.-?” She asks.

“It’s Garfield ma’am.” He says eagerly. “What made you so depressed? If you don’t mind me asking.” Dr. B is surprisingly the only one unaffected by the intrusive question. The other kids are shooting Garfield varying looks of shock and disbelief.

“Idiot.” The girl on the other side of Tim mutters. He has to agree. Dr. Gordon must hear the girl too because she gives a short laugh before shaking her head.

“It’s alright, these are the types of questions you guys will have to answer too, so it’s only fair I tell you some things about myself. But, keep in mind that you don’t have to answer any questions that make you uncomfortable. I won’t push you when you aren’t ready. I’m sure you all have noticed my main form of transportation.” She says, gesturing towards her chair.

“I wasn’t always like this. Until around ten years ago, I had full use of my legs. I had just graduated from the police academy and was just starting out as a rookie police officer. Within my first week, there was a huge raid that went down in Gotham, a drug bust, and they needed every available officer to be a part of it. You all were pretty young but I’m sure some of you remember hearing about it on the news, right?” She asks. Tim frowns, trying to think. It seems the other kids are doing that as well. He was only seven then but he can remember hearing his parents talk about something to do with the drug cartel in Gotham for weeks around then.

“The Joker.” He says suddenly and instantly regrets speaking when all eyes in the room turn toward him. He forces himself to look only in Dr. B’s eyes. “Ten years ago was when the Joker was finally caught and put behind bars. They said an inside source finally gave away his hideout and the following raid caused a fight that lasted two days between the police force and the Joker’s henchmen.” Shocked whispers break out among his peers at his words. The Joker was one of the most notorious drug lords in the world. It was a relief to everyone when he was put behind bars.

He had been ruthless and unpredictable, killing anyone who got in the way of his rise to power over Gotham’s crime. He sold his drugs to anyone who would buy them, including kids. Gotham had one of the highest overdose counts in the country when he was in control of the drug trade.

 No one ever saw his true face either, because when he made appearances, he always had his hair dyed and face painted to look similar to a clown. Tim remembers his parents discussing who might have been brave-or stupid- enough to go against someone like him. The name was never made public knowledge.

“You were shot during the raid then?” A small freckled boy with ginger hair asks. He looks to be the youngest kid in the room, he’s so short that his legs swing back and forth a few inches off the ground from his seat.

“Yes,” Dr. Gordon says, her eyes taking on a steely look. “Gotham lost too many good police officers that day and I lost my legs. It was a hardship in my life that I had to overcome and I want to use my experience to help the rest of you to take on your own obstacles in life.” She then reaches around into the backpack hanging off her chair handles.

“Now that I’ve told you all a little bit about myself, we’re going to go around the room so you all can introduce yourselves and tell us something you like and something you dislike.” She grins, a bit evilly in Tim’s opinion, when there’s a unanimous groan from the other kids.

Tim doesn’t join in, because he has manners, but he definitely agrees with them. He avoids speaking in front of people at all costs. Usually he can even charm teachers into excusing him from presentations with one of his “Drake Smiles” as Stephanie likes to call them. He doubts it’ll work on Dr. Gordon though.

Dr. Gordon picks the kid to her right to start off with, which means Tim will have some time to prepare and mentally rehearse what he has to say before it’s his turn. Tim doesn’t pay too much attention to their answers, other than a few who stand out. One boy, Jaime he says his name is, says he likes to collect bugs which makes a few of the girls give him disgusted looks. But Bart, who apparently doesn’t have any dislikes, runs across the center of the circle to give him a high five.

 Colin, the ginger who asked Dr. B about getting shot, says he loves animals and dislikes when adults are mean. Tim feels a rush of protectiveness watching Colin fidget nervously as he speaks. What adult could ever be mean to him?  He catches a flash of anger in Dr. B’s eyes before she blinks and its gone.

Then it’s Garfield’s turn and Tim definitely doesn’t hear what he says because he’s too busy trying to get his chest to stop feeling like there’s a cement block weighing it down.

  _‘It’ll take two seconds and then it’ll be over. Everyone else did it, you can do it too.’_ He tells himself.

 He takes a deep breath and looks around the room when it’s his turn, years of practice allow him to easily slip into his Drake persona that he uses at parties. He’s been told it’s charming, so hopefully it’ll seem that way today.

“My name is Tim Drake. I probably like coffee the most and what I dislike is…” He trails off. He forgot what he was going to say even though he said it in his head so many times before. He can feel the itch of multiple, _too many_ , pairs of eyes on him. His fingers tremble against his legs. He blurts the first thing that pops into his head, desperate to get this over with. “What I dislike is speaking in front of a group of people.”

There’s a beat of silence after his answer before laughter breaks out among the other kids. Tim closes his eyes, maybe he can just run out and explain to his parents that this really wasn’t the type of treatment he needed. He opens them again when he feels an elbow in his stomach.

“Dude,” Garfield says, still chuckling slightly. “That was hilarious.” Tim stares down at Garfield’s extended fist for a second before raises his own to bump it, shocked. They weren’t laughing at him, they thought he was making a joke.

Tim risks a glance up at Dr. B, worried about how she’ll react to his unintentional humor, it was pretty disrespectful after all. But she doesn’t seem angry at all, she just gives him a small smile and rolls her eyes when they meet his. He smiles back, relieved.

The girl beside him, Raven, continues once everyone has calmed down. She claims to like reading and dislike loud obnoxious people, throwing a pointed glare at Garfield, he sticks his tongue out in response.

“That was really good you guys,” Dr. B says after everyone has gone. “Now, as I said before, you are all here for your own unique reasons and you are going to have your own unique coping methods. And, as you can see, you all outnumber me by far. So, in order to ensure you all will have plenty of guidance I’m going to enlist the help of a couple volunteers from my very first group of kids I helped.” She then looks past them towards to door behind Tim. “You all can come in now.” She calls.

Tim turns with the rest of the class to see who is coming in and meets Jason’s smug gaze.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will unfortunately be the last of the weekly updates because of life and other projects I’m working on. Instead it’ll be updated every other Friday, which isn’t too long of a wait, right? :) Anyway I’m super excited to post this because Jason and Tim finally have an actual conversation! 
> 
> **Warning: This chapter might be triggering to some, there is an anxiety attack and also talk of suicide and illegal drug use. I know I've tagged all of this but just in case I wanted to put that out there. Also if that stuff is triggering to you, there will be more mentions of those kinds of things later in this story, as well as off screen abuse so please read with caution. None of it will be too graphic though.

Jason’s laughing at him, not out loud, but Tim can see the amusement twinkling in his eyes as he stands beside Dr. B. His friends, Roy and Kori, are standing with him. Tim fights the flush rising on his cheeks in vain as he tries to listen to what Dr. B is saying.

“Each session, we’ll all meet as a big group to talk about our goals for the day and discuss how things are going with your personal progress. Then we’ll split off into four smaller groups to complete the activity of the day with your peer counselors.”

“Don’t worry,” She adds at the varying looks of disbelief from around the room. “They’ve all completed a counselling training session from me and, most importantly, they’ve been where you are and can understand what you’re going through.” She looks down at the clipboard in her lap.

“I’ve split you all into groups of three with myself, Roy, Jason, or Kori as the group activity leader. You are grouped with kids who are dealing with similar issues as yourself. It’ll allow you to have a closer support system in each other.”

 _‘Oh God,’_ Tim thinks as she starts calling off names _, ‘Please put me with anyone but Jason.’_

“Holly, Terra, and Rose will be with me. Roy will take Jaime, Garfield, and Donna. Kori, you’ll be in charge of Cassandra, Raven, and Colin.” Tim shuts his eyes, grimacing as she calls out the names of the last group. “Tim, Conner, and Bart you’ll all go with Jason.” 

 _This is hell._ Tim thinks as he follows Jason and the other boys when everyone splits into their own smaller groups. Jason leads them to a separate corner that has giant pillows in a small circle in place of chairs.

“Boho chic,” Bart says, plopping down on one. “I like it.” Conner rolls his eyes and sits down as well, leaving Tim and Jason the only two still standing.

“Well they aren’t made of Egyptian cotton but I hope you’ll be able to make due for the time being.” Jason says brushing past him. Tim sighs taking the seat in between Conner and Bart, the furthest he could get from Jason. Which isn’t actually very far since they are seated right across from each other in a very small circle.

“Alright kiddos,” Jason says reclining back with his hands crossed behind his head. “You’ve already introduced yourselves so we know each other, now we’re gonna talk about the why.”

“Dr. B said we were sorted into groups with the same… _issues_ as us.” Conner says eyes flickering over to Tim, who is trying to make himself seem as small as possible in his chair and Bart, who is drumming his hands on his knees to what Tim thinks is the beat of _Livin’ On A Prayer_. “I doubt that.”

“She said similar issues, not the exact same. No one has been through the same shit you have.” Jason corrects. “And don’t say issues like it’s such a bad thing. The first step to recovery is understanding that there is nothing wrong with having a problem.”

“I thought the first step was admitting that there was a problem.” Tim regrets speaking when Jason looks at him like he’s the scum of the earth. His whole torso feels tight, like he’s being suffocated, which is just ridiculous since all he’s doing is sitting on a beanie chair, having a stare off with Jason.

“If we were in Alcoholics Anonymous, sure. But this is a group of kids, who probably have known for a while now that there’s something abnormal going on in their heads, because teenagers are pretty self-aware like that.” Jason’s eyes flicker down as he picks at a hole in his jeans.

“And I’m sure their parents have been real fucking helpful too.” He gives a harsh laugh. “They probably were in denial at first, thinking it was just a bit of teen rebellion. Then when it got bad, they blamed everyone but themselves, ignoring it until they absolutely couldn’t anymore and brought you here so they wouldn’t have to deal with you themselves. Sound familiar?”

Conner crosses his arms and glares at a random corner of the room, likely knowing Jason was right but not wanting to be pegged so easily. Tim understands, it’s slightly disturbing how on the dot Jason is. He thinks of how disappointed his parents were in him for having an anxiety attack, something he knows he didn’t have any control of, and how readily they agreed to put him in this program without even asking how he felt about it.

“So, we’re gonna go around and talk a little about why we’re here. Because a big part of recovery is having a strong support system and who better to talk to about it than people who know what you’re going through. Anyone want to start?”

 _This is **definitely** not helping._ Tim thinks as he watches Bart eagerly raise his hand. Unless they are trying to drain the anxiety out of him by putting him in a constant state of it.

“I have ADHD,” Bart says eagerly. “I’ve gotten in trouble for class for not paying attention and even though the teachers know about it, they don’t seem to understand. My uncle Barry thought that this might help.”

“My dad thinks I have anger issues just because I don’t let the other kids at school push me around.” Conner scoffs. “Sheriff’s son or not, if you mess with me I’ll mess with you.” Tim watches the Conner’s bicep flex as he shifts in his seat and doesn’t know who in their right mind would try to mess with him.

Tim feels nausea swirl nastily in his stomach when it’s his turn to speak. His mother’s words flash through his mind: _‘Too stressed out.’_ Bart and Conner were here because of real issues, how would they feel when he admitted he had anxiety? How would Jason, who clearly hates his guts, react? He inhales and holds it in, his chest too tight to exhale without it sounding shaky.

“I’m not really comfortable…” He trails off biting his lip.

He doesn’t risk looking at Conner and Bart’s reaction, watches Jason’s instead. He had thought Jason would give him another hateful glare for not participating or even a sarcastic comment, but he’s just watching Tim, a puzzled expression on his face.

 Jason opens his mouth like he’s about to say something and then closes it abruptly, looking down towards Tim’s lap and frowning. Tim glances down at himself, wondering what Jason could be looking at.

“Dude, why are your hands shaking?” Bart asks just as Tim notices it. His hands are quivering against his thighs as a result of the internal earthquake happening in his body. The breath he had been holding flies past his lips and his lungs start trying to suck it back, inhaling multiple times in a row without an exhale.

“Tim, hey look at me, it’s okay you don’t have to talk about it.” Jason reaches toward him gently placing a hand on Tim’s knee.

“ _Don’t_ -“ Tim wheezes and Jason flinches away as if he’d been burned. Tim makes the mistake of looking past Jason’s shocked face and finds everyone in the room looking at him. Dr. B is quickly making her way towards them, concern painted on her face.

Tim bolts, sprinting past the group of staring teens and out of the room. He hears the heavy thump of footsteps behind him and doesn’t stop, exiting the building and past the parking lot into the empty lot beside it. It’s not long before his pursuer is calling after him.

“Can we please stop running? I think I’m going to die.” Jason gasps. Tim stops, but only because his legs are on fire and he’s pretty sure the spots in his vision mean he’s about to go unconscious.

“Don’t punch me,” Tim warns rubbing his side where there’s a sharp stabbing pain. Jason glares up at him from where he’s hunched over, hands on his knees.

“I’m not going to punch you! God, that was one time and you _deserved it_.” Tim rolls his eyes, too out of breath to try and explain himself. “Sit down and put your head between your knees, if you pass out on me it’s going to make me look bad.” Jason commands.

Tim listens, only because he doesn’t want to imagine what his father would say if he had to pay for another ambulance ride. He drops down on the cold ground and focuses on his breathing, watching the cloud his breath makes in the chilly air.

“Fuck man, are you in track or something?” Jason coughs nastily. “I really need to stop smoking.” Tim ignores him. He concentrates on taking slow breaths, in through his nose and out through his mouth, a technique Dr. Quinzel had taught him that day in the hospital.

After Jason stops trying to hack out his lungs, he makes his way over to where Tim is sitting and plops down beside him. Tim notices he sits about half a foot away from him, giving him plenty of space. He doesn’t know how long they sit like that, the only sounds are his own unsteady breaths and Jason’s feet tapping an unknown rhythm into the ground.

When he feels somewhat normal he raises his head looking over to Jason, jolting when he catches Jason already watching him. His cheeks are red from the winter air, it adds a strange intensity to his teal eyes.

“Uh hey,” Tim says lamely, breaking eye contact. His chest still feels tight, but not in a painful way like before.

“You feelin’ alright?”

“Yeah, sorry.” Embarrassment is free to flood through him now that his body isn’t trying to suffocate him anymore. That’s three public humiliations in one week, he’s moved on from personal records and setting world records now.

“ _I’m_ sorry.” Tim frowns over at Jason. Maybe the lack of oxygen his making him hallucinate because there is no way Jason just apologized to him. Jason does look appropriately guilty for someone that’s apologizing but Tim can’t understand why. He answers Tim’s question before he has a chance to voice it.

“I shouldn’t have criticized you for being here. There are a lot of rich kids whose parents send them here, even though there is nothing wrong with them, other than being too spoiled, as an excuse for their bad behavior.” Jason scoffs, kicking up some dirt in front of him before he continues.   

“And we have limited spots each class so if an asshole kid takes a spot, then we have less space open for teens who are one little push away from slitting their wrists or trying heroine to deal with it all.” He trails off, squinting down at his lap. Tim swallows hard past a lump in his throat. “I thought you were one of them, but you definitely need to be here as much as the rest of them. So, sorry I was tremendous douche. It wasn’t very professional of me.”

Tim doesn’t know what to do with that. He searches his brain for a response better than the automatic “It’s okay” that wants to slip past his lips, because the moment feels more important than that. But, he’s also fighting the insane urge to giggle because Jason just sincerely called himself a _tremendous douche._

“Well you’re not a professional.” Tim points out. Jason laughs, a startled sound, shaking his head. He stands up and brushes himself off before extending a hand out to Tim.

“Do I have to go back?” Tim asks as Jason pulls him to his feet.

“Don’t worry,” Jason says as he runs his hand along Tim’s back, brushing off any dirt that might have got on him. “We’re a troubled youth group. Freak outs are kind of the norm for us.” Tim is still reluctant as he follows Jason back towards the building.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Jason asks, stopping them before they can go through the door. Tim nods, feeling a pit form in his stomach. It’s never a good sign when someone has to ask permission to ask a question.

“You really weren’t trying to fight me today?” _Oh, it’s just about that._ Tim sighs in relief.

“I wasn’t. Some girl wanted a better look and shoved me when she was trying to get around me.” Jason raises an eyebrow at him.

“You raised your tiny little fists at me though.” He teases.

“I panicked!” Tim says, flushing when Jason just laughs.

“You’re something else, Little Bit.” He says, delighted. Tim crosses his arms over his chest, glaring at Jason.

“My something else probably saved you from suspension which, you’re welcome, by the way.” Jason abruptly stops laughing.

“That was you?” _Oops_. “I was wondering if Cobblepot had multiple personality disorder from the way he laid into me one minute and then the next just let me off the hook. Why’d you do that anyways? I mean, I had just knocked you clean out.” Tim shrugs, rocking back and forth on his heels.

“Grant and Alex are jerks and you’re not, well not as much as they are.” He adds at Jason’s incredulous stare. “It seemed unfair that they wouldn’t get in trouble while you did.”

Jason seems to be satisfied with that answer but not before he gives Tim a puzzled frown, as if he’s not quite sure what to make of Tim yet. He opens the door and gestures for Tim to go through first. Tim enters, relieved when he looks around the find no one pays him any attention. Bart and Conner, who had joined Kori’s group in Jason’s absence, meet Jason and Tim back at their beanie chairs once they see them headed that way.

“You okay?” Conner asks, reaching a hand out as if to touch Tim’s arm but then lowering it last second. Tim is grateful. His head still feels a little wired from those few moments of not breathing properly and he doesn’t think being touched is something that’ll help him calm down.

“I didn’t mean to draw attention to the shaking or anything.” Bart says softly.

“No, it wasn’t your fault. I had been freaking out all day about coming here and I guess it all just got to me. Plus, Jason is kind of scary.” Tim jokes throwing a smile at him. Jason just rolls his eyes, reclining back in his chair like Tim’s little episode never happened.

 

Tim lays in bed that night, listening as his phone vibrates on his nightstand, smiling. Jason had made them all exchange numbers, with the promise of texting each other in a group chat at least once a day. He said they could talk about anything, as long as they all promised to let him or the group know when their headspace was getting too intense. He also assured them they could call him anytime and that if he couldn’t answer he’d call them back as soon as possible.

Bart had texted the group not even an hour after their session ended, a photo of what he had gotten for dinner and that somehow turned into an argument between him and Conner over whether Xbox One or PS4 was the better gaming system. Jason had added his own opinion, stating that the Wii was the best because of all the Nintendo games, to which Tim replied that he had never played any games, other than the ones he could download on his phone.

That left the other three boys to immediately start making plans to convince Dr. B to let them play video games during one of their sessions, because apparently Tim’s lack of knowledge with video games was blasphemous.

Tim finally turns his phone on silent fifteen minutes later, ignoring twenty unread messages so he could fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of your comments so far have been so wonderful to read! You guys are so kind and I smile when I read every one of them, so thank you! As a writer who has zip self-confidence in her work, it’s really helped :D


	5. Chapter 5

Thankfully, everyone seems to forget about the fight or, at least forget Tim’s involvement in it, because he is ignored as usual and is more than okay with that. He doesn’t have any classes with Jason but, based on the glimpses he catches of him in the hallways, he seems undisturbed as well.

His luck runs out at the end of the school day on Wednesday, when he’s putting his stuff in his locker and getting ready to leave.

“Heard you tried to fight Todd and then blamed the whole thing on Grant and Alex,” Tim sighs as he shuts his locker, looking over at Scott, a proud member of the Stereotypical High School Bully Group.

“That sounds about right,” Tim says, shouldering his backpack and turning to leave. He’s fully expecting the hand that comes to grab his shoulder and forcibly turn him around so he thankfully doesn’t stumble.

“Listen you-” Scott stops, eyeing something behind Tim before scoffing and turning, stomping his way down the hallway.

“Well that was anticlimactic,” Tim hears Stephanie’s voice say from behind him. Grinning he turns toward her and opens his mouth to reply but stops when he sees who she’s standing with.

Stephanie is in her usual cheerleader form, this time with a baseball bat in one hand and her other one placed on her hip. Standing next to her is Jason Todd himself, almost a head taller than her with his arms crossed over his chest. No wonder Scott left so quick.

“Are you okay, Tim?” Jason asks, something in his tone making Tim’s whole torso feel warm.

“Yeah, I think he was just going to ask for fighting tips. I clearly impressed some people with my skills the other day.”

“You sure impressed me,” Jason says giving him a little smirk. Tim catches Stephanie giving a smirk of her own as her eyes flicker back and forth between him and Jason. He’s not sure he wants to know what’s going on in her head right now.

“Hey Steph,” He says, feeling guilty for ignoring her. She doesn’t seem too upset though.

“Hello Tim,” She purrs, grin not falling from her face. Jason gives her a confused frown, probably wondering about her sanity, something Tim himself wonders about quite frequently.

“So, umm, Stephanie this is Jason, Jason this is Stephanie.” He gestures between the two of them awkwardly.

“Todd.”

“Brown.” The two nod at each other. Tim holds in another sigh, this was somehow more uncomfortable than his short interaction with Scott.

“Why do you have a bat?” Jason asks suddenly.

“Why wouldn’t I have a bat?” Stephanie replies rolling her eyes at Jason. The look Jason gives Tim is clearly him asking ‘What the fuck?’ Tim shrugs because he’s learned a long time ago not to question her.

“Anyway, I have cheer practice like right now,” She prances over to Tim and gives him a kiss on the cheek as usual. “Text me later?” She doesn’t wait for him to reply before she leaves the two of them alone in the hallway.

“Your girlfriend is scary,” Jason says, watching her leave.

“Oh, she’s not my girlfriend.” Tim says quickly, not wanting Jason to have the wrong idea.

“Really?” Jason asks surprised, “I heard a rumor you two were an item.”

“Yeah, and I heard you were some crime lord’s son. It’s high school Jason, you can’t believe everything you hear.” Tim jokes but is taken aback by the dark look that comes over Jason’s face, it reminds him of the way he looked during the fight on Monday.

“People can come up with some crazy stories, huh?” Tim says shifting uncomfortably. Jason blinks and the dark look vanishes.

“Right. Well I’m supposed to be somewhere so see you around Tim,” He gives Tim a small smile that doesn’t reach his eyes before walking away, leaving Tim staring after him.

 

He has some time after school before he has to head to Dick’s office and he wants to make sure he eats before they meet. He can’t have his stomach growling while he tries to reassure Dick how much better he’s doing.

When he pulls into his driveway, there’s already another vehicle there waiting for him. It makes him uneasy, he doesn’t recognize the car and his parents had told all of their business associates that they were out of town until sometime in February. He parks beside the car but can’t see past the tinted windows to see if anyone is in it. Chances are if they’ve been here long their housekeeper, Amelia, has already let them inside.

However, he’s only taken a few steps toward his house when he hears the stranger’s car door open and someone is hoping out of the front seat. He immediately recognizes Dick’s messy hair and chipper voice as he speaks into the phone in his right hand.

“Okay listen Dami, I have to go.” He’s saying, “But remember, you have to ask before you adopt another pet. Alfred was not very pleased with the last stray you brought home.” Tim raises an eyebrow and Dick smiles apologetically as he says his goodbyes to whoever “Dami” is.

“Sorry,” Dick says when he finally hangs up the phone. “My little brother is attempting to transform our home into a zoo. Him and my eighteen-year-old brother have recently decided to gang up on me to get this new dog they found at the shelter over the weekend.” Dick sighs tiredly, but the look in his eyes is fond. How many siblings did this guy have?

“You still live at home?” Tim asks but then wants to slap himself. What happened to the manners his parents taught him? Dick thankfully doesn’t seem bothered by his question.

“Yeah, until I find a decent place around here anyways. I was in Bludhaven for a while but I moved back in to be closer to work and my girlfriend. Plus, our dad was completely hopeless at dealing with the other brats without me.” He winks at Tim, or tries to. Both eyes end up closing in an overexaggerated blink towards Tim.

“Oh that’s, uh, cool.” Is all Tim can think to say to that. “Are you driving me to your office or…” He trails off, eyeing their cars doubtfully. It doesn’t seem logical but it’s the only reason he can think of for Dick to be waiting for him in his driveway.

“Nope, we’re actually doing an in-home visit today!”

“A what?” Tim asks, feeling a pit of dread form in his stomach.

“It’s part of my job to come check out your living situation,” Dick explains, voice taking a softer tone as he notices Tim’s confusion. “It was in the packet I sent home with you and your parents at the hospital.”

“Oh.” Tim has no doubt that the packet was thrown away before his parents even took a look at it. Amelia opens the door before Tim has a chance to reach for his keys, she likely had known Dick was here the whole time and was just standing by waiting.

Amelia was an older, plump woman who had been working for his family since before he was born. She was his nanny when he was younger, and had been the one to teach him how to walk, talk, read, and write. Now, she mostly took care of things around the house. She was a strict woman and Tim was never sure whether she liked him or not. He did notice extra food on his plate during meals since his trip to the hospital though, something he’s positive wasn’t an instruction from his parents.

Dick doesn’t seem surprised at all to find her there, waiting to take their coats once they step inside. Most people that visit seem awkward around their maid. It took Tim an embarrassingly long time to realize that it was because most people didn’t have one. He finds himself jealous of Dick’s relaxed attitude with everything. If Tim could be like that he wouldn’t be in this mess right now.

“Are your parents home?” Dick asks suddenly, looking around as if they’d be hiding somewhere.

“They’re at work.” Tim answers. It’s not a lie exactly, but Amelia flashes him a disapproving look.

“Mr. and Mrs. Drake aren’t expected to be back until much later.” She explains. Dick frowns, suddenly looking uncomfortable. “We could call them and inform them of your presence here if it would make you feel more comfortable.”

“Yes, that would be great if you could!” He says, smiling gratefully at Amelia. Tim sighs, pulling out his phone. This will be fun. 

His mother answers after the six ring. She sounds groggy, and Tim has no doubt he woke her up.

“Tim, why are you calling me? You realize being in a different county means I’m not in the same time zone as you, right?” Her tone is like ice shards in his ears as she speaks to him like he’s ignorant.

“Yes, but I just wanted to let you know that Dick’s here for an in-home visit.”

“Who’s Dick?”

“He’s the uh, social worker. From last weekend?” Dick seems very interested in the paintings decorating their foyer. Tim has no doubt he’s listening intently to their conversation. There’s a short pause before his mom speaks again.

“Put Amelia on the phone.” Tim all but thrusts the phone at Amelia in his gratefulness to not be talking to his mom anymore. Amelia places the phone to her ear.

“Yes Ma’am.” Pause. “Yes.” Pause. “I’m sure that won’t be an issue.” Pause. “I will.” Pause. “Of course, Ma’am.” She ends the call and hands Tim back his phone.

“Mrs. Drake doesn’t see a problem with continuing the visit the same as you would if they were here. As long as I supervise of course.” She informs them.

“Great!” Dick says, clapping his hands together. “Well, we usually start out with a tour if you wouldn’t mind.” Amelia nods and begins the tour as if she’s done so a thousand times.

Tim follows them around, letting Amelia and Dick do most of the talking. He’s nervous but can’t place why. Their house is large, clearly the home of a wealthy family, and Amelia keeps it spotless. He’s not sure what it is exactly Dick is looking for, but he’s sure the house will meet his standards. Right?

Dick looks around Tim’s room for a long time, a peculiar expression on his face. Tim glances around his room, trying to find the source for his expression. His room is a decent size, furnished with a bed, two end tables, and desk, and a dresser. It’s spotless, no clutter and bed perfectly made because of Tim and Amelia’s combined efforts, with white walls and a grey carpet. He throws one last glance at Tim’s blank walls before he allows Amelia to continue the tour.

They finish up the tour in the kitchen, where Amelia heats them up some leftover pasta and gives them a moment of privacy.

“I’ll be right outside the door.” She says throwing a stern look at Dick before she leaves. Tim digs in to his food, determined to finish it all since Dick is here. Dick copies him, letting out an appreciative moan at the taste.

“So Tim, tell me about some of your interests and hobbies.” Dicks says between bites. Tim chews slowly, buying time. What were his interests and hobbies? He thinks of the last thing he did in his free time.

“I like to read.” He says shrugging.

“Okay, good. What kinds of books?”

“I read Fahrenheit 451 last.” He had to read it for class but Dick doesn’t need to know that. Dick, is thankfully satisfied with that answer and proceeds to ask him more questions. He shows an interest when Tim mentions Stephanie after Dick had asked about his friends.

“You’re both seniors, right? Do you think you’ll keep in touch after you graduate?”

“We promised we would,” Tim shrugs. He’s only halfway done with his plate but he’s already feeling nauseously full.

“You don’t sound like you believe that.” Dick’s eyes flicker down to where Tim is just scraping his food around his plate but he doesn’t say anything.

“Well I applied for Harvard and she has a cheer scholarship to UK. We’ll be hours away from each other and probably busy all time.” His voice sounds nonchalant, not giving away that he’s been a mess all year over the thought of being that far away from the only person who he feels like he can be himself around.

“Sure,” Dick says easily. “You don’t have to talk everyday to keep in touch though. Sometimes you can not talk to someone for months and still be considered close friends.” Tim nods, taking a sip of water in order to avoid having to say anything. The silence between them feels thick and makes his gulp of water sound extra loud. He finds himself flushing at the sound.

“Why Harvard?” Dick asks, pushing his plate away from him. Tim notices he stopped eating at the same time he did and hopes that’s just a coincidence.

“It’s the best.” When Dick gives him a little frown he continues quickly. “You know, it’s Harvard. Get a degree from there and you can do anything.” He tries not to think about how much he sounds like his father when he says that.

“Tim that’s not…Do you know how many people don’t go to Harvard and live completely happy lives?”

“I’m aware,” Tim says flatly not liking the look Dick is giving him. “It’s just, my parents met there. So it’s important…to all of us.”

“Okay sorry,” Dick laughs breezily. “I’m just a Gotham U boy at heart.” Tim clenches his jaw, not liking how unsettled this conversation makes him feel.

“Stephanie seems like a good friend, I’m sure you guys will keep in touch.” Dick says after Tim doesn’t respond. He merely nods in agreement. All this talking is starting to wear him out and he wishes Dick would leave already.

“Dr. Gordon told me there was an incident during your first meeting with her. Do you want to talk about it?” _Incident_. Tim feels his face get hot.

“I wasn’t aware you guys communicated that often.” He snaps.

“We keep in touch whenever we have a mutual case. It helps us do our job.” He says, fiddling with his tie.

“Oh. Well it wasn’t that big of a deal.” Tim mutters. “I’m fine now. Jason, my peer counselor, helped.”

Dicks perks up. “He did?” He asks smiling.

“Yeah, I mean he’s kind of unorthodox but I can see why Dr. B chose him to help out.” Dick just laughs and thankfully stops pressuring Tim with questions.

Tim turns to Amelia after they watch Dick pull out of the driveway.

“You were pretty cooperative with him. Letting him come in and even convincing my mom to let him stay.” He says.

“I was.” She confirms.

“Why?”

“He and I have similar interests regarding you.” She says before leaving him in their foyer, running her words over and over in his mind, trying to figure out what they could possibly mean.

 

On Friday, Jason walks into the room five minutes late accompanied by what has to be the world’s largest dog. It’s easily half of Jason’s size, nearly dragging him in its excitement to get to all the new people. Its barking is booming, causing Tim to flinch the first time he hears it, even though it’s a happy sound and its tail is making a loud thumping sound, no doubt causing bruises to the backs of Jason’s thighs.

“Her name is Ava.” Jason says excitedly, not at all put out by the numerous disbelieving stares thrown his way. “She’s going to be our new therapy dog.”

“Jason,” Dr. B says patiently. “Remember how we talked about you coming to me before you decide to make a change to the program?” Ava doesn’t seem perturbed by the tense conversation going on around her. She lays down at Jason’s feet, slobber dripping from her mouth and tail beating against the ground, checking out her new surroundings.

 “I know, Barb- I mean Dr. B, but she’s certified and everything.” Garfield and Colin have already rushed over to the dog, petting her as she shows them her stomach.

“She’s a St. Bernard!” Garfield claims excitedly. “And she’s a baby, can’t be older than a year old.”

“How do you know all this?” Raven asks cautiously approaching the dog.

“My dad was a vet.” Garfield’s smile drops and he lets his hand fall away from Ava into his lap. Raven picks up on his mood change easily, kneeling down beside Garfield and placing a hand on Ava’s head.

“Tell me more about her,” Raven murmurs, nudging him with her shoulder. Garfield perks up, immediately launching into a lecture about the history of St. Bernards and where they originated from as the rest of their group slowly form a circle around Ava.

Bart shifts excitedly from where he’s standing between Tim and Conner. Their group was one of the few who hadn’t approached Ava yet. Jaime, who is walking past pauses when he sees them hanging back.

“Do you guys want to go see her?” He asks, gaze flickering between the three of them. Tim eyes the crowd surrounding Ava, she has her tongue out, mouth stretched open in a smile, thoroughly enjoying all of the attention. He feels his skin prickle just at the thought of being in the middle of all that.

He’s already shaking his head when Conner grunts out a flat, “No thanks.” Tim feels a pang of guilt when Bart kind of slumps at their answers, chewing his thumb nail without looking away from Ava. He’s about to say tell them he changed his mind when Jaime just shrugs and looks directly at Bart.

“And what’s your excuse, then?” He asks. Bart looks startled for some reason at having the question directed at him.

“Oh I don’t uh…have one?” He trails off uncertainly, looking to Tim for help. Tim just mirrors his puzzled look, not sure what Bart wants him to do.

“Well okay then, come on.” Jaime says, boldly reaching in the middle of their group to grab Bart’s hand, ignoring the squeak he makes as Jaime drags him over to join the group around Ava.

That leaves Tim and Conner standing separate from everyone else in silence. Normally the silence would feel awkward, but around Conner it’s comfortable, natural. Like Conner understands the conversation isn’t something that should be forced. It makes some of tension ease in Tim’s shoulders.

He watches as Jason backs away from the crowd and heads toward Dr. B. Kori and Roy follow him, standing on either side of him as he approaches her. Jason looks nervous, which is not an expression Tim ever expected to be on his face, though Dr. B is giving him a very unamused look.

Tim can’t hear what they are saying but he notices how Kori has a hand on Jason’s lower back and Roy is pressing his hip up against Jason’s as he talks to Dr. B, both silently supporting him. Jason eventually pulls out a crumpled paper from his back pocket, trying and failing to smooth it out before he hands it over.

“I don’t like that Jaime kid.” Conner blurts, drawing Tim’s attention away from Jason. Tim follows Conner’s gaze to where Bart has made it to the front of the crowd surrounding Ava and laughing as Ava licks his face, covering him in a disgusting amount of slobber. Jaime is next to them laughing along as he watches Bart.

“Why?” Tim ask, frowning. Jaime seems pretty nice to him.

“He’ seems like trouble.”

“Kon, we’re a ‘Troubled Youth Group’. We’re all trouble.” Tim laughs but quickly cuts it off when Conner doesn’t laugh along.

“Yeah, but he’s part of Roy’s group. It’s not the same as our group or even Kori’s. Though probably not as bad as the doctors group.” Tim blinks because…what?

“I’m not following your logic.” Conner gives a heavy sigh, like Tim is the one not making any sense.

“Dr. Gordon put us into groups of people who had similar issues right? Ours is personality based with my anger issues, your anxiety, Bart’s ADHD, Jason’s...I don’t know, knack for speaking before he thinks.” Tim snorts but Conner continues like he didn’t hear him.

“Kori’s group are kids that have suffered abuse, Dr. B’s all have been in juvie, and Roy’s kids, Jaime included, are all recovering drug addicts. You can literally see the scars on some of their arms. And Bart’s impressionable, who knows what kind of shit Jaime will get him into?” Tim thinks a moment before he replies because that’s a lot to take in. He had never really thought about it before but it did kind of make sense in a way.

“They are recovering, meaning they aren’t currently addicted. They probably even had to test to start the program. Jaime seems nice but if he does try anything, Bart can take care of himself and if he doesn’t, I’m sure all you need to do is flex in order to get Jaime to back off.” Conner gives him a small smile and seems to relax.

“Hey,” Tim says suddenly. “How’d you know all of that about everyone?” He doesn’t remember hearing the other groups talk about why they were in the program.

Conner opens his mouth to reply but suddenly Jason is standing in between them, one arm over each of their shoulders. Tim tries not to be too obvious as he takes in the scent of leather and smoke, something he never imagined himself liking.

“Did you convince Dr. Gordon to let her be the therapy dog?” Conner asks, moving out from under Jason’s arm.

“Yup,” Jason says proudly, tightening his arm around Tim like he was going to move away as well. “I can only bring her in every once in awhile though. She’s fuckin’ adorable isn’t she?”

“You cuss a lot for some who is supposed to be in a role model type of position.” Conner says instead of answering. Jason just laughs.

“Yeah, well I’m not a professional.” He says throwing a wink at Tim. Tim blushes, heart stuttering as he thinks about how natural the action looks coming from Jason, it looked much better than Dick’s attempted wink the other day. He finds himself grinning stupidly as Jason walks away from his to join the group surrounding his dog. He barely hears Conner’s muttered, “That makes no sense.”

When Ava notices Jason approaching the group, her excitement levels increase and she runs over to him, jumping on him. Jason staggers under her weight but remains standing, wrapping his arms around her waist as she places her paws on his shoulder so it looks like they are hugging. Tim acts without thinking, pulling his phone out and taking a picture of the moment.

“What? She’s cute.” He shrugs when he catches Conner looking at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Ava is based on a dog from an animal shelter I volunteer at, I just loved her so much I had to put her in here <3 Anyway hopefully the length of the chapter makes up for the longer wait! I promise once things calm down I'll update more frequently. Plus I have to finish the fics I'm working on for JayTim week as well ;)  
> Thank you guys again for reading and commenting, they have made me smile so much you guys have no idea.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lian was supposed to be in the chapter, along with some of Roy’s backstory but it was getting too long so I’ll find somewhere else to fit that part. Maybe in the next chapter? Also I don’t think I explained this but, while Tim, Stephanie, and Jason go to a private school, most of the kids in their group go to Gotham’s public schools. That’s why they don’t show up in the school scenes and why Tim didn’t know any of them before the group. Anyway, I really like this chapter, it’s kind of an emotional roller-coaster so be prepared.

_‘It looks like cupid threw up all over the place.’_ Tim squints as he looks at the painful amount of red and pink decorating his school halls. He wonders if Valentines Day is as big of a deal in other cities as it is in Gotham. Even though Gotham was usually full of some type of steampunk gloom, when it came to holidays, it went all out. 

Tim dodges around the morning rush of students as he makes his way to his locker, coughing heavily into his elbow whenever he takes too deep of a breath. The nice cold he woke up with this morning would probably be the only Valentine he got this year. He had been fighting the cough all week but lost the fight last night after he pulled an all nighter to help Bart with his Chemistry test. The kid was smart but he was much more interested in showing Tim cat memes than paying attention to formulas.

After he shuts his locker he leans his forehead against it, hoping to get a thirty second nap before getting back to the daily challenge of his life. His thirty seconds are halfway up before he hears the locker open beside his.

“Alright lover, tell me I look hot.”

“You look hot.” Tim croaks, keeping his eyes closed. He hears Stephanie sigh and whines when she flicks him in the ear.

“Let me wallow, I think I’ve contracted a deadly virus and am about the be the first victim of the zombie- _Holy crap Steph_ , you look hot!” Tim had opened his eyes while he was speaking and took in her new outfit. She had ditched her usual cheerleading uniform and high pony for loose curls falling over her shoulder, a violet sweater-dress, black leggings, and grey heeled boots.

“Thanks,” She says, flipping her hair confidently but Tim hear the relief in her voice. “That girl I met at cheer camp over the summer finally asked me out. Which you would have known about if you had answered my texts last night.” She waves her hand when Tim open his mouth to apologize. “I know, I know. You have Anxiety Anonymous on Mondays now. How’s that going anyway? It’s almost been a month now hasn’t it?”

Tim blinks. He hadn’t realized it had been that long already but his fun little hospital trip was about a month ago today.

“It’s been good actually. Dr. B is having us read this book that helps you discover what therapy techniques work best for us, and that’s actually been pretty interesting. And then Roy, Kori, and Jason had us doing yoga, which I had no idea was so tiring.” 

“Bet you liked that, hmm?” Stephanie purrs. Tim flushes at her leer, hoping his cheeks were already red from his cold.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Tim sniffs. And okay, maybe he did fake having trouble with a couple positions so Jason would have to come over and help him, but she didn’t need to know that.

“I’m talking about a certain giant that you look at like you’d like to- Oh hey Jason!” Tim blanches, whipping around to look behind him. Jason is nowhere in sight.

“I hate you!” He calls after Stephanie’s retreating form. She just laughs in response.

After school, he sits in his car practicing some of the breathing exercises Dr. B went over with them before he feels like he can go inside. He thinks maybe meditation has been the most helpful out of the techniques they discussed in with dealing with his anxiety. It had certainly helped him through his power point presentation earlier.

 It still made him stressed out but it wasn’t unbearable like it used to be. His hands hadn’t even started shaking as he was speaking in front of his class. He had to remember to text his progress to the group chat later this evening.

His parents returned from their trip over the weekend, which means the house is filled with its usual awkwardness. It’s not their interactions that make it awkward, it’s the lack of them. Tim knew from a young age that his family didn’t act like normal families did behind closed doors. While in front of other people, his parents were all smiles and they fully expected Tim to act his part in their loving family. But, in the security of their own house, their interactions were limited to breakfast and dinner time.

His father spent most of his time working in his home office, and his mother was usually out shopping with her friends or planning another fundraising party. Tim, when he couldn’t make his escape over to Stephanie’s, would stay in the sanctuary of his room, studying religiously or playing crossword on his phone.

Doing the breathing exercise was something he started trying to do around his parents. He hadn’t wanted to, but last week Jason had finally got him to admit that they were the main cause of his anxiety, or more importantly, his need for them to accept him. So he decided to try to calm himself before he saw his parents, hoping it would help him handle how uncomfortable they made him.

 After he had managed to admit it, and fight off the anxiety attack that had been building during the conversation, Jason had ruffled his hair and said he was proud of him. Then Bart had ran up and hugged him so hard Tim’s feet had lifted off the ground, and Conner had even giving him a smile. It eased something inside his chest, having people who understood what he was going through and wouldn’t judge him when he admitted to being weak.

Dinner was ready at exactly five-thirty in the evening, as always. Tim stumbled into the kitchen with a yawn. He had fallen asleep at his laptop in the middle of writing a research paper for his English class.

“I’m not feeling too well.” He shrugged at his father’s raised brow.

Tim is halfway through his chicken noodle soup, that he’s pretty sure Amelia made for him after she noticed his cold this morning, when he notices the lack of conversation around him. Usually his parents are attempting to make conversation, asking him about his grades or at the very least talking about the weather.

He cautiously raises his gaze from his bowl to glance around the table. His parents haven’t even begun eating yet, instead they are looking at an envelope sitting upside down in the middle of the table, next to the centerpiece. His next swallow is noisy in the quiet room, why does he always swallow _so loud_?

“What’s this?” He says, pointing with his spoon at the paper.

“Read it.” His mother says dismissively. Tim’s gaze flicker back and forth between his parents nervously, they give nothing away.

He reaches for the envelope, noticing that the seal was already been opened. His parents already know what’s inside. When he flips the envelope over there’s a slight tremble in his hand. So much for the breathing techniques.

As soon as he sees the Harvard logo on the front he rushes to reach the paper inside, getting frustrated with it doesn’t slip free easily. His hands have proceeded from a slight tremble to a full on shake by now as he unfolds the paper. He blinks rapidly as his eyes try to process the miniscule words in front of him.

 **We’re sorry to inform you that** \- Tim doesn’t bother to read the rest, he can guess the gist of it. He closes his eyes tightly and concentrates on his breathing. Inhale….exhale…Inhale…When he opens his eyes his parents are both watching him.

“You read this already?” He asks them hoarsely. He keeps his eyes on his father, but can feel the steady pressure of his mother’s gaze to his left.

“You didn’t get in.” His father confirms, leaning forward on his elbows and resting his chin on his clasped hands. “We need to discuss why.”

“Probably because their acceptance rate is less than six percent,” He mutters. It’s something he had told himself when he first applied but he had still been hopeful.

“Your father and I had no trouble getting in. I told you we should have had him intern at your office last summer, Jack.” His mother insists.

“And I told you his schedule wouldn’t allow it because of the Chinese tutor you hired that could only come in the middle of the day, Janet.” His father says sending a cold look her way. Tim wipes his sweaty palms off on his pants.

“Jack, _honey,_ he was the best of the best. We were lucky we even were able to hire him, he usually works with celebrities. How else do you think Timothy became semi-fluent in just three months?” The tutor actually hadn’t helped him much, besides giving him book of translations and a list of sentences to write. He had spent most of their time chatting on his phone, leaving Tim to use google translate to figure out how to pronounce the majority of the words.

His parents continue arguing back and forth, playing the blame game for their imperfect son. Tim decides to try and sneak his way out before the blame turns to him.

“Are you trying to tell me that learning a different language, that he’ll have translators on hand for regardless, is more important than- _Sit down Timothy Jackson._ ” His father doesn’t yell, doesn’t need to, but Tim still flinches and drops back down in his seat.

“Finish your food. We can’t have you passing out on us again, especially when your meeting with that nosy social worker is tomorrow. And stop breathing through your mouth, it’s disturbing.” His mother’s voice is sharp.

Tim tries, he really does, but he has to fight back a gag when he puts the spoonful in his mouth and when he swallows he feels like there is a rock trapped in his throat.

“I don’t think I can finish this.” He mumbles, not looking up from the table. His mother sighs loudly, scoffing his name, like it’s a curse.

“You’re finishing your meal before you leave this table.” His father says no room for argument. “You need to have gained weight in your next checkup with Dr. Quinzel. Although I’m not sure why Amelia thought soup would be a good choice for that.” He says it loudly, clearly intending for her to hear his words. Tim hopes she isn’t close buy.

He eyes sting as he shovels the rest of his food in his mouth, ignoring his mother’s disgusted noise as he swallows past the nausea building in his stomach. Once his bowl is empty he tosses it in the sink and leaves the kitchen as quickly as possible, sprinting up the stairs to his room.

He nearly runs into Amelia in his hurry, who was standing at the top of the stairs. He catches the expression in her gaze and knows she must have heard some of their conversation. He nods at her and moves around her, without speaking.

“Mr. Timothy,” She calls from behind him just as he’s about to enter his room. He turns back around to her reluctantly, just wanting to get away from everyone.

“You’re aware that your late grandfather on your mother’s side was the Dean of Harvard? And that your father’s mother gave them an impressive donation toward their research facility conveniently around the date of your father’s high school graduation?” Tim just frowns at her, squinting at the light from the chandelier behind her. Had it always been so bright?

“All I’m trying to say is that, with schools like Harvard, sometimes the decision to approve or deny a candidate doesn’t actually have much to do with the candidate at all. It shouldn’t affect the way you, or anyone, values you.” She states, looking at him sternly over her glasses.

Tim opens his mouth to say thank you but no sound comes out, so he ends up just mouthing the words at her. She doesn’t seem to have trouble understanding him, nodding briskly before continuing down the stairs.

Tim stands in his doorway for a moment, trying to get a proper breath and swallowing back the saliva that keeps building in his mouth, before turning abruptly and sprinting into the bathroom. He manages to close and lock the door before falling to his knees and emptying his stomach into the toilet.

After he’s finished, he flushes the toilet and grabs the sink to pull himself up. The glimpse he catches of himself in the mirror isn’t pleasant. His eyes are bloodshot and a little wild, his face is an odd combination of stark white with bright red patches on his cheeks, and his mouth is doing that twitchy frown thing that happens when people are trying not to cry.

He looks away quickly, turning on the water and scrubbing his face clean before his legs start feeling shaky and he’s forced back down on the ground. He leans against the tub, arms wrapped around his knees and tries to _stop freaking the fuck out all the time_.

He grits his teeth in frustration when he can’t seem to calm himself. He needs a distraction, he needs…Stephanie. He grabs his phone out of his pocket but hesitates when he’s about to call her. She had said she was on a date tonight earlier and had seemed so excited, he didn’t want to interrupt it.

He uses this thumb to scroll through his meager list of contacts. Bart and Conner were not an option, Bart would probably just freak out and Conner would be incredibly awkward when trying to comfort him, both would end up stressing him out even more. Dick was out of the question, he couldn’t give him anymore ammunition against him. His thumb hesitates over Jason’s name…Jason had said to contact him anytime right? Without letting himself overthink it, he presses dial.

The phone rings six times before Jason answers, sounding breathless.

“Get out Titus, Ava needs her beauty sleep! Go back to bothering the baby brat, I’m sure he’ll give you treats.” He hears Jason grunt as if he’s pushing something heavy and then a door slamming shut. “Shit, sorry. Hello?”

Tim tries to speak but all that comes out is a weak squeaking noise.

“Tim? Are you there?” Tim is able to make an affirmative noise, hoping Jason can understand him.

“Can you talk?” Tim shakes his head even though he knows Jason can’t see him and rests his head on his knees.

“Alright that’s fine. Can you let me know if you’re safe?”

“Mhm,” Tim curls up as tight as possible, wishing he thought to turn off the bathroom light.

“Okay, good. Umm…” The silence between them is horribly awkward. He knows he’s making Jason uncomfortable, not that he blames him, Tim doesn’t know what to do with himself either. He’s about to hang up when Jason starts speaking again.

“Oh! So, I have a funny story I was going to tell you during group on Friday but I’ll just tell you now.” Jason says excitedly, already chuckling under his breath.

“The day after we brought home Ava, my little brother who’s like ten, decides he wants to be the first one to take her on a walk around our property, let her get used to the smells and whatnot right? Well, the thing is, the little turd already has his own dog and Ava is _my dog_. I mean you’ve seen how much she loves me. But, apparently, I don’t hold the leash properly so he literally yanks it out of my grip. And, then Timmy the most wonderful thing happened… _she saw a squirrel_.” Jason sounds almost giddy, Tim’s lips twitch in response at the giggle Jason lets loose.

“You should’ve seen it! She went flying and he just, _heh_ , wouldn’t let go. She dragged him at least five feet and through a mud puddle before it was all over with. Fuck, it was priceless.” Jason laughs so hard he snorts. An answering bubble of laughter makes its way past Tim’s lips and it causes all the tension in his body to simultaneously release. He sighs, still grinning, as he stretches his legs out in front of him, waiting for Jason to catch his breath.

“Is your little brother okay?” Tim asks, revealing in the way he can actually breath again.

“Oh yeah, the only thing hurt was his pride, but that needed knocked down a peg or two anyway.” Tim purses his lips to try and get himself to stop grinning, it’s starting to make his cheeks hurt.

“You wanna talk about what happened now?” Jason asks after a few seconds of silence. Tim sighs, he doesn’t really, just being reminded of it made him tired, but he supposes Jason deserves to know.

“I read my rejection letter from Harvard at dinner in front of my parents, they were assholes about it, and I threw up my soup.”  Tim waits nervously for Jason’s response, saying it out loud had made him feel like he was being over dramatic. He hopes Jason doesn’t feel the same.

“Well first of all, fuck Harvard,” Jason says with feeling. “They don’t know what they just missed out on. Hell, you would have raised their overall GPA and test scores I just know it.” Tim feels his eyes water again, this time for an entirely different reason.

“And secondly, screw your lousy parents and their unrealistic expectations.” Jason scoffs, causing Tim to let out a surprised giggle. “No seriously, Harvard? C’mon. Fuck. They’re idiots and they should be grateful they have a son as amazing as you, no matter where you end up going to school.” _Amazing as you._ Tim leans his head against the bathroom wall, giving up on fighting the smile that’s going to leave his face sore tomorrow.

“I feel better now.” Tim says softly after Jason seems done with his rant.

“You better. I mean it though, Tim. Anyone who thinks you’re less than perfect is an idiot. You’re the smartest kid I know, almost smarter than me even.” Tim rolls his eyes, knowing Jason can probably feel him doing it through the phone.

“You are too. Amazing I mean,” Tim clarifies, feeling shy all of a sudden. “I’m really glad I met you.” Jason doesn’t respond for long enough that Tim thinks maybe the call was disconnected but, just as Tim is about to check, Jason speaks up.

“I’m glad too.” Jason’s voice is mumbled, similar to how he talks in school, before he clears his throat and picks up his volume a little. “As for the whole barfing situation, I probably wouldn’t eat a big meal tonight. But do not skip breakfast tomorrow or there will be consequences. And on Friday I’ll bring you the greasiest burger and fries from Five Guys.”

“And a strawberry milkshake?”

“And a milkshake.” Jason confirms.

“Thank you, Jason.”

“Anytime, Little Bit.”

 

Tim makes a quick stop at the store to buy a picture frame before he heads to his therapy group on Friday. He had wanted to do something for Jason as a thank you for helping him out on Monday and  spent a couple days stressing over what a good thank you gift would be, before he finally remembered the picture he took a couple weeks ago of Jason and Ava.

He uploaded the picture to his laptop and, after doing about three hours of research, bought and downloaded an editing software. He then spent most of Thursday evening working on the photo, adding contrast and sharpening some of the details. When he was finished, he used his father’s office to print out the photo.

Even with the pit stop, he manages to get there a little before class, possibly because of his speeding. He feels a sudden nervousness when he sees Jason, sitting by himself on a bench, smoking a cigarette. There’s a large brown bag and a cardboard cup holder with two drinks sitting beside him. Tim double checks that the picture is fitting in the sleek black frame just right before stuffing it into the bright red gift bag and making his way over to Jason.

When Jason notices Tim heading his way, he puts out his cigarette on his shoe and flicks it into the trashcan beside him. He stands up once Tim gets closer, eyeing the red bag in Tim’s hand.

“Hey, I got this you.” Tim says, practically shoving the bag into Jason’s hand. Jason takes the bag but doesn’t reach into it, instead he just looks back and forth between Tim and the bag with wide eyes.

“Did you get me a _valentines present_?” Jason’s cheeks are red and Tim feels his face get hot in response.

“What?! No. No, this was a thank you gift. For Monday. The only colors they had were red or pink and I thought you like red better.” Tim huffs, crossing his arms.

“Okay chill, I was just messin’ with you.” Jason’s laugh still seems a little forced as he reaches into the bag.

Tim watches anxiously as Jason pulls the photo out, his eyes going soft and his mouth dropping open slightly in surprise. He stares at it wordlessly, his eyes flickering back and forth over the imagine. Tim shifts impatiently.

“Is it-Do you like it?” Jason blinks up at Tim surprised, like he forgot Tim was standing there.

“Tim, this is…I didn’t even know you took this!” And then he’s hugging Tim.

Jason’s got both arms around his waist, having to hunch over slightly to do so because of the difference in height between them. Tim’s arms hang limply at his side until Jason starts to pull away, then feeling almost desperate, he leans up on his tiptoes to wrap both arms around Jason’s shoulders.

He doesn’t know how long they stay that way, Tim breathing in Jason’s usual scent, this time mixed with a minty aftershave, before Jason pulls away slightly to look down at Tim. Tim waits for him to say something but he never does.

“Jason,” Tim says softly, eyes drawn down when Jason’s tongue darts out to lick his lips.

“Yeah?” Jason’s voice is almost a whisper.

“I’m uh…I mean,” Tim clears his throat. “Can I have my milkshake now?” He shivers at the temperature change when Jason jerks away from him.

“Someone hungry?” Jason jokes. He’s turned away from Tim, digging through the bag of food.

Tim watches him, trying to ignore the steady thump of his heart, not sure if he relieved or disappointed in himself for not asking the question that was actually on his mind.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was a struggle to write, and I honestly have no idea why but it was a pain to type every single scene. But I hope it still turned out ok :) And I'm sorry for any typos, I didn't spend as much time editing this because I ran out of time, oops.  
> **There is underage drinking here so use caution if that bothers you.  
> Enjoy!

“Alright guys,” Dr. B addresses the group surrounding her. “We’re going to have a special guest joining us today to help out with our lesson in Art Therapy.” As if on que, the door swings open to reveal Roy with a tiny brunette girl on his shoulders. He makes air plane noises as he runs them to the front of the room. It causes the girl to giggle delightedly and grip his hair tightly.

“Everyone I’d like you to meet Lian-” Roy stops short when the girl leans forward to furiously whisper in his ear. “Oh, excuse me. I meant Queen Lian Harper the Brave.” Tim can see Jason and Kori from across the room both look at each other with raised eyebrows and a smile. “She’s going to be showing us how therapeutic the simple art of coloring can be.”

Lian allows Roy to set her down so she can set down her lavender backpack in front of her. She stands up straight as she looks around the room, perfectly okay with being the center of attention.

“Coloring is the best activity cause you can’t be sad when you’re focused on makin’ somethin’ pretty.” She declares, reaching down to unzip her backpack.

“Everyone come up and grab a coloring book and some crayons. Don’t forget to be abs tracking.”

“Abstract.” Jason coughs into his hand.

“That’s what I said!” Lian pouts, but gets distracted by the crowd that’s forming around her. Conner and Tim let Bart go up to gather supplies while they head over to their usual corner.

Bart is the first one to break away from Lian’s group, jogging over to them with a book and some coloring pencils.

“I got one with the Avengers in it! I call coloring Hawkeye!” Bart chatters excitedly as he flips through the book to find the drawing of his favorite character.

They end up laying on their stomachs in a circle on the ground, each with their own page tore out in front of them and shared pencils in the center. Tim ends up choosing a picture with Iron Man posed as if he’s getting ready to fight invisible enemies. He hadn’t seen very many movies about them, but Iron Man had always seemed like the most interesting of the team. Plus, he liked the contrast of the red and yellow on his suit of armor.

After coloring about half of Hawkeye’s suit violet, Bart gets bored with coloring inside the lines and proceeds to draw bright explosions in the sky above the character. Conner chooses the Hulk, coloring him blue and red instead of his usual colors.

“Oh yeah,” Bart says suddenly, interrupting his own rant about Hawkeye’s lack of movie time. “Holly told Donna, who told Jaime, who told me that Garfield is having his sweet sixteen party a week early on Saturday, since his parents will be out of town. Rose’s brother is going to bring the alcohol apparently.”

“Oh yes,” Conner drawls. “A group of already messed up in the head teens getting drunk together. Sounds like a great idea.” Bart stops drawing and glares at him.

“Stop talking about us like that or like you’re any better than the rest of us, because you aren’t Kon.” Tim tries not to gape at Bart’s uncharacteristic outburst. “I’m not drinking and neither are Donna and Jaime so we can keep an eye on everything. Because, contrary to what you think, we aren’t completely _‘messed up’_.”

Tim watches something akin to hurt flash across Conner’s face before it’s lost behind anger again.

“Woah there kiddos, I thought coloring was supposed to chill us out, not get us all hot and bothered.” Jason sudden presence interrupts whatever Kon was about to say. Tim finds himself relaxing his shoulders he didn’t even know had tensed up. Jason would be a much better mediator than he would if things escalated

“That’s not what hot and bothered means.” Conner grumbles, glaring at his picture.

“It’s not? Maybe that’s why Roy’s always laughing at me when I say it.” He shrugs. He drops down next to Tim and starts flipping through the book. A strange tingle crawls along Tim’s left side where their bodies are only about an inch from touching.

“So what’s this I hear about a party on Saturday?” He asks, tearing out a page with Black Widow holding a gun in each hand. None of them answer Jason. Tim knows if Dr. B finds out she’ll put an end to it somehow. After a few moments of silence Jason lets out an exasperated sigh and rolls up the coloring book, hitting the three of them lightly on the head with it.

“I’ve known about it for a week, Garfield couldn’t help but to brag about it to Roy, and Roy told me and Kori about it the same day. We’re coming to provide some extra insurance that you guys don’t get into trouble and to help with rides home if anyone needs it.”

“So you won’t tell Dr. B?” Bart asks hopefully.

“No, but if you think she doesn’t already know about it then you’re an idiot. But we’ve all been your age before and we know what it’s like when teens get reckless ideas in their head. You’ll find a way to have your party one way or another. It’s best to just let you guys have your fun and keep an eye on you while you do it.”

“That doesn’t sound like a very fun night for you guys.” Conner says doubtfully. Jason shrugs, not looking up from where he’s coloring Black Widow’s guns hot pink.

“With Kori and Roy involved, anything can be fun. Besides alcohol and me don’t mix very well.” He says the last part in the same lighthearted town as the rest of his sentence, but Tim can see him start to tense up. He speaks up before Conner can ask Jason anything else.

“Lian is Roy’s daughter then?” He asks, nodding towards where Lian is sitting on Kori’s lap. She’s letting Kori French braid her hair, chatting excitedly while she colors a picture.

“Yeah. He was only sixteen when she was born. She was a preemie, that’s why she’s so scrawny, but she definitely makes up for it with her personality.” Jason shakes his head fondly, looking over at the girl.

“Must have been hard.” Bart says softly. “I couldn’t imagine having to take care of a kid at my age.”

“He says it was difficult, but he had his dad and Kori with him the whole way.” Jason shrugs. “I didn’t meet Roy until Lian was almost a year old, but Kori says he’s changed since having her. I guess he used to party all the time and disappear for days without telling anyone where he went, but he made changes for Lian.”

“Is Kori Lian’s mother?” Conner asks, watching the pair. Kori notices them all staring and looks surprised for a second, giving them a little wave before returning her focus on Lian’s hair, undisturbed.

“No, she’s just Roy’s childhood friend. Lian’s mother…isn’t in the picture anymore.”

 

Wednesday evening, Tim sits in an uncomfortable chair, glaring into his cup of hot chocolate as he listens to Dick’s rant about how detrimental chocolate is in coping with stress. Even though the mug is the target of his glare, it’s not what’s causing his annoyance.

 Tim hates his meetings with Dick. They always put him on edge, leaving him with a stress headache before it’s all over. He’s constantly having to analyze every word he says, accept whatever sweet of the day Dick offers him, and having to make sure he smiles enough, but not too much. All to keep from giving Dick any reason to ruin his life. It’s exhausting. It's not that he doesn’t like Dick as a person, even though he has really tried not to, he just doesn’t like feeling like his life has been put in the spotlight.

“Tim? Tim, are you listening?” Tim blinks, pulling himself away from his thoughts to find Dick giving him that concerned frown again. _Dammit_. Tim hates putting that look on his face.

“Sorry,” He smiles. “I got lost in thought. What were you saying?”

“What were you thinking about?” Dick asks instead of repeating himself. Tim tries not to let the irritation show on his face.

“I was just thinking about…” Tim slumps back into his chair, emotionally exhausted and they aren’t even half way done with their session for the day.

“Why are you doing this? We’ve been meeting for almost a month and a half now and you obviously haven’t found anything worth making a legal move against my parents. I just don’t know why we still have to meet, especially when I’ve already agreed to go to therapy two times a week until the end of the year. I don’t understand why we’re wasting our time.”

A look of frustration crosses Dick’s face, surprising Tim, before it falls away.

“Do you know how long it can take to take a child away from their family? Especially when you don’t have cooperation from the child or proper evidence against the parents.”

“No.”

“Months. Longer when there are no solid signs of physical abuse. With influential parents like yours, the court could be easily convinced that your anxiety has absolutely nothing to do with them.” Dick runs a hand through his hair. He looks older somehow. “I saw on your file that you turn eighteen in July. You’d be legally an adult before we could even place you in a foster home and then it’d all be for nothing.”

“So what am I doing here, then?” Tim frowns.

“You’re still suffering from anxiety attacks because of your parents, aren’t you?”

“They aren’t-“

“Tim, look me in the eye and tell me it’s not because of them.” The soft tone Dick uses helps soften the impact of the words. Tim stays silent, looking away from Dick and out the office window, clenching his jaw.

“I’m not forcing you here so I can find reasons to put you in the system. I want you here because I want you to be able to feel like you can talk to someone about things.” Tim tries not to let the look in Dick’s eyes drain his anger but fails.

“I thought that’s what my meetings with Dr. Gordon were for.”

“They are, but I’m here in case you feel like you need to speak to someone in a more private setting.”

“Oh.” Tim is still processing, not really able to think of a better reply.

“So Tim, now that you have my world nothing is going to be held against you later, do you think you can start trying to accept my help?” Dick smiles at him. Tim stares at him for a moment, before hesitantly returning the smile.

“Sure.”

 

Tim checks himself over one last time before making his way down the stairs to meet Stephanie outside. He had spent too much time picking out his outfit that just consisted of a red sweater and tan khakis. He blames Jason for his nervousness, something about seeing Jason outside their usual settings together sends a swarm of butterflies barreling through his stomach.

He’s thankful that he makes it through the front door without running into either of his parents. Even though he had told them that he was staying the night with Stephanie, so it’s not like they wouldn’t let him leave. The act of rebellion feels like a rite of passage for his teenage years and makes him fight back a giddy laugh as he slides in to Stephanie’s passenger seat.

“Well hello handsome!” She says in an exaggerated southern accent, running a finger along the arm of his sweater. 

“You look nice.” He says as she pulls out of the driveway, Garfield’s address already plugged into her GPS. She’s just wearing a grey long sleeved shirt and black skinny jeans, but it looks good on her. Tim’s thankful he doesn’t feel over or under dressed around her.

“I’m just glad your wardrobe dilemma gave me time to change after practice.” She says teasingly. “We’re going to be a little late but you’re not supposed to be early to these things anyway.” At hearing that, Tim feels kind of grateful that things happened the way they did. If he had planned better and gone by himself, he probably would have shown up half an hour early and seemed like an overeager weirdo. He has no idea how these things work.

“Thanks for coming with me by the way.” Tim says truthfully. He had been eager to go, but wanted to have the comfort of Stephanie’s presence to keep everything from feeling like it was too much. Plus he wanted someone who would keep him from making a fool of himself if he got too drunk. He had never drank before so he didn’t know what would happen.

“It’s fine. Mama Steph would have come anyway once you told me you were planning on drinking. Besides, I’m hoping there’ll be some single ladies there that are at least bi-curious.” She smirks.

“I thought you were bringing that girl you’ve been seeing, Trish from cheer camp.” He checks the backseat in case he just didn’t notice her before. When he looks back toward Stephanie, she’s lost the little smile that’s been on her face since he got into the car.

“Oh, her.” She scoffs. “I talk too much apparently.”

“She’s an idiot.” Tim says, shaking his head.

“I know,” Steph says lightly, throwing him a grin. “Not my problem she failed to see how delightful I am.” Tim smiles back at her, happy Stephanie wasn’t going to let Trish ruin her bubbly demeanor.

 

Garfield’s party is in full swing by the time they pull up. Tim can hear the music blaring from the driveway. It’s a good thing there aren’t any other houses around.

Garfield greets them at the door, already smelling of alcohol when he pulls a surprised Tim into a hug.

“Timmy!” His voice is slightly slurred when he speaks. “I’m so glad you came!”

“Oh umm, thanks for inviting me.” Gar seems to find that funny because he laughs as he pulls back from the hug to flick Tim’s nose. His honey eyes then zone in on Stephanie.

“And who is this fine lady you brought with you?” He asks as he holds a hand out for her to shake.

“A lesbian.” She smirks at him. It doesn’t throw Gar off at all.

“Nice! Make out with some pretty girls for me, mama.” He says as he gestures dramatically for them to come further into the house. Tim stares past him, surprised at the turnout of the party. He had no idea Garfield knew this many people.

A stranger immediately presses a solo cup, filled with neon green liquid, into Tim and Stephanie’s hand. It has some sort of blue crushed sugar on the rim and gummy bears sticking out of it.

“This looks…unhealthy.” Tim drawls as Stephanie stares at hers like it’s a new gymnastics routine she doesn’t understand.

“It’s called the Beast. Gar invented it for his birthday.” Tim nearly jumps out of his skin when Raven suddenly appears beside him. She has a steaming mug with a teabag hanging out of it in her hand.

“I’d be careful with those. Even the gummies have been soaked in vodka.”

“Have you had one yet?” Tim asks.

“No. I’m not a fan of drinking. I’m just here to enjoy seeing everyone make a fool of themselves.” Her lips tilt up in the ghost of a smile as she looks over to where Garfield’s dancing, or rather, trying and failing to dance.

Tim throws a questioning glance at Stephanie who just shrugs and raises her drink at him. After he touches her cup with his, he takes a large gulp of his drink, sputtering at the unexpected burn in his throat.

“Good?” She asks him, her drink still untouched.

“It tastes like a spicy sour patch kid.” Tim licks some of the blue sugar and takes a smaller sip this time, only slightly grimacing. Stephanie laughs at him and hands her drink to a passing stranger.

“Where are your friends?” Tim turns and looks around the room. He instantly spots Kori and Roy in the middle of a makeshift dance floor, doing some type of ridiculous but coordinated dance. Over to the left of the dancefloor, Conner is playing Mario Kart with Donna, laughing hard when she leans over to elbow him. Behind them he can see Bart on a couch practically sitting on Jaime’s lap and talking excitedly to Cassandra and Rose.

 After saying goodbye to Raven, he takes Stephanie over to his friends and introduces her to them, smiling as he watches how easily she fits in. Even Cass, who usually gives off passive vibes, lets out a soft laugh at one of her jokes.

He’s having a good time in their company, sipping on his drink and enjoying the warmth and relaxation that has overcome him, but something keeps nagging at the back of his mind.

“Where’s Jason?” He asks suddenly. His eyes have been doing regular sweeps around the room for the past half hour that they’ve been there, but he hasn’t spotted him once.

“Oh, well apparently him and my older brother, the one who bought the alcohol, have a bit of a history.” Rose sneers. “They both disappeared upstairs right before you two came over. Probably had some catching up to do.”

“What, like they’re old friends or something?” Tim asks, a sinking feeling in his stomach.

“No.” Rose’s little smile tells him all he needs to know. While he had been secretly hoping that Jason played for his team for a few weeks now, this wasn’t the way he had wanted to find out. He feels Stephanie’s eyes on him as he takes another swallow of his drink.

“Well I want to dance.” Stephanie says pointedly, catching Tim’s eyes. He shakes his head at her, appreciating the effort but he just really isn’t in the mood.

“I’ll dance.” Cass’s voice is quiet but firm as she looks up at Stephanie. Steph blinks in surprise as the two stare at each other a moment. It’s rare for her to be caught off guard.

“O-okay sure, let’s uh. Let’s do that.” Cass nods and grabs her hand, pulling her out onto the dance floor with her.

Movement from across the room catches Tim’s attention as Jason appears on the top of the stairs, a blonde boy behind him. The warmth from the alcohol that’s been under Tim’s skin vanishes as he notices the carefree smile on Jason’s face and his messy hair. He can’t keep from scowling as he makes eye contact his Jason, whose smile vanishes before he says something to the guy with him. Jason then moves away from the blondie to make his way over to Tim.

As soon as Tim realizes what Jason is doing, he breaks away from his group without a word, moving around the opposite side of the room and using the crowd as a cover. He makes his way over to the front door, exiting Garfield’s house. He walks aimlessly into the middle of the yard before he has to sit down from the dizziness sneaks up on him.

He tries to keep his eyes open, but watching the stars spin around in circles makes him nauseous, so he decides to close his eyes, only for a moment.

“Tim! Jesus are you okay?” Tim opens his eyes and comes face to face with a concerned Jason. He’s cold, even though he doesn’t feel like he’s been out here long. Jason’s hands are both stretched out as if they are going to touch Tim but instead they just flutter around his face helplessly. Tim bats Jason’s hands away as he sits up.

“ ‘M fine, leave me alone.”

“You’re so not fine. You’re like the opposite on fine, the unfinest you could be.” But he backs off, sitting back on his heels with a fond expression on his face as he looks Tim over. He still has the sex hair, Tim glares at it whole-heatedly.

“Woah there, someone’s angry drunk.” Jason teases, not at all bothered when Tim lowers his glare to Jason’s face.

“I’m not drunk.”

“Sure you aren’t,” Jason agrees easily. “Should still drink some water though.” He waggles a bottle in front of Tim that he hadn’t notice before. Tim takes it, realizing after the first gulp that he’s incredibly thirsty. Jason pulls the water bottle away from him after he’s downed about a third of it.

“Don’t want you puking on me.” He says, eyeing Tim cautiously. Tim rolls his eyes.

“Go back to your boyfriend. I don’t need you to take care of me.” Jason sucks in a sharp breath.

“Wait…Is that why you’re mad? Because you think I’m dating Joey?”

“Yes!” Tim pouts. Jason shoots him a hurt look, confusing him.

“Hey fuck you man, it’s the twenty-first century. I can date whoever I want to!”

“But I don’t want you to!”

“Well I don’t remember asking your permission, you drunk baboon.”

“Not a baboon.” Tim wants to make a better argument, but the alcohol seems to be making its way back up his throat.

“You’re homophobic though.” Jason says bitterly.

“ _What?_ “

“Don’t what me. That’s what you said.”

“No, I said I didn’t like you dating Joey.” Jason throws him an incredulous look before sighing.

“Well I’m not dating Joey. This is the first time I’ve seen him in a couple years, we were just talking.” It’s Tim’s turn to stare incredulously.

“But you had the sex hair.” He insists.

“Sex hair?” Jason’s laugh almost sounds embarrassed as he reaches up to run his fingers through his hair. “Tim, I rode my bike here.”

“Oh.” Tim frowns. “So you’re not dating Joey?”

“I’m not dating anyone. But I used to date him and I’ll hopefully date more guys in the future.” He says firmly, a challenge in his eyes.

“I don’t care that you date guys.” Actually he does care, a lot. He’d jump for joy if he wasn’t sure it’d make him throw up.

“You sure? You kinda seemed like you did.”

“I’m sure. That’d be pretty hypocritical of me anyway.” Tim blurts before he can stop himself. Heat floods his face as he meets Jason’s stunned gaze.

“That’s umm, because I do too. I mean I like-“ He swallows. “I like boys.”

“Oh.” Is Jason’s only reply. He’s still watching Tim, his lips slightly parted and ears pink. Tim opens his mouth for yet another confession because the alcohol is making his lips very loose, but in a moment he’ll forever be both grateful for and embarrassed of, he turns and empties his stomach onto Garfield’s freshly cut grass.

Tim wakes up the next morning at Stephanie’s with a headache and a dry throat. His memory of getting to her house is slightly blurred. He barely remembers a sober Stephanie making fun of him the whole ride home.

His memory of his conversation with Jason however, is crystal clear.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! So as of right now I’m not sure when the next update will be. Just because I’d like to turn all my focus to my JayTim week fics so I can get those out of the way. I’ve been trying to write too many fics at once and I feel like it’s been affecting(effecting? I never know which one to use) the quality of my writing, and I don’t want to be putting out half-assed material for you guys to read. Another reason for the pause is, as you’ll notice by the end of the chapter, things are going to be getting more intense. I want to reread this and make a more detailed plan for how I want the rest of this story to go. That way I make sure I’m not leaving anything out. Please be patient with me! I adore this story and all the amazing people who have read and commented on it, the break won’t be too long I promise.

Tim runs as fast as his legs will carry him. He pants, looking around for a place to hide in the woods surrounding him. He doesn’t have much time.

He jumps when he hears the sound of twigs snapping much too close for comfort. He spots a giant oak tree and rushes to it, hoping he can hide behind the trunk until his pursuer searches somewhere else. He presses his back against the bark and places a hand over his mouth, trying to mute his breathing.

He tenses when the rhythmic thumping of footsteps stop just on the other side of the tree. An antagonizing minute of pure silence passes after. Even the birds have stopped singing, as if they can feel the tension in the air. The footsteps pick up again, followed by the sounds of rustling in the opposite direction of Tim’s hiding place. He lets out a sigh of relief, but is still cautious as he peers around the trunk, looking into the clearing behind it for any signs of danger. He relaxes when he doesn’t see anything out of the ordinary. 

Tim starts to step out from his hiding place, confidence shooting through him a second too early. Two hands wrap around his waist in an iron tight grip. He cries out in shock, flailing as the person tugs him back flush against them.

“Caught ya.” The man pants in his ear. His heavy breaths causing a strand of Tim’s hair to fall over his eyes. Tim makes to struggle but the man acts quickly, moving one of his hands away from Tim’s waist to run his fingers gently up Tim’s side.

“ _Jason_ ,” Tim gasps, letting out an involuntary string of laughter. “Cut it out!”

“Nope.” Jason replies cheerfully. “You deserve this. What was that cocky little comment you made earlier? Something about me never being able to catch you?”

“Maybe I just got bored and let you catch me.” Tim lies, regretting it when Jason just huffs in his ear and tickles him more enthusiastically.

A couple of weeks ago Tim, as oblivious as he is, wouldn’t have thought much about this interaction. But now…now he knows that _Jason likes boys_ , and Jason knows that _Tim likes boys too_.

Ever since Garfield’s birthday party things had changed between him and Jason. He’s not sure what to call it exactly, but Tim can feel an electric current in the space between them at times. There are even moments when Tim thinks Jason will say something to him that sounds almost flirtatious. Lately he finds himself grinning foolishly during every conversation he has with Jason, even if they aren’t talking about anything amusing.

“Okay, okay!” He cries once his sides start cramping. “I give! You’re the greatest tagger there ever was. I was foolish to try and best you, Mr. Todd.” Jason grins into his shoulder, before he steps back away from Tim.

Tim turns to face him, shaking his head at the triumphant expression the other boy has. Jason’s face is red, shining with sweat, and his hair is a damp mess. Tim is sure he’s in no better shape. The electric current is back between them, somehow worse now that they are alone. Tim wonders if Jason can feel it as intensely as he does.

Before either of them can say anything, Bart’s voice travels through the woods, calling both of their names.

“Guess we should head back, huh?” Jason asks, running a hand through his hair. It makes the sweaty strands stick up in many different directions. Tim itches to get his phone out of his pocket and snap a picture of Jason. If only there was a scenario of that where Tim  wouldn’t seem like some sort of creepy stalker.

“Tim?”

“What?” Tim jerks, half afraid he said his thoughts out loud, before remembering Jason had asked him a question. “Oh yeah, I mean yes we should.” Jason shoots him a look that seems to be a mix between confused and amused before leading the way back in the direction of their friends.

It’s one of those rare days in early April that had perfect weather. The sun is shining down through the cloudless sky, giving Gotham a nice break from the gloomy weather they had been having for months now. The teens had been able to convince Dr. B that being outside counted as a therapeutic activity and she had let the group walk to a nearby park to get some fresh air instead of what had originally been on the agenda.

Jason stops suddenly once they’ve stepped out of the woods, causing Tim to almost run into him. Tim can see most of the kids in their group spread out around the park. A lot of them have taken over the basketball court, playing with Dr. B as the referee. Ava isn’t too far away from them, napping in the shade of a large tree.

“Is everything okay?” Tim asks, frowning at the other boy. Jason stares back at him for a moment before answering. His face is still red from all the running around earlier, traveling down to make patches of red on his neck.

“Yeah I just…” Jason looks away from Tim and down toward his shoes. He sighs, frustrated and raises his head back up to look at Tim again. The determined expression on his face reminds Tim of the first couple of interactions he had with Jason. He hopes he hasn’t done anything to warrant being punched again.

“Do you have any plans on Saturday?”

“No.” Tim answers quickly then fights back a wince. He didn’t even know why Jason was asking him yet.

“Oh okay, cool.” Jason takes a deep breath. “I was just wondering because the original Halloween is playing at the drive-in, and I wanted to go see it but I didn’t want to go alone and I thought maybe you’d like to see it too.”

“Just the two of us?” Tim clarifies, stunned. Jason nods, crossing his arms over his chest.

“As friends?” Jason hesitates but then shakes his head, sending Tim’s heart stuttering. He gives his arm a quick pinch, holding back a grimace because _holy crap that hurts_.

“I’d really like that.” Tim says, grinning at Jason. Jason seems in deflate, tension running out of him that Tim didn’t even notice was there before.

 “Awesome. I’ll pick you up at seven? Unless that time doesn’t work for you.” Jason adds quickly.  “We can go whenever you want to.”

“Seven is perfect.” Tim reassures him, trying not to laugh at how jittery Jason seems. It’d be hypocritical of him, considering his body feels like it’s in the middle of an earthquake.

“Seven is perfect for what?” Bart seems to materialize out of thin air, coming out of the trees behind Jason and Tim. He’s pulling Conner along behind him.

“I had to let Mr. Slow-poke over here catch me, over wise we would have been out there all night.” He adds, raising Conner’s hand high in the air as if to make sure they knew who he was talking about. Conner grunts in response, sounding annoyed, but by now Tim has known him long enough to know he doesn’t really mind.

“We were just talking about going to the movies on Saturday.” Tim blurts. He regrets it instantly when he notices the deer in headlights look Jason shoots him.

“Sweet! What are you guys going to see? Can we come?” Bart asks in one breath.

“Oh uh, well…” Tim looks over to Jason for help but Jason is still doing his best impression of Bambi. Conner rolls his eyes behind Bart’s back.

“Bart, I wouldn’t book up your entire weekend. Jaime said he was planning to ask you to do something with him.” He says smoothly. Bart turns red almost instantaneously.

“He did?” His grip of Conner’s arm seems almost punishing now.

“Yeah, but he’s probably too shy to actually go through with it.” Conner shrugs. “You should just put him out of his misery and ask him out yourself.” Bart takes off sprinting toward the basketball court, where Jaime is sitting on the sidelines, completely unaware of what’s about to happen.

“You’re both welcome.” Conner drawls.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jason replies. “On a completely unrelated note, I’ve going to head off to go smoke now.” He then walks as quickly as he can away from the two of them without actually running.

“You three are hopeless.” Conner shakes his head at Tim.

“I always am.” Tim sighs, still watching Jason as he gets further and further away from him.

 

Jason picks him up at six-fifty on Saturday night. Tim had been waiting nervously by the front door since six-thirty. He’s grateful his parents had to work late and Amelia had gone home for the night, so he didn’t half to explain to anyone why he had been pacing back and forth by the front door for nearly half an hour.

After hearing the two honks that signify Jason’s arrival, Tim counts to ten before opening the front door. He didn’t want Jason to know that he had been standing at the door, waiting for him like a weirdo.

He’s surprised to see Jason driving a pick-up truck tonight, although taking a motorcycle to the drive-in wouldn’t make much sense. The truck is old, Tim can see specs of paint peeling off when he opens the passenger door.

“Hey.” Jason greets him with a little half smile. He’s dressed up, by Jason’s standards, wearing a newer pair of dark jeans and a red hoodie instead of his usual torn jeans and leather jacket. Tim can detect the faint scent of lingering smoke, meaning Jason probably had just finished off a cigarette recently.

“Hi. You look nood.” Tim flushes when Jason tilts his head at him in confusion.

“I meant you look good! Or nice. But I guess I tried to say both.” He hurriedly explains. ‘ _Nice going, Tim. He’s probably already regretting asking you out and you guys haven’t even made it out of the driveway yet.’_

“Awesome, I’ll take that as a double compliment.” Jason chuckles, reaching over to ruffle a hand through Tim’s hair. Relief sweeps over Tim at Jason’s casual attitude about his mess up.

“I didn’t know you owned a truck.” Tim comments as Jason reverses out of his driveway.

“It’s Roy’s. He let me borrow it in exchange for me being the chef to Lian’s birthday party next month. I would have done it anyway, but let’s just keep that between us.” Jason winks over at him.

“Your secrets safe with me.” Tim mimes sealing his lips closed.

They make their way to the movie mostly in a relaxed silence, Tim catching Jason mouthing words to whatever song is on the radio more than once. He had been nervous that there would be too many awkward silences during their time together, but now the silence feels easy.

He does, however, feel the need to voice his thoughts when Jason backs into a parking spot. Placing them facing the opposite direction of the movie screen.

“Umm, Jason?” He asks, looking around at all the other vehicles facing the correct way. “I don’t think this is how we are supposed to watch the movie.” Jason shoots him an amused look, grabbing a bag from the back seat and getting out of the truck without answering Tim.

“Uh okay?” Tim mutters to himself. He follows Jason’s lead and climbs out of the passenger seat.

He finds the answer to his question when he notices the changes Jason made to the back of the truck. The trunk floor is covered with multiple blankets and has two pillows propped up under the backseat window. Jason has already climbed up onto the truck, having taken his shoes off and placed them towards where Tim guesses their feet will go once they get settled. Tim can see him pulling out several items from the bag he brought with him. Tim crawls up next to him, curious about what he’s doing.

“Woah.” Tim says, observing the small pile Jason has placed out on the sheets. There’s a bag of both blue and red Doritos, gummy worms, Oreos, and a six-pack of Yoohoo.

“I guess I kind of overdid it.” Jason mutters, scratching the back of his head.

“No, no it’s fine!” Tim hurries to reassure him. “That was really thoughtful of you.” He grabs the pack of Oreos and a Yoohoo to help make his point.

 He settles into the blankets, patting the spot next to him to encourage Jason to join him. Jason settles down beside him, close enough for Tim to feel the warmth radiating from him, with his own drink and the bag of red Doritos. They stay like that through the first part of the movie, Tim attempting to focus more on the violent movie than on the boy sitting next to him. But things change after Jason’s phone starts vibrating.

He ignores it at first but whoever is trying to contact him seems to be very persistent. He mutters a quiet curse when the phone lights up for the third time in a row and reads the message. Tim tries to mind his own business but can’t quite hold back his curiosity when he hears the choked off noise Jason makes as he stares at his phone.

“Everything okay?”

“Yup.” Jason answers too quickly. Tim raises his eyebrows and Jason maintains his look of innocence until his phone lights up yet again.

“It’s Kori...and Roy now too apparently.” He sighs, slumping back against the truck.

“What are they saying?”

“They are just asking me how the d…how everything is going.” Jason glares down at his phone as it lights up again.

“That’s a lot of texts for just that question.” Tim prompts, hiding a smile.

“Are you sure you want to know?” Jason side-eyes him.

“Definitely.” Tim answers easily.

“They want to know if we’ve held hands yet.” Jason mumbles, keeping his eyes down toward his phone screen. Tim’s hand twitches in response and he presses it down firmly against the blankets to discourage himself from doing anything crazy, like reaching for Jason’s hand for instance.

“Oh.” Tim hesitates but then thinks ‘ _screw it’._ “Well if it’ll get them to leave you alone, I don’t mind.” His heart nearly hammers its way out of his chest in the pause before Jason’s response.

“It would probably get them to shut up.” He agrees, sounding almost cautious.

“Okay.” Tim says.

“Alright.” Jason says. Neither one of them move.

Tim scoffs at both himself and Jason, reaching over and grabbing Jason’s hand in a burst of bravery. Jason’s whole body seems to jerk, momentarily freezing up. Tim holds his breath until Jason relaxes again, spreading his fingers open to intertwin them with Tim’s.

 Tim stares at their joined hands, uncaring that he’s missing his favorite part of the movie. Jason’s hand feels warm and rough with callouses against Tim’s softer, smaller ones. He looks back up at Jason, who is already watching him an unreadable expression on his face. When their eyes meet, Jason smiles and tightens his grip on Tim’s hand. Tim squeezes him back, shooting Jason a bashful smile in response.

Jason’s phone lights up, causing Jason to look away from Tim to check the message. He doesn’t let go of Tim’s hand though. He quickly types out a message and laughs when he almost instantly gets a reply.

“I told them, they seem pretty excited.” He chuckles showing Tim the messages. Tim leans closer to Jason, only so he can read the texts better of course, and snorts when he sees what they sent. Roy’s reply looks like he just smashed his keyboard and Kori’s is just a bunch of exclamation marks and smiley faces.

Their hands stay clasped throughout the duration of the movie, even after their palms start to sweat and Tim’s fingers ache from the lack of movement. It’s nothing compared to the quiet amazement Tim feels at the thought that he’s _actually holding hands with Jason_ _right now_. He wonders briefly if it’s the same hand that Jason used to punch him in school a few months ago.

 

There’s an envelope taped to Tim’s front door when he gets home. Curiosity overrides the happiness that Tim had been feeling ever since Jason had hugged him goodnight. It’s probably for the best, since the previous emotion was making him want to do crazy things, like skip up his driveway, instead of walking like a normal person.

The envelope is blank with no sign of who it’s from or for. Tim enters his house and locks the door behind him. All the lights are off, which means his parents are still working late.

As soon as he can see, he opens the envelope and reaches inside, surprised when the texture isn’t that of a thin sheet of paper like he was expecting, instead it’s smoother and slightly thicker. A polaroid.

“How?” Tim breathes, inspecting the image with awe. The photo is of Jason and Tim earlier tonight. It seems to have been taken the moment after they started holding hands, when they are smiling at each other. Whoever took it must have been parked somewhere in front of them.

He grins, remembering how Kori and Roy kept texting Jason. They must have been watching the whole thing.

 ** _Your friends followed us to the movies._** He texts Jason, sending him a picture of the polaroid.

Tim’s already changed and laying down in bed by the time Jason replies. He was probably still driving whenever Tim sent him the picture.

**_I’m not surprised. They’re like helicopter parents. I just asked Roy what they did tonight and he said they ”stayed home”. Whatever._ **

Tim spends more time than necessary looking at the picture of them as if he needs to memorize it. But when he goes to sit it down on his nightstand, he notices something new.

It’s the color that catches his eye, a bright green J written almost sloppily on the back of the picture. Next to it is a violet smiley face, drawn just as messily as the J was. Tim shakes his head, Lian must have been with Kori and Roy during their night of stalking.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm super excited to finally be back to this fic AND it's my number one project so no more long waits...I hope :> I'll try to update every other week like I was doing before. But THANK YOU guys so much for being so patient and understanding with the break :) I hope you guys liked JayTim week btw!
> 
> Anyways on to the chapter, I hope you guys like it! Also I'm sorry for the typos you'll likely find. I was rereading this recently and found sooooo many obvious ones. You can just call me the typo queen -.-

Stephanie is waiting for him at his locker as usual, except this time she has a little smirk on her face as she greets him. 

“What?” He asks her, even though he knows perfectly well what that look is for. 

“Nothing. Just happy my boy is finally getting some is all.” She shrugs, twirling a finger through a strand of her hair. 

“Getting some?” Tim laughs. “We just held hands, Steph. I’d hardly call that action.”

“More action than you’ve gotten in nearly eighteen years, Timmy.” 

“Whatever.” Tim scoffs. “Like you’d know what action is if it smacked you in the face.”

“Well I don’t know about that. Me and Cass, we-”

“Ugh, no. Just no.” Tim shoves at her shoulder when she starts waggling her eyebrows.

“Suit yourself.” She shrugs. “Speaking of. Where is lover boy right now anyways? Thought you two would be inseparable now that you both finally reached the next level.”

“I don’t know.” Tim admits, the familiar pit of anxiety that he’s been trying to keep down all weekend starting to rise up. “I sent him a message on Sunday but he never responded to it.” 

“Oh.” Stephanie says, face carefully blank. 

“We don’t usually text on weekends anyway, and I just saw him on Saturday. So that’s normal right?” 

Stephanie waits a moment too long before replying with a quiet, “...Yeah.” Completely failing to reassure Tim. 

Tim lets out a long sigh. He’s sure Stephanie is thinking similar thoughts to the ones he had on Sunday evening, after hours had passed without a response from Jason. He had looked back over every single detail of their date, trying to find something he did that would have put Jason off.  

Maybe Jason finally realized that Tim wasn’t his type. Their personalities were so different after all. Jason was outspoken and unbothered by what anyone thought of him, he was fiercely kind and protective of his circle. Tim was...just Tim. An awkward kid who couldn’t even handle day to day life. But it wasn’t like Jason didn’t already know that about him. Maybe his palm got too sweaty whenever they were holding hands and grossed Jason out. He just doesn’t know.

“Well you’ll see him tonight, right?” Stephanie says, watching his expressions carefully. He doesn’t want to know what she sees there. “Just talk to him then. I’m sure his phone just broke or something stupid like that.”

“Yeah. Or something.”

****

But Jason never shows up to group Monday evening. Tim glances back at the door every time it opens. He stops when Kori and Roy walk in without Jason in tow. They take their usual seats beside Dr. B in the semi circle, Kori shaking her head when Dr. B sends her a questioning look.

“Alright kids,” She addresses the semi-circle around her. “Let’s split into our usual groups. I have something a little different on the agenda for today.” Tim, Bart, and Conner remain seated as the rest of the kids split off into their usual groups. He shrugs at the confused looks his friends send his way. He knows as much as they do, unfortunately. 

“Boys, Jason won’t be able to join us today. I want you to each pick a different group to join for now.” Dr. B says once they are the only ones left. Bart immediately heads over to join Roy’s group while Conner joins Kori’s, being greeted by Donna with a fist bump. That leaves Tim to join Dr. B’s group.  

He drags a chair behind him as he follows Dr. B to where she has her sessions with Rose, Holly and Terra. The girls greet him with indifference, all three of them look like they’d rather be anywhere but here. Well, Tim supposes, not anywhere. They did choose to be here over juvie. 

“Hey girls,” Dr. B smiles at them warmly. “Tim’s going to be joining us today so let’s make him feel welcome.” Her smile continues even after the silence that follows her sentence. Tim picks at his fingernails, feeling increasingly uncomfortable. 

“You know,” Dr. B drawls. “I have a meeting with your parole officers tomorrow morning. They’ll be wondering how seriously you’re taking your recovery.”

“Welcome to the group, Tim.” Says Holly.

“Hey Tim.” Says Terra. 

“Sup.” Says Rose. 

“Hello.” Tim mumbles, keeping his eyes on Dr. B. She relaxes, seeming satisfied with their cooperation. 

“I had an epiphany of sorts over the weekend,” She begins. “That I’ve been teaching you guys to tamper down the negative things you’re feeling. Teaching you techniques to calm yourself instead of just facing them. Something happened over the weekend, something that-” She pauses, closing her eyes for a moment before continuing.

“Something that made me remember that it’s normal to feel upset, it’s human. And sometimes you’ll be so distraught that none of the techniques you’re learning here will help. So today we’re going to focus on accepting those negative feelings. I want you to each write a letter to someone you feel has done you wrong. I won’t read it!” She reassures them when she gets four looks of disbelief. 

“I just want you to be able to find healthy ways to let any negative feelings you have out. I want you to write what you would want to say to that person, if you could do it without any consequences. But I don’t want you to write any threats in the letter.” She adds, her eyes flickering over to Rose briefly. “Just write about how they made you feel.” 

“What if we feel like we want to punch them in the throat?” Rose asks, getting snickers from the other girls. 

“I’m sure Officer Thomas will find that very hilarious.” Dr. B replies dryly. 

Tim stares at his blank sheet of paper for fifteen minutes before Dr. B notices his lack of writing. He doesn’t notice her approaching until she’s sitting right next to him on the floor. He looks at her and then at her wheelchair sitting about a foot away from them in shock. 

“I’m not glued to the thing, Tim.” She laughs. 

“Sorry, I just-” He flounders.

“It’s alright.” She shrugs. “I can’t help but notice you haven’t written anything.”

“Thought you weren’t going to read it anyway.”

“I’m not, but I’d still like you to participate.” 

“What if I’m not upset with anyone?”

“I believe that ninety percent of the time people have someone that they’re irritated with at least. People clash, it’s what we do.”

“Oh yeah?” Tim asks, mirroring her small smile. “Who are you irritated with then?”

“Oh, a lot of people right now.” She rolls her eyes. “My father, for not taking good enough care of himself. My boyfriend, for always leaving his dirty laundry all over the place in our new apartment.” She looks over at the other girls before leaning in closer to Tim to whisper her next words. “At Rose, for being such a sarcastic little shit all the time.” 

Tim snorts, raising a hand to his mouth to try and muffle his laughter.

“What?” Dr. B giggles as well. “You know it’s true.”

“I do,” Tim admits, getting ahold of himself. “I just didn’t expect you to say it.”

“I’m not really known to have a filter over what I think and what I say. Dick says it’ll get me in trouble one day.” 

“He doesn’t seem like the type to mind someone without a filter.” Tim says, thinking back to his previous sessions with Dick. He frowns, remembering how Dick was looking for a place to live just a few weeks ago.

“Well Tim,” Dr. B says suddenly, interrupting his thoughts. “I better go check on the girls before they get too carried away with whatever it is they’re doing instead of writing. If you can’t think of anyone to address the letter to, don’t worry about it. Just remember this exercise for a later date, it could come in handy.”

Tim nods, watching her make her way back into her chair. He thinks about offering to help her but knows she wouldn’t be the type to appreciate the implication of her needing it. Plus by the time he’s had the thought she’s already buckling herself in. 

“Dr. B wait,” He says, nervous but unable to stay quiet. “Have you heard from Jason at all? Is he okay?”

Dr. B seems to tense, eyebrows drawing together as she adjusts the straps on her gloves instead of looking at him.

“He’s fine.” She says quietly. “He just had to take a personal day today.”

“Are you sure?” Her response did nothing to ease his anxiety.

“Yeah, I spoke to him on the phone earlier today. He’ll be back by Friday.” Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. 

“Oh...okay.” He doesn’t make an attempt to return her smile. He’s too tired to fake it the way she is.

****

He gets a call after school on Tuesday that Dick won’t be able to meet with him this week because he’s taking a personal day. The woman on the phone told him that Dick had left a few recommendations of who he could see instead but Tim declines. It took him long enough to get used to talking to Dick. He wasn’t really up to trying it again with some stranger. 

He lays in bed until it’s time for dinner, ignoring homework and college applications that need to be done in favor of staring either at his ceiling or at his text to Jason. 

He makes his way downstairs when it’s time to eat. His father is already there, watching the news on the small TV they have hanging on the wall and ignoring his plate for a stack of papers in front of him. He doesn’t even look up as Tim slides into his seat. 

Tim’s stomach rumbles when he smells the food in front of him. He hadn’t even realized he was hungry but he did skip breakfast this morning, too nervous about his next meeting with Jason to have an appetite. He digs in, half listening to the news anchor as he eats.

“In other news, the police are still advising everyone to be cautious after the break-out over the weekend at-” The T.V clicks off. Tim looks up to see his mother standing at the edge of the table with the remote in her hand. 

“Families don’t watch T.V during dinner together. Or do work at the table.” She adds, with a pointed look toward his father. His father gives her a sharp glance but moves his papers to the side. 

The only other words spoken during dinner are when his parents tell him they’ll be out of town for the weekend. Tim thinks that maybe his mother has the wrong idea of what a family dinner is suppose to be like.

***

“You don’t think he’d take a whole week off school and group just to avoid me do you?”

“What I think is that you’re being paranoid.”

“Steph,”

“Tim, seriously. Whatever is going on could have nothing to do with you.”

“Yeah, but-”

“But nothing. Just take a breath and chill out. You're going to give yourself a headache.”

***

Tim gets to group early on Friday, sipping his third coffee of the day as he sits in his car, listening to an album Bart had referred to him last week. He had been putting off listening to it, since he had learned after Bart’s third band recommendation that they didn’t have a similar taste in music.

He makes it to the third song in the album before he gives up on the band, shutting off the radio and enjoying the silence while he plays puzzle games on his phone. 

He has five seconds left on the timer, two moves away from making a new high score when a tapping on the window distracts him. He looks up to find Kori peering down into his window with a smile. The timer goes off, a cheery tune in face of Tim’s failure and he sighs, exiting the app before opening the driver’s side door. 

Kori steps back to give him room to get out, allowing Tim to catch sight of Roy standing behind her, leaning up against a red truck. The very same one that Jason took him to the movies in. He takes a few deep breaths before focusing his full attention on Kori. 

“Hey Tim,”

“Hey Kori, Roy.” Roy nods at Tim’s greeting, moving closer to them and sliding an arm around Kori’s shoulder.

“We just wanted to check in with you. You seemed a little stressed at our last meeting.”

“Well I have anxiety, so…” Tim regrets his sarcasm when Kori’s smile freezes on her face as a fire seems to light behind her eyes. Roy looks between them, lips twitching as if he’s trying to hide a smile. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Tim backtracks raising his hands in surrender, palms open. “I’m just tired I guess.” 

“Everyone’s tired, kiddo.” Roy moves from Kori to Tim, wrapping an arm around him in the same manner. “Why don’t you tell us what’s actually going on?” 

Tim hesitates, looking between the two of them. They have to know.

“Is Jason okay? It’s fine if-if he doesn’t want to talk to me. I just want to know that he’s alright.” 

Tim feels Roy tense up beside him while an unreadable expression crosses Kori’s face. 

“Oh honey,” She sighs. “You didn’t do anything wrong. He just has some stuff he has to deal with right now.”

“But what stuff? That’s the thing, I realized this week that I’m dating someone I hardly know anything about.”

“You don’t have to know everything about him right away. That’s the purpose of dating, to get to know someone.” Roy says, sounding defensive. 

“Okay, but why isn’t he talking to me? Have you guys talked to him?” Their guilty looks tell him all he needs to know.

“So it is me.” Tim confirms, digging his thumb nail sharply into his palm.

“No, it’s just-” Roy makes a frustrated noise. “Look he’s just got some stuff going on right now and-”

“I know, you already-”

“ _ And _ ,” Roy speaks over him. “He does this with everyone that gets close to him. He started hanging out with us for awhile and then all of a sudden he got scared, I guess, and disappeared for a few weeks. Barbara had a word for it. Something like, arachnophobia, but with feelings instead of spiders.”

“Philophobia.” Kori rolls her eyes. 

“Yeah that,” Roy continues. “What I’m trying to say is that he likes you, like crazy likes you. He talks about you all the time. It’s pretty fuckin’-” He pauses when Kori sends him a sharp look. “Fucking adorable.” He finally finishes in a mutter.

“Oh,” Tim says softly, his face heating up.

Kori moves closer to him then, brushing his hair back from his face. It’s a move he’s only really seen mothers do on television, not something he thought people did in real life. It’s oddly comforting.

“I know it’s not very fair of us to ask this of you, but can you just be patient with him until he figures some of that stuff out? He’ll come to you when he’s ready, I promise.” 

Tim stares at their hopeful expressions for a second before closing his eyes and rubbing his temples, trying to fight off an impending headache.

“Okay,” He finally sighs. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty sure this is the chap you've all been waiting for :) Although please be warned there is implied abuse, neglect, and nonconsensual drug use toward a minor that is mentioned here so it's not pretty. But I tried not to go into too much detail for you guys. Anyways I hope you enjoy! I'm sure some of your questions will be answered at least.

Tim spends his Saturday with Bart and Conner, playing video games and eating enough pizza between the three of them to feed half of a third world country. Both boys can tell he’s had a rough week and do their best to make him feel better in their own way. 

Tim appreciates it, listening to Bart’s goofy ramblings and feeling Conner’s constant warmth as the larger boy sits close enough to Tim that their arms brush. It's reassuring in its own way, even if they can't really fix the problem. Not for the first time, he's incredibly thankful he met them. 

He ends up falling asleep curled up on the end of Bart's mattress, watching his two friends do rematch after rematch as Conner keeps winning in Mario Kart. 

He declines Bart's offer to stay the night, stopping by the gas station to pick up some junk food since Amelia's gone for the weekend and won't be there to shoot judgmental glares at his Swiss rolls and sugary drinks. 

Tim exits the store, yawning as he squints past the flickering street light toward his car. He pauses, doing a double take when he notices a figure leaning against his driver-side door. But the darkness and unsteady light source aren’t tricking him, that is definitely his car, and there is definitely a tall, lanky man leaning up against it.

Tim stays close to the gas station entrance, eyes flickering around the parking lot for other cars, but it’s just him and the stranger out here. 

In the milliseconds when the light shines down on them, Tim can make out more features of the man. He’s wearing a deep purple pinstripe suit and top hat that seems over worn and dirty. Long greasy hair peaks out from under the hat. Tim can’t quite make out the color. 

The light goes off, then flickers back on again and the man is looking right at him. The expression behind his dark eyes reminds Tim of their family dog they had when he was young, the way it looked after it had caught rabies from a fight with a raccoon. Seeing it on a dog had been creepy, seeing it on another human made his entire body freeze up in terror.

As if the man can sense it, he smiles, lips slowly curving up in a grin that takes up half his face. The lights flicker again, glistening off crooked yellow teeth.

The man goes from leaning against the car to standing in one fluid movement. He takes one step toward Tim and Tim’s body moves for him, backing up and gripping the door to the gas station entrance, as if the inside of the store and moody teen cashier will save him from Mr. Crazy eyes over there. 

The man chuckles, in a soft but deep baritone, before turning and walking away from Tim, toward the darkest corner of the parking lot. He's whistling the tune of Mary had a Little Lamb as he goes. Tim waits until he’s a safe distance away before sprinting to his car. 

He gets in and locks the doors immediately, pressing his forehead against the steering wheel to calm himself before driving. When his breath is mostly normal he sits up, turning the key to start up the car. 

He glances out the passenger window first and then behind him, breathing a sigh of relief when he catches no sight of the man. He’s about to put the car in reverse when he hears a light tapping right next to his left ear. 

He snaps his head around to look out the window next to him and screams. The man looking down into his car starts to laugh, jiggling the handle to try and remove the only barrier between them. 

He shifts the car to reverse and slams down on the gas hard enough that the tires screech. The laughing man has to leap away from the car to avoid getting his feet run over. Tim might be imagining it but he thinks he can still hear the man laughing over the sound of the revving engine as he drives away.

He drives home on autopilot, mind still racing from what happened back at the gas station. He just doesn’t understand. Was the man intoxicated? He didn’t move like he was drunk but he might have been on some type of drugs. He could have also wanted to rob Tim. Tim’s car is pretty flashy and Gotham isn’t exactly known for it’s low crime rate. 

The sound of thunder draws him out of his thoughts and he turns his wipers on, realizing it had started raining while he was thinking back on his encounter with the man. He also notices he’s going fifteen over and slows way down, thankful he didn’t pass any cops along the way.

He’s still shaken up when he gets to his house, almost sick with the thought of what would have happened if he hadn’t locked his doors. For the first time since he was very young, he wishes his parents hadn’t gone away for the weekend. 

The rain seems to pour down even harder as he’s making his way to the front door. Tim fumbles with his keys, shivering and cursing when the key doesn’t want to go into the lock smoothly. 

“Hey,” 

Tim yelps, throwing a punch toward the voice on instinct. His fist connects, causing a sharp pain to shoot all the way up his right arm.

“OW WHAT THE-” Jason stumbles back from him, covering his nose with one hand and shooting Tim a watery glare.

“ _ Jason _ ,” Tim’s not sure what emotion is welling up his chest. It starts off as warm and light, before melting away into anger, then it quickly turns into panic when blood starts dripping from between Jason’s fingers.

“I’m so sorry, oh my god, but you can’t just creep around someone’s house like that. You should have texted or called...or like, creeped during daytime hours. I don’t know.” Tim babbles as he finally unlocks the front door. 

Tim grabs Jason by his soaked sleeve and pulls him into the upstairs bathroom. He searches through the closet frantically, grabbing a new roll of toilet paper and practically throwing it at Jason. 

After making sure Jason doesn’t need anything else, Tim sits down on the edge of the tub and watches as Jason cleans himself up. It’s the first good look Tim has been able to get of him and he looks terrible. He’s pale, with dark bags under his eyes, his hair is a mess, and his clothes are muddy and soaked through. Tim wonders how long Jason was standing out there waiting for him to get home. Tim’s about to voice his question when Jason turns toward him, with two wads of toilet paper sticking out of each nostril. 

It starts as a snicker, then it grows into a chuckle, and continues to get worse when Jason gives him a look at screams _ ‘Really? _ ’. Soon Tim is clutching his stomach, laughter and pained wheezes taking turns coming out of each breath.

“It’s not that funny.” Jason takes a peek at himself in the mirror before snorting. “Okay it’s a little funny.” 

When Tim’s laughter finally dies down he slumps against the wall, drained. He’s not sure why his emotions can’t make up their mind but it’s like a switch has been flipped, and now he just wants to go to bed. 

“Are you okay?” Tim can feel Jason’s eyes on him but he keeps his gaze on the tile floor.

“Yeah, it’s just been a rough night,” Tim sighs. “Or week, actually.” Whatever look is in Tim’s eyes when he turns back to Jason makes him swallow audibly, but he hold Tim’s gaze. 

“I’m sorry.” Jason sounds sincere, and it’s incredibly hard to stay mad at him with those puppy eyes at work and the ridiculous wads of toilet paper still in place. He shivers while Tim is debating on accepting his apology. 

“Do you want to take a shower?”

“Oh uh…”

“You don’t have to. You just seem kinda uncomfortable and dirty.”

“Yeah,” Jason scratches the back of his head. “I guess I should have checked the weather before walking here, huh?” 

“Mhm,” Tim drawls. He reaches over to tap on the closet door with his knuckles. “Towels are in here. I’ll go see if I can find something that will fit you.” He looks Jason up and down, wondering if he has something that’ll actually fit him. And then stares because rain has made Jason's t-shirt and jeans look incredibly tight. Jason clearing his throat snaps Tim’s attention back to his face.

  
“Are you going to watch me undress, Timmy?” Jason says lowly, fluttering his lashes at Tim. 

“Nope!” Tim squeaks. “No I’m just gonna-” He shuts the door, rolling his eyes as Jason’s loud laughter follows him down the hallway. 

Tim digs through his dresser, finding a pair of boxers and a baggy pair of sweats for Jason pretty quickly. It takes him longer to find a shirt for Jason, even the shirts big on Tim would probably be uncomfortably tight. He might just have to go without the shirt. Tim pauses at the thought, imagining Jason, sitting in his room, shirtless. He closes the drawer firmly, deciding to give up on his search. 

He sneaks into the bathroom, placing the clothes on the sink for Jason to find. The humidity from the hot water makes the glass on the shower door foggy but Tim can still see Jason’s blurred form. He’s washing his hair, humming an unfamiliar tune.

Tim leaves the room quickly, not wanting to invade Jason’s privacy. He spends the time while he waits on Jason getting dried off and changed in his own pajamas. He sits on his bed, looking around his room self-consciously. It’s neat, thanks to Amelia, but he’s nervous Jason will find something about it he doesn’t like. 

A soft rapping draws his attention back to the door. Jason stands there, wearing the clothes Tim put out for him and holding his dirty clothes in his arms. His nose is now toilet paper free.

“I’ll take those.” Tim jumps up and takes the damp clothes from Jason. Doing so gives him a good look at Jason’s shirtless torso. It’s a very nice view. 

“I’m just gonna wash these for you. I’ll be right back.” He tells Jason’s abs. Maybe he should have looked harder for a shirt after all.

His heart is still out of rhythm even after he starts the washer. 

“Still mad at him,” Tim mumbles to himself. He sighs when it doesn’t do anything to help with the palpitations.

“I’m mad at you.” Tim blurts when he gets back into his room. He’s about to go into a long speech full of righteous anger that he had rehearsed on his way back up the the room, but seeing Jason shirtless again makes his throat close up. Jason doesn’t look up from where he’s sitting at Tim’s desk, flipping through Tim’s portfolio. 

“That’s fair.” He’s looking at a shot Tim’s particularly proud of. He was able to sneak up on a young robin to catch of few shots of it playing in their garden bird bath. “These are really good.”

“Thanks my phone’s camera isn’t the best but it’s-Wait,” He shakes his head. “Don’t try to change the subject, asshole.” Jason laughs but he sits the portfolio back on Tim’s desk and turns his attention to Tim. He leans back in the chair, crossing his arms behind his head.

“Why are you mad at me?”

“Seriously?” Tim sits down heavily on the edge of his bed, not wanting to be the only one standing. 

“It might make you feel better to talk about it.” Jason shrugs. Tim glares.

“I’d like to speak to the Jason that took me on a date and then ignored me for a week, not peer counselor Jason, if you don’t mind.” Jason flushes, seeming uncomfortable for the first time tonight. It doesn’t make Tim’s anger go away but it does help him calm down a little.

“What’s going on with you, Jason?” 

Jason takes a long time to answer. Tim tries to be patient, because he knows whatever it is has to be a big deal, but he can’t help wanting to push it when he’s been out of the loop all week. Instead he picks at the skin next to his nail, it’s starting to scab now. 

“Something happened on Saturday after night I took you home. Something I knew would happen eventually but I just didn’t think it’d be  _ so soon. _ ” He sighs, looking toward the bedroom carpet with furrowed brows. “Did you hear about the breakout at Arkham?”

“It sounds kind of familiar I guess...” Tim says slowly. He has absolutely no idea where this is going.

“And did you hear who broke out of Arkham?”

“No.” Tim frowns. “Jason what does this have to do with anything?” 

“It was the Joker.” Jason spits the name like a curse. Tim stares at him, dread pooling in his stomach. He can tell by the look in Jason's eyes that there's hate for the man that's embedded deep in his core. It's personal. 

“You know him.” He says quietly. 

“I knew him, years ago.” Jason corrects. “He dated my mom, even lived with us for a while. Those were really fucking happy times, let me tell you.” Tim gapes, remembering all the stories he had heard of the Joker’s cruelty. And Jason had slept under the same roof as him...

“And what? Do you think he’ll want to reconnect with your mom or something?” 

“My mom is dead.” Jason says sharply. “I came home one day to find her in a puddle of her own vomit, overdosed on the drugs he got her hooked on. Fuckin scumbag was there, watching TV like nothing was wrong. He stuck a needle in my arm to get me to stop crying. Looking back I think he was trying to kill me.” Jason laughs bitterly.

“ _ Jesus _ Jason, I’m so-”

“Anyway,” Jason cuts in loudly. “I woke up, ran to the police station and told them right where he was hiding out. And now that he's out, I’m sure he hasn’t forgotten for a second about the brat who put him in Arkham, even after all these years.”

Silence settles between them. Jason is lost in his own mind, no doubt remembering that terrible day. Eight years old, Tim suddenly realises. Jason was eight years old when all of this went down. His eyes sting. He takes a breath to calm himself, trying to process everything.  

“So the most insane criminal in Gotham is on the loose and he’s got it in for you?” He eyeballs his trash can across the room. Jason’s looking pretty pale and Tim’s honestly not feeling so hot either. 

“That’s why I was staying away for awhile. The police suggested I lay low but I’m done with that.” There’s a fire in Jason’s eyes that Tim’s not so sure he likes. 

“You’re not going to try to go after him are you?”

“No, but I’m not hiding from him anymore. If he finds me before the police find him, I want him to know I’m not afraid of him.” Tim nods. He understands where Jason is coming from, although he probably wouldn’t be as brave or as reckless about it. Speaking of…

“Wait a minute…” Tim rubs his temples, a stress headache starting to form. “I didn’t see your bike in my driveway. Did you walk here, by yourself, in the middle of the night?” 

“Umm,” Jason starts to grin sheepishly. Tim marches over to him and swats him on the head. 

“Hey!” Jason laughs, grabbing both of Tim’s wrists and tugging him down into his lap.

“You’re an idiot.” Tim scoffs. “You could have called or came by in the morning or something that wasn’t just asking for something bad to happen to you!” 

“Yeah, well nothing bad happened.” Jason rests his head on top of Tim’s. “I wanted to tell you all of this in person, and that I was sorry for making you feel like it was your fault. You wouldn’t believe the lecture I got from Kori yesterday. That woman is scary.”

“Yeah she is,” Tim chuckles. He burrows his face into the crook of Jason’s neck, feeling more relaxed than he has in a long time, despite everything Jason just told him. “So everything is okay with us? I mean we’re still...whatever we were before?”

“I’d like it to be but Tim,” Jason pulls back to look down at him seriously. “I understand if you want to take a step back after-”

“I don’t.” Tim rushes to say. “I’m not going to say I’m not scared or worried, but I still want to be with you.”

“So,” Jason smiles, a light blush highlighting the freckles on his cheeks. “You want to be with me in a relationship of the romantic sort?”

“Yes,” Tim giggles at the goofy way Jason asks the question. “I believe boyfriend is the correct term for it.”

“Boyfriend,” Jason hums. “I like that. And as your boyfriend, I’m allowed to express affection for you, right?”

“Yes,” Tim’s voice cracks but he doesn’t have it in him to be embarrassed. He smiles, a knowing one, as Jason’s eyes flicker down to his lips briefly. 

Jason seems to take the smile as permission, leaning toward Tim until their noses are brushing and pausing there. Tim takes the hint, tilting his head so their lips brush gently. It’s a light touch, as both of them seem to be hesitating but it causes a flare of heat to radiate from Tim’s mouth all the way down to his toes. Wanting more of the feeling, Tim presses his lips back to Jason’s firmer this time, mentally cheering when Jason responds eagerly.

 

The next day, after Jason is gone Tim looks up the Joker’s mug shot, rushing to the bathroom to vomit after recognizing the man from the gas station.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well once again there were scenes I had planned for this chapter but didn't get to. I'm not sure how much of Bruce or Damian I'll be able to fit into this story unfortunately without the chapters being a mile long. But I still really like this chapter and I'm hoping you guys like it as well :) 
> 
> *Also the way my outline looks right, there will be fifteen total chapters so we're getting pretty close to the end here. That could always change of course but I just wanted to let you guys know.

Tim sniffs, trying to blink away the tears threatening to drip down his cheeks. It’s hard, his tear ducts are producing more water than his eyes can blink away. The knife in his hand wobbles, unsteady from his lack of focus. Frustrated, he wipes his eyes on his sleeve. He doesn’t have much left to go, just a few more cuts and he’ll be done.

“Onions fucking suck don’t they?” Jason’s voice startles Tim. He had been too focused on trying to cut the onion in his hand that he hadn’t heard him approach. 

“I thought people were always over exaggerating when they said onions would make you cry.” 

“I thought you were exaggerating when you said you had never cooked before.” Jason laughs, reaching into one of the cabinets and pulling out a loaf of bread. He’s wearing a frilly white apron that says Kill the Chef with two bloody knives on it. Tim doesn’t get it, but Jason had been so excited when he showed it to him that Tim had laughed with him.

Lian’s birthday party was later on this evening and Jason was over borrowing Tim’s kitchen to cook his portion of Lian’s birthday food. They had been baking all morning, or rather Jason had been baking and giving Tim the easiest tasks he could find after learning that Tim had zero cooking experience. 

So far they had made three dozen vanilla cupcakes dyed orange and black, fifty bright green deviled eggs, and now they were making a meatloaf that Jason claimed he could shape into a mummy face. Lian had wanted a Halloween themed birthday even though it was in the middle of May. 

It had been three weeks since Jason and Tim had entered into boyfriend status and three weeks since the last sighting of Joker. While Tim was thankful for his absence, it didn’t make him any less stressed about the whole situation. He checked the news every night, hoping to hear that the police had finally caught him, only be to disappointed when there was nothing to hear. Tim could tell Jason wasn’t handling it very well either from the near constant presence of the bags under his eyes. 

Sometimes they talked about it, when it was getting to Jason more than usual and he needed to let some of it out. He would tell Tim things about his time living with Joker, or ‘John’ as he knew him, that would leave Tim imaging the violent things he’d like to do to the bastard if he ever got the chance. 

Most of the time though, Jason wanted to ignore it. He still took precautions, never going anywhere alone or at night and sometimes he even had a cop car following him around. But he told Tim he didn’t want Joker to mess up his life more than he already had. Tim understood that, but he knew that no matter how much he tried to distract Jason, the thought of Joker was always there in the back of his mind. 

“Put this in your mouth.” Jason’s voice snaps Tim out of his thoughts and he looks up to find the other boy waving a piece of bread in front of his face. 

“What?” Tim frowns, taking the bread cautiously. 

“Put it in your mouth,” Jason repeats, rolling his eyes. “It’ll keep your eyes from stinging so much.” Tim gives him a skeptical look before complying, wincing at the taste of dry bread. 

“Breathe through your mouth,” Jason says, turning back to finish preparing the meatloaf. Tim does as he’s told and returns his focus to the onion, determined to finish and get the bread out of his mouth as soon as possible. 

“All done!” Jason chirps not ten minutes later, pressing the timer on the oven. “And now we wait.”

“Now we wait.” Tim repeats, sighing. He eyeballs the cupcakes sitting on the counter island for probably the billionth time within the past several hours. The first time he had tried to sneak one of them, Jason had swatted his hand, hard. He decides against trying again. 

“What should we do while we wait?” He asks instead. Jason pauses for a moment, thinking, before giving Tim a mischievous smirk. Having seen the look multiple times within the past month and recognizing it for what it is, Tim feels himself start to blush.

While making out wasn’t exactly a new step in their relationship, it still felt that way because of how little opportunities they had to do it. The only time they were alone was when Jason was over at Tim’s house while both Tim’s parents and Amelia were gone. The one time Tim asked about going to Jason’s, Jason grimaced and said his brothers and adoptive father were too protective to would ever let them be alone. 

But today was one of those rare times and Tim was on the exact same page as his boyfriend, so he returns Jason’s smile, taking the other boy by the hand and pulling him to the couch in the living room.

Jason kisses like he's scared of doing the wrong thing. His hesitance usually allows Tim to take the lead and Tim doesn’t mind doing that, _at_ _all_ , it just surprises him. He knows Jason has had more experience than him, even if he doesn’t want to think about it.

It makes for their first few times trying it less than perfect as Tim keeps messing up. Fortunately Jason never seems to care, he just laughs it off whenever their teeth knock against each other or their noses bump. He seems content just letting Tim control the kiss however he wants to. The Idea always causes a burning heat to rise low in his stomach.

Today was no different. Jason lets Tim tug him down onto the couch, propping himself over Tim and following his slow lazy pace. Tim relaxes into the kiss, still tired from all the activity this morning. He loses himself to the feel of Jason’s lips moving against his and his hands tracing gentle patterns on Tim’s hips. He’s so zoned out that he’s surprised whenever Jason suddenly pulls away from the kiss to rest his head in the crook of Tim’s neck.

Tim frowns, nervousness in his lack of skill that he had only just gotten past starting to rise up again. It gets worse when a full minute goes by without Jason saying anything.

“Is everything okay?” Tim asks quietly. 

“Yeah just..” Jason pauses before continuing. “Just going over the review for my Biology quiz on Wednesday.” 

“Wh-What?” Tim asks because _ what _ ? He knew he wasn’t exactly a pro at doing this but he thought he was at least good enough to keep Jason focused on the moment at hand. Jason pulls away from his hiding spot on Tim’s neck to look down at him. His face is flushed and he’s smiling sheepishly. 

“I needed to umm, cool off a minute.” Tim furrows his eyebrows, not getting it until he notices how Jason is lifting his hips carefully to avoid pressing against Tim.

“Oh,” He breathes, the warmth that had been cooling in his lower abdomen returning full force. He quickly starts reviewing math formulas in his head to calm down his overeager body. 

Whatever look crosses his face makes Jason laugh. He shifts over to the side, laying down beside Tim and once again burrowing his face in the space between Tim's neck and shoulder. 

They must fall asleep like that because the next time Tim wakes up is when the timer for the oven goes off. He shifts out of Jason's arms, almost falling to the floor in the process of trying not to wake him. 

He's thankful that the meatloaf hasn't burned itself due to their neglect. It looks delicious and smells even better. He's debating on whether to wake Jason up or to just let him sleep when he hears a loud rap at his door.

Paranoia makes him hesitate before opening the door, checking through the peephole to confirm that it isn't a psychotic drug lord coming to enact his revenge. He lets out a little breath of relief when he sees Kori and Roy standing on the other side of the door. 

“Escort service for Mr. Todd here!” Roy exclaims in a terrible British accent when Tim lets them in. He ruffles Tim’s hair as he walks past him, messing up his already tangled hair. 

“Hi Tim,” Kori smiles at him sweetly and pulls him into a hug. “Thanks for helping Jason out today. It took longer to get everything set up than we thought.” 

“It's not a big deal,” Tim shrugs once she lets him go. Her hugs always left him feeling flustered for some reason. 

“He fell asleep-” Tim goes to gesture toward Jason on the couch and freezes up at the sight that greets him. 

Roy is leaning over Jason’s still sleeping form, lightly running a finger up and down Jason's nose. Tim bites down on the inside of his cheek hard to keep himself from laughing as Jason's face starts to scrunch up. Kori sighs from beside him. 

It's not long before Jason starts trying to swat whatever is disrupting his sleep, eventually waking up by smacking himself right in the nose. He jumps, instantly zeroing in on Roy, who’s laughing giddily beside him. 

Jason rolls onto his feet, tensing up like he's about to pounce Roy any second. Tim tenses as well because he knows how much his parents paid for that coffee table and how uptight they are about their property. 

“Boys…” Kori’s voice is a stern growl that makes everyone else in the room look at her guiltily, even Tim, who wasn't doing anything. 

Jason and Roy manage to load up the truck with minimal bickering. Kori watches them fondly as if their fighting is just a normal thing for two friends to do. But maybe it is. Tim thinks about what would happen if he tried to play fight with Conner, who might beat him up for real or Bart, who would probably cry because he'd misunderstand and think Tim was mad at him. Every friendship is different he supposes. 

Jason pulls him into a quick kiss before they leave. 

“Text me when you make it?” Tim asks, ignoring Roy’s cooing noises from inside the truck. He hears a loud smack and Roy yelping followed by silence. Jason agrees, kissing him a second time before getting in the truck himself. 

Lian’s party is held at one of the nicer parks in uptown Gotham. Tim isn’t at all surprised to find that she’s a popular little girl. Everyone from Tim’s group is there, several kids from her class, Dick, Stephanie who came with Cass....and Bruce Wayne. Tim certainly knows who to spend his afternoon avoiding. 

He makes a beeline for Steph and Cass after he sees that Jason is very occupied setting up a Pumpkin shaped cake that might be larger than three of his heads. An older man overdressed in a black tux is helping him, something he says causes Jason to throw his head back, neck arching as he laughs. 

He pauses by the gift table, trying to find a place to put his present on the already overflowing pile of gifts. He’s just set his present neatly on top of another one when a hand on his shoulder causes him to jump.

“Easy,” Dick laughs, raising his hands in surrender.  He glances over to where Jason is still setting up the cake. “I just wanted to check how things were with...everything.”

“I haven’t seen or heard anything from Joker since the gas station.” Tim sighs. “Are you sure I can’t just tell Jason? I feel like that’s definitely something he should know.” 

“He’s only content with being so cautious and basically ‘hiding with his effing tail tucked’ as he put it, because he thinks he’s the only one in danger. If he finds out Joker is threatening you, he’ll go after him. You and I both know he’s not exactly known for thinking clearly when he gets angry. He’ll get himself killed, Tim.” 

After Tim had realized just who was stalking him at the gas station he knew he needed to tell someone, but Jason had already seemed so upset he wasn't sure how to bring it up to him. So he went to the person he knew he could talk to about anything. 

He felt a little less sure of his decision when Dick looked like he wanted to go kick Joker’s door down himself. He had even said a few cuss words. 

Dick had eventually calmed down and took him straight to the commissioner. Jim was a nice man but very thorough in his job. Tim had felt mentally exhausted by the time they had left his office after going over what happened at the gas station several times. 

Both Dick and the commissioner agreed to keep Jason out of the loop for now, so as not to risk him going off hunting Joker down himself. They also had a patrol car run by Tim’s house three times a day, around the same times they checked on Jason. 

Instead of making him feel better, Tim just added guilt to the bundle of already negative emotions following him around. He desperately wanted to tell Jason, but he trusted Dick and Jim. And if Jason did end up going off and getting himself hurt or worse, Tim would never forgive himself. 

He spends the rest of the party trying to act like nothing's bothering him. It works, only because everyone is distracted with Lian’s birthday activities. He knows without a doubt that he wouldn't be able to fool Stephanie or Jason for one minute if there wasn't so much going on.

****

“You sure it's okay I don't come over tonight?” Jason looks conflicted and it makes Tim smile. They had originally had plans for Jason to come over and probably do nothing else but continue their make out session, but then Lian had proclaimed Jason as her favorite and demanded he watch all the new movies she got for her birthday with her. Tim couldn't blame him for not being able to say no to her sweet, eager face. 

“Yes,” Tim says for the upteenth time. “I'm probably just gonna take a nap anyway.” He feels tired just from being around so many people at once and wants nothing more than to lay in his bed, playing games on his phone and not think about anything. 

“Okay,” Jason leans down to kiss him, soft and sweet before pulling away to rest their foreheads together. “I’ll miss you.” 

“I’ll miss you too.” He smiles, leaning up to kiss Jason one last time.

“Bye, Tim.”

“Goodbye Jason.” 

*****

Tim dreams he's on a Ferris wheel, stuck at the top. He's aware he's in a dream simply by the fact that he's not at all bothered to be stuck there. He feels relaxed, tranquil in a way he never does when he's awake. 

He leans back to look at the night sky and tries to take a deep breath of the fresh night air, only he can't. He can take breaths but for some reason he can't get any air to come in through his mouth, even after he opens it. It's slightly concerning but before he has a chance to dwell on it too much a sound distracts him. 

It's a familiar melody. The sound buzzes loudly in his ear but he can't tell where it's coming from. He searches all over his seat, desperate in a way he can't make sense of, trying to find the source of the music. The pressure is still over his mouth, causing an ache in his lips where they are pressed too firmly against his teeth. 

It's the smell that wakes him. A gust of hot air brushes his face before the scent of rot floods through his nose. Then there's the realization that the tune of  _ Mary Had A Little Lamb _ was actually being hummed right in his ear. He quickly becomes aware of the pressure of a warm body lying in bed with him. 

His eyes fly open, scream clawing its way up his throat when he’s greeted by the very face that has haunted his nightmares so many times. Only this time he knows it's not a nightmare. 

In his dreams he couldn't feel the hand covering his mouth, squeezing so tight his jaw ached. In his dreams he couldn't smell the stench that radiated off the man. In his dreams the man never wore clown makeup, disjointing his features and making him seem even more horrifying.

“Shhh, little lamb.” Joker soothes, his face twisting in false concern. “We don't want to wake mommy and daddy do we?” He raises his free hand so the large pistol he's holding gleams in the moonlight. Tim’s scream dies off so quick he nearly chokes with the effort. 

“There's a good boy,” Joker grins at him, wide and terrible. “Now you're going to get up and follow me out of the house to my car. And we aren't going to make any noise, do you understand?” The last sentence is spoken low, his hand clenching tight enough now that Tim’s bones creak. He nods as much as he's able to, eyes flicking between Joker and the gun in his hand. 

Joker takes his hand as if he's a parent leading a small toddler and marches him down the stairs. Tim looks over to his parents cracked bedroom door as they pass it. He imagines his father bursting through the door with a gun of his own, challenging the man trying to take his son. He imagines his mother, pulling him into her arms to shield him from the threat, shouting obscenities and pressing him close. 

Neither of those things happen. They make it out to the the black sedan waiting for them in his driveway without any interruptions. 

Joker slides in after Tim, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and resting the gun in his lap. Tim chances a glance at their driver and does a double take when he sees who it is.

“D-Dr. Quinzel?” He croaks, his voice not wanting to cooperate with him. She looks like she's been sleeping in her work clothes, her lab coat is wrinkled and her hair is a tangled mess. Her makeup is smeared like she’s been crying. 

She ignores him but can't seem to help looking at him every few seconds. He can't tell what emotion is behind the look in her eyes, but doesn't think he likes it. 

“Ah yes, my old lady. The light in my loins, the fire in my life...or is it the other way around? Whatever!” The Joker waves his gun carelessly as he talks. Tim flinches whenever the barrel is pointed his way. “It's amazing what some people will do to prove their love. Like say, providing them with all the materials to escape an insane asylum right, my little gullible psycho?” 

“Yes Puddin’.” She sounds pleased somehow, despite the fact that he just insulted her. 

Joker then reaches into his suit jacket, pocketing the gun and pulling out a dirty rag and an unmarked bottle. 

“Tell me Little Lamb, do you know what these are for?” He waggles it items in front of Tim’s face, a cruel smirk forming on his lips. Tim nods, having watched enough horror movies to know exactly what those are for. A sense of dread curls tight in his gut.

“Such a smart boy! I can see why little Jay keeps you around.” Joker raps him lightly in the forehead with the bottle. “Now I want you to just take a nice big whiff of the cloth for me. I'd do it myself but I've been known to get a little over eager and break noses when I try it. And I don't want to hurt you just yet.” Tim stares in disbelief as Joker readies the cloth with chloroform and holds it out for him. 

“I've never been known for my patience,” Joker practically snarls at Tim’s hesitation. Tim can't help his flinch back. He could almost get whiplash from how quickly Joker’s emotions are changing. 

He takes the cloth, feeling Joker’s eyes watching him intently as he brings it to his face and takes a deep breath. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! This chapter is going to be a little different but I still hope you like it. It's going to be in Jason's POV! Also there is a short scene where a character vomits in this chapter, just wanted to throw that out there in case it's triggering to some.

Dick is on the ground before he even has a chance to open his mouth. The first punch busts his lip causing blood to well up on his teeth. He doesn’t even lift his hands to try to stop Jason and somehow that makes him even more mad, so he punches him again. This time Dick does reach up to catch his arms. Jason only lets him because he’s feeling pretty good about the new black eye Dick’s sporting. 

“Why?” He pants. He tries to glare down at his brother but it likely comes off as a grimace because, honestly he’s more hurt than angry.

“I was just trying to keep you safe.” His voice comes out muddled because of the busted lip.

“And what about Tim? You didn’t care if he got hurt?”

“I didn’t think-”

“Obviously.” Jason seethes, quickly growing tired of looking at Dick’s broken, pleading face. He gets off Dick and turns back around to face Bruce and Jim. Bruce has a light grip on Jim’s sleeve as if Jim had moved to break up the fight and Bruce had stopped him. 

“Did you know?” Jason watches in disbelief as Bruce opens his mouth and then closes it before he looks away from Jason. 

“Screw all of you,” Jason scoffs, turning and marching up the manor stairs. 

He drops himself on his bed laying on his back and throwing an arm over his eyes. There’s a constant stream of _ ‘What do I do?’  _ playing on repeat in his mind.

Amelia had contacted the police as soon as she noticed Tim was missing from his bed this morning and checked their security cameras to find the video of Tim leaving with Joker. Ever since then, police have pleaded with the public to send in any information they could on their whereabouts. Even Janet and Jack seemed generally worried during their press conference, although Jason wasn’t so sure how much of it was actually an act. 

The only comfort he has is that he knows Tim is still alive for now. Joker wouldn’t kill him until Jason was around to actually see it happen. But he knew Joker didn’t have limits on how much he’d hurt Tim if he felt like it. Jason tries to clench the panic rising up in his chest by thinking about how smart Tim was. He wouldn’t do anything stupid to piss Joker off unnecessarily...hopefully. 

A warm heavy weight settles over him and before a wet tongue starts licking the parts of his face that isn’t covered by his arm. He can’t fight the smile that starts to break out over his face as the panic finally starts to dissipate. He moves his arm and finds sad brown eyes blinking back at him.

“Hey pretty girl,” He reaches up to scratch at the spot behind Ava’s ear that he knows she loves. She leans into but continues to regard him with an unhappy expression. He has no doubt that she can tell how upset he is. 

“I would have told you.” The voice startles him and Jason looks over to his bedroom door and finds Damian standing there looking at him. 

He stays by the door even after Jason has noticed him, so Jason waves him over. Damian hesitates for a second before sitting on the very edge of the bed stiffly. Jason sighs, knowing this was Dami’s equivalent of a bear hug from Dick. He had grown up with his mother and grandfather who were...not the most loving of individuals. 

“I know you would’ve,” Jason bumps his knee against Damian’s hip. “That’s why you’re my favorite.” Damian doesn’t respond but Jason can see a small smirk appear on his face. 

They sit in silence for the next few minutes. Jason can tell Damian has something to say but knows if he pushes it Damian is likely to lose his nerve to say it. He pets Ava lazily while he waits, her warm pressure on his chest comforting him. Even though he’s expecting Damian to say something he’s still startled when he turns toward him with a fierce expression.

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid,” He commands. 

“I can’t do that Dami.” Jason sighs. “Joker is going to want me to come to where he’s keeping Tim at some point. He’ll want to put on a show for me.”

“Then don’t go. Drake can’t be worth all that trouble. He can’t even talk to father without fainting.”

“Damian!” Jason scolds. “Of course he’s worth it. That’s why Joker chose him, because he knew there was no way I wouldn’t come for him.” 

Damian’s cheeks go red with frustration and he turns his glare toward his lap. Jason wants to offer words of comfort to him, but he doesn’t have any. 

When he heads back down the manor stairs Dick, Bruce, and Jim are sitting in the kitchen and appear to be in an intense conversation. They all stop talking as soon as they notice Jason approaching and he rolls his eyes at them to let them know how unsmooth they are. He takes satisfaction in knowing Dick has to use an ice pack on his eye.

“Where are you going?” Bruce calls after him as he bypasses them on his way out. 

“To look for clues on where Tim could be.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea right now, Jason.” Jim says, starting to stand up to come over to him. 

“Well I don’t think it was a good idea to keep secrets about a clown-dressed psycho going after my boyfriend but we still did that, didn’t we?” Jason slams the door in their faces. He feels a little guilty for sassing Jim, he’s a good man, but he’s still on Jason’s shit list.

Amelia is waiting for him when he gets to Tim’s house, standing on the Drake’s porch looking pale and worn out. 

“Have you heard anything?” Jason asks as soon as he gets off his motorcycle. 

“No,” Amelia sighs. “The police say Joker should contact us with his demands within the next twenty-four hours now that Timothy’s disappearance has been made known to public.”

“It’s not like he’s gonna be asking for a ransom.” Jason scoffs. He knows they’re just following protocol but he’d figured they’d be a little more proactive than this. 

“Speaking of, I’m surprised they don’t have you confined to your home, or at least with an escort.” 

“I think they were about to, but I walked out on them.” Jason shrugs. “I’m no help to Tim if I’m locked in my room.”

“You’re no help to Tim if you’re dead, either.” She raises a stern brow at him, reminding him so much of Alfred that he wonders briefly if they’re related. Thankfully she hasn’t worked her way up into a full scold yet and turns to lead him into the house.

They get to Tim’s room and stand in the doorway for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts. Jason’s overcome with a wave of sadness looking into Tim’s uncharacteristically neat room. Just another thing he did to please a couple of people that didn’t deserve his efforts. He knows Tim is naturally a slob, he’s seen his locker and the way he eats. Right now his bed is only messy because they police had likely not wanted Amelia to tamper with anything. 

“I don’t think there’s anything in here to find. The police didn’t find anything in their search.”

“They wouldn’t have found anything if Joker only wanted me to find it.” She watches him for a moment with an unreadable expression before replying.

“Well I’ll leave you to it then.” She nods at him before exiting the room.

Jason scans the room, sighing when nothing immediately stands out to him. He had been partially bluffing when he told Amelia that Joker would have left him some sort of clue. He’s not really the most predictable person Jason has come across. But he has to feel like he’s doing something to help find Tim or he’ll go crazy.

He starts near Tim’s bed, throwing the sheets around in order to find something, then he moves to his closet, finding nothing useful there other than an old Death Star Lego kit that Jason will definitely tease him about if- _ when _ Tim comes back. 

He scours the rest of Tim’s room finally giving up and sliding to the floor with his back resting against the wall. The panicked matra starts circling it’s way about his head again with enough force to send stabbing pains through his temples. He drops his head back against the wall and winces when it only causes the stabbing pain to worsen. 

Deciding he has better things to do than to sit around and mope, he places a hand on the top of Tim’s nightstand to help pull himself up. He’s puzzled when his hand touches a softer material than the wood he was expecting. When he stands up he looks down to see what it is, smiling softly when he finds the photo of him and Tim holding hands on their first date.

He still found it weird that Kori and Roy never mentioned taking the picture. He figured they would have at least teased him about it or something. He stares at the picture, frowning. If Jason had borrowed Roy’s truck then how would they have even made it to the drive in. He also doesn’t remember Roy ever having a polaroid camera, unless it was Lian’s. 

He flips it over just out of curiosity and feels his heart drop down to floor when he sees the note on the back. 

“-son...Jason!” Amelia’s voice is muddled through the roaring in his in his ears. Even when he registers her words it still takes him a moment before he turns toward her. She’s managed to come to stand beside him without him even being aware of it. 

“He’s been following Tim since he escaped Arkham.”

“What?” Amelia takes the picture from him to observe it. “Tim said that your friends took this photo.”

“I thought so too. But this note on the back is a warning. I bet he thought I’d notice sooner and wanted to scare me.” 

“Why would he give it to Tim then?”

“A message of his intent I guess.” Jason sighs, regret and guilt washing over him in waves. There was no way any of this wasn’t his fault. He needed to find Tim as soon as possible. “I have to go tell Jim about this.” Amelia nods.

“I want Timothy to be found safe as soon as possible, but don’t do anything that’s going to risk your safety as well Jason.”

“I won’t.” He lies. 

He meets Bruce and Dick at Jim’s office after calling B to tell him he had something he needed to show them. He’s been to the office enough times to know exactly where it’s at in the large building. When he opens the door he finds all of them sitting down around Jim’s desk with an old worn map laying on top of the table. They must be plotting out search areas. 

“Jason-” Dick begins but stops when Jason shoves his middle finger right up in his face. He ignores Bruce entirely and focuses his attention on Jim.

“I found a picture Joker took of us in Tim’s bedroom.” He drops the photo in front of Jim with his free hand, his other one is still flipping Dick off. 

Jim frowns down at it, eventually sighing and taking his glasses off to rub at his eyes. 

“I don’t know why I’m even surprised at the levels he’ll go to at this point.” He shakes his head. “Why didn’t Tim tell anyone about this?”

“He told me he thought Roy and Kori followed us and took the picture. I didn’t think anything about it.” Jason grimances. His arm starts to cramp up and he drops it down to his side, knowing flipping Dick off wasn’t worth the discomfort. Almost instantly he feels a hand drop on that shoulder as Bruce shifts closer to him. 

“None of this is your fault, Jason.”  He says. 

“You know that’s a lie, B.” Jason scoffs. He moves to stand, having done what he came here to do and not willing to sit around doing nothing while Tim spends more and more time with Joker. 

“Let me know if anything new happens.”

Dick catches him just before he gets to his motorcycle, gripping his arm and tugging him harshly around to face him.

“Okay you must seriously like the feeling of being punched in the face.” Jason snarls, shoving him backward. 

“Why are you mad at just me?” Dick snarls right back, moving back forward until he’s in Jason’s face. “I wasn’t the only one who decided not to tell you. Jim, Bruce, and Tim were all in on this too.” 

“I know, but Jim is the commissioner  so this type of stuff is his job.” Jason continues, lifting a finger to count off each person as he goes. “Bruce gets constipated if he isn’t keeping at least five secrets a day, and Tim looks up to you. Of course he’s going to go along with whatever you say. But you,” Jason finishes counting and jabs him in the chest. “You said when I first moved in with you guys years ago that we’re brothers now and I could trust you, remember?”

“I remember telling you that you could trust me to take care of you.  _ Which is exactly what I was doing! _ ”

“Getting my boyfriend kidnapped because you thought I wouldn’t be able to handle it isn’t taking care of me.” Jason shoves away from him, unsure of why he feels disappointed when Dick doesn’t push back this time. “Just stop, okay? We need to focus on finding Tim before Joker decides he’d rather Tim be dead before I find them.” Jason turns his face on Dick’s crumpled expression, but he can still feel the weight of his stare until Jason turns at the corner traffic light and is out of Dick’s line of sight. 

There’s a photo taped on the manor’s front door when Jason gets back home. He stares at it with dread before reaching out and yanking it open. A strangled sound flies past his lips when he registers who is the subject of the photo.

Tim is slumped over in a chair. He’s limp, the only things holding him upright are the ropes that have him tied to the chair. His head sags against his shoulder. He’s either unconscious or- Jason shakes his head as if he can physically will that thought away. Joker wouldn’t have made the effort to tie him up if he was dead. 

Jason takes a shuddering breath, trying to calm himself before examining the picture further to try and find clues to where Tim might be being held. He knows this was only meant in part to trip him up but he also knows Joker wants Jason to find them. It’s all a big game to him. 

Tim’s obviously in some sort of a house. His chair is sitting in the middle of what looks to be a living room.  There’s an ugly couch behind him and a bookshelf with missing shelves sitting beside that. The carpet is beige with a brown stain in the area right in front of Tim’s feet. Jason finds himself drawn to it, pieces of his memories slowly clicking together to repair a memory that had been blocked for years until a sudden, sickeningly vivid image of his mother lying on that same floor, face up with puke puddled up under her. 

He gags, turning barely fast enough to empty his stomach on the lawn instead of the porch. He has time to think  _ ‘Alfred is going to kill me’ _ , before another wave of nausea overcomes him and he heaves again. 

“Jason?” Jason looks up to find Damian standing in the doorway, scrunching his face in disgust at the sight of Jason throwing up.

“Where’s Alfred?” Jason gasps, when the gagging has finally stopped.

“He’s out helping organize the search party.”

“Did anyone come by today?”

“Just Dr. Quinzel. She said she wanted to see how you were doing with everything, but she left after I told her you were out.” Jason feels like he would throw up again if his stomach had anything left to give. Whatever expression Jason makes causes Damian face to twist with concern before his eyes zero in on the picture in Jason’s hand. 

“What’s this?” He takes the picture from Jason before he can get an answer from him. Damian’s sharp inhale snaps Jason out of the waves of sickness that had overcome him. He turns and sprints into the mansion, heading straight for the box hidden at the top of his closet. He reaches in and pulls out the Glock he bought in secret as soon as he turned eighteen, shoving that and an extra box of ammo in his jacket pocket before turning and rushing back down the stairs. He pauses at the sight of Damian waiting for him at the bottom, gripping the photo hard enough to crush in his hand

“Take me with you.” Damian demands, eyes burning. “Take me with you or I’ll call father right now and tell him where you’re headed.”

“Damian-”

“No!” Damian cuts him off. “If you’re stupid enough to go there yourself, then you need someone to back you up.” 

Jason stares at him for a moment, trying to think of some way to convince him to stay but he knows Damian. And when Damian sets his mind on something there is no going back. He finally sighs and sees Damian’s eyes light up with hope. 

“Okay. But if we take the bike there won’t be any room for Tim. Can you go get the keys to B’s Lamborghini? I don’t think he’ll miss it tonight.” Damian nods eagerly and turns in the other direction. Jason waits until he’s sure Damian is far enough away from him before booking it out the front door. 

He makes it to where his motorcycle is parked out front before he hears Damian screeching from just outside the manor. He shoves his helmet on over his head and takes off before Damian can make it to him.

He can still hear Damian’s shouts of, “JASON,” over the roar of the engine until he turns onto the street. 

He drives into the poorest section of Gotham, swerving past all the potholes and avoiding all the corners where he knows he’ll likely get mugged because he knows these streets like the back of his hand. 

He pulls up to an old yellow house at the end of one of the streets that is unpleasantly familiar. It looks worn down, with moss growing on the sides and part of the roof caved in toward the back. He remembers playing under the shade of the large oak in the front. But now it looks like a good wind would knock it right over. 

He should have guessed Joker would force him back to the place where his worst memories took place, just for the theatrics of it all. Jason double checks that the gun is in his pocket before taking a deep breath and heading into his childhood home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd you guys think? :) Also I'm sorry for the lack of Tim here but I really wanted to write Jason's POV at least once and explore his relationship with his brothers a bit and thought this would be the perfect time to do it. Dami could also make an appearance and we got to see a little of Ava this way too <33


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So this chapter was a struggle and I honestly wasn't sure if I'd be able to finish it on time but here we are!  
> TW for this chapter: Choking, Panic Attacks, and some violence but I kept it around the T rating as always

The first thing Tim notices when he regains consciousness is his pounding headache, made worse even by the soft tune of Mary Had A Little Lamb playing in the background. Then he notices that he’s blindfolded and tied to a chair, which is infinitely more concerning. He holds as still as possible, trying to listen for any sign of Joker or Dr. Quinzel. There’s nothing, except for the sound of the lullaby and his much too loud breathing that he can’t seem to get under control. 

He waits nearly a full minute before deciding that it’s safe enough to try to escape the ropes. He wiggles around, twisting his wrists and straining against the bindings. All the movement causes the chair to tip off balance and his heart drops as he begins his fall, only to be jerked to a stop right away.

His heart hammers when he feels cold hands touch his scalp as they locate the tie on the blindfold. He knows before the cloth even falls away that it’s Joker, just from the smell. Sure enough, when his eyes adjust to the light he can see Joker squatting in front of him. He’s grinning, which is never a good sign.  

“Are you not comfortable, Little Lamb?” He lifts his hand so Tim can see the object he’s holding. It’s a long, jagged dagger already stained with someone’s blood. “I could cut those for you, if you’d like.” Tim looks between the dagger and the eager gleam in Joker’s eyes before making up his mind. He shakes his head, slowly but in a clear ‘No thanks’. 

Joker’s smile drops so fast it looks as if he switched faces. Now he looks at Tim with such a rage that Tim almost regrets not agreeing to Joker getting closer to him with that knife. He watches warily as Joker paces around his chair. 

It’s a slow relaxed gait that succeeds in unnerving Tim even more than he already is. He paces around Tim’s chair three times before he stops behind Tim, just out of his eyesight. Tim waits, growing tenser with each passing second as the Joker stands silently behind him. He looks around, trying to ignore the prickle of Joker’s gaze on the back of his neck as he takes in his surroundings. 

He’s in a small house, that much is obvious. It looks as if no one has lived here in a very long time. The windows are boarded up and all the furniture is either covered in dust or broken. He’s surprised he’s not in some abandoned warehouse in the middle of nowhere. Maybe Joker isn’t very worried about being discreet. 

Joker moves suddenly, grabbing Tim’s hair and yanking his head back. Tim flinches, then freezes when he feels the cool blade against his cheek, making an involuntary noise of fear in his throat. 

“Maybe I should just cut you anyway,” Tim shudders as Joker’s hot breath brushes across his face. “Carve you into a pretty present for when Jason gets here.” Tim’s eyes widen. 

Of course he’s coming here to try and save Tim, even knowing it likely won’t end well. He’s too-...many different adjectives come to Tim’s mind. Brave, kind, and reckless being in the top three. 

Tim grimaces as the knife starts to cut into his skin, only stopping when the sound of a motorcycle engine comes to a stop right outside the house. Joker springs away from him with a delighted laugh. 

“Oh goodie! The man of the hour is finally here!” He turns to look somewhere behind Tim. “HARLEY! Bring Timmy back to one of the bedrooms. We wouldn’t want to ruin the suspense for our little Jaybird, now would we?” 

There’s a giggle and the click of heels before he’s being dragged backward. It’s not a smooth glide. Harley grunts as she yanks him across the floor, down a hallway and into a room. The music is coming from in here so as soon as Harley shuts the door that’s the only thing he can hear. 

Knowing Jason is right there and confronting Joker alone causes something that was inevitable to happen for awhile now. Tim starts to have a panic attack.

He’s been trembling slightly since he first woke up, even worse now, but the rapid inhalations present a new problem. The gag starts to slip further into his mouth and down his throat, first gagging then choking him. He tries to stop it, to calm himself but the incapability to breathe properly sends him into a further panic. 

Then Harley is there, ripping the gag out of his mouth and brushing sweaty hair away from his face. He takes in deep breaths, trying to clear his head of the dizziness that has overcome him. A brief flash of a memory comes to him. Of Dr. Quinzel guiding him through breathing exercises, her kind, concerned face conflicting  with the crazed, eerily happy one looking at him right now. 

“Shh shh,” She’s saying as she keeps petting him. “He’s not going to hurt him. Just scare him a little, teach him a lesson.”

“You can't actually believe that,” Tim pants, still trying to get his breath back. 

Harley’s face closes off and she backs away from him, turning to look at the closed door. Tim strains to hear any sign of what's going on out there. He thinks maybe he can hear raised voices sometimes but it might just be the music. He has to get out there. 

He tests his bindings again, trying not to draw Harley’s attention back toward him. He realizes to his relief that the ropes have more slack in them now. The tension and shaking in his body during the panic attack must have stretched them out. He just has to keep Harley distracted while he finds a way to get them loose enough for him to slip out of. 

He looks around the room they’re in. The walls are covered in sloppy drawings with stick figures riding dinosaurs or standing proud with a cape attached their back, there are legos sprawled on the floor, and power rangers decorating the bed sheets. A child’s room, covered in dust like the rest of the house. 

“Where are we?” Tim asks, shifting his ankles and wrists in tiny increments against the rope. 

“Joker’s old hideout before your boy ratted on him.” 

“You mean this is Jason’s old house? Where his mom…”Tim swallows, looking back to the drawings on the wall. He notices one of a stick figure woman with blond hair hugging a smaller stick figure and his heart clenches. 

“Yup,” Harley hops up on the dresser next to the door, inspecting her nails. Tim struggles a little harder while she isn’t looking. “One of his men bought it and kept it untouched for him while he was in jail. My puddin’ has a thing to theatrics.” Tim fights back a gag at her dreamy sigh that follows. 

“What happened to you?” Tim asks. “I mean, just a few months ago you were-were different.” He had been about to say she seemed sane but he felt like that wouldn't go over well. 

“I was assigned to Arkham Asylum to work with the patients there, since the last Psychiatrist committed suicide. I met Joker and he was just so handsome, so charming.” She grins slowly as her eyes glaze over, as if she's reliving the memory again. “He didn't belong in a place like that.”

“Dr. Quinzel-”

“It's Harley now.”

“You realize he was just using you to escape right?” Tim asks, trying to get her to see at least some reason. He knows he failed when she glares at him, furious.

“No,” She growls. “He knows I'm the only one who can really understand him. He loves me.” 

Before he can think of anything else to say to that, he hears a shout followed by what sounds like someone crashing into something. 

“Dr. Quinzel-”

“ _ Harley _ ,”

“Okay Harley, you need to let me go. Joker is going to kill him and I know you don’t want that to happen so just help me. I won’t tell anyone about you being here. Please.” Harley looks over at him, hesitating, only to shake her head after a few moments.

“Why?” He cries.

“Because I love him!”

There’s a gunshot followed instantly by Joker’s laughter and Tim is done sitting around. The ropes have loosened enough by now that when he yanks on them he gets free. Harley stands as he does, providing an obstacle between him and the door. 

He tries to jump on the bed to get around her but she grabs his arm and yanks, sending him crashing into the nightstand. His ribs flare in pain as he lands on his stomach on top of the now broken nightstand. Something crashes onto the floor in front of him and he looks up to see a black polaroid camera. It’s the only thing in the room that isn’t covered by dust and Tim has no doubt that it’s what was used to capture the photos Joker took of them.

Anger fills him and he’s reaching for it even as Harley grips his shoulder to flip him onto his back. He keeps a hold on it as he turns to face her, readying it with practiced fingers.. She grins, a feral look without sanity as she clasps her hands together in front of her, prepared to bring them down on his head. And that’s the photo he snaps. 

The flash has her crying out, shocking her enough that he can crawl out from under her. She recovers quickly though, screaming with rage as she launches herself back at him. He kicks out blindly and manages to strike her in the chest. She flies back into the dresser, hitting her head on the corner and falling limp. Tim spares her a regretful glance, as he runs past her. He doesn’t have time for much else because he’s still panicking over the gunshot he heard earlier. 

He finds Joker and Jason  in the remains of the now destroyed livingroom. Joker has Jason pressed up against the wall using some sort of small black device in his hand. The instant relief of seeing Jason still alive is replaced by fear when he notices the pained expression as his body contorts from the shocks of what Tim now realizes is a taser. 

He raises the camera, still in his hand from earlier and throws it at Joker as hard as he can. His aim is true, and Tim hears the satisfying clunk of the plastic hitting Joker’s skull. Joker lets off of the taser, letting Jason crumble to the floor as he slowly turns toward Tim. 

Tim swallows, backing up into the kitchen and searching frantically for a new weapon as Joker advances on him. He notices a glock lying abandoned on the floor, but it’s too late. He’s barely started to move for it when Joker reaches him, tossing the taser away to twist both hands in Tim’s hair. Tim can’t stop the gasp of pain he lets out when Joker tugs him harshly forward and up, so he has to stand on his tiptoes with their faces only centimeters apart. 

“That wasn’t very nice, Little Lamb.” His voice is a deadly whisper. He doesn’t give Tim time to react before he’s slamming his head backward. Tim’s head hits the metal fridge door hard enough for spots to appear in his vision. He’s too stunned to resist when Joker pulls him forward to repeat the action. By the third time he can’t hear whatever words are coming out of Joker’s mouth but watches as he laughs and then lets Tim fall to the floor. 

He follows Tim down, straddling him and wrapping his hands around his throat. Tim’s too dizzy to do much else than weakly shove at Joker. His eyes roll around wildly, trying to find something to help, and land on Jason. He’s struggling to crawl to them, limbs shaking like he hasn’t recovered from being shocked just yet. 

The gun is lying just out of reach between them. Tim reaches for it anyway, his fingertips pressing up against the cold metal before pushing it the tiniest bit closer to Jason. Tim tries to stay focused but the pressure in his head from not being able to breathe is excruciating and his vision is quickly flooding with darkness. Jason’s fingers closing around the handle of the gun is the last thing he sees before his eyes start to roll back into his head. 

Then there’s chaos. Multiple muffled voices, screaming bring Tim back to full consciousness. There are hands holding him and he flails, trying to get away, before a familiar voice shushes him. 

“Jason?” He croaks, opening his eyes. But Jason isn’t paying attention to him, he’s staring off to their right with wide, shocked eyes. Tim turns his head out of curiosity and ends up mirroring Jason’s expression. 

Bruce Wayne himself has Joker pinned up against the wall, punching him repeatedly. Joker’s face is a bloodied mess and he moves like a ragdoll with every hit.  Dick stands off to the side, watching with a conflicted expression as if he’s not sure whether to help Bruce or stop him. A young boy stands behind him, grinning maliciously. As Tim turns back to Jason to get some sort of idea as to what’s going on, he notices the gun in the exact same place it was when he fell unconscious. 

“My family came.” Jason’s voice is a little breathless as he continues to watch the beating. Tim knows he should be worried about the violence that’s happening a few feet away but he’s mostly just thankful they’re alive. Which is why it takes a moment for what Jason said to sink in.

“Wait a minute, your fam-” Then several officers barge through the door, guns raised and ordering everybody to get down. Jason moves like he’s about to intervene but the Commissioner Gordon comes in and instantly has the respect and attention of everyone in the room. 

Later, after Joker and Harley have already left in a police escorted ambulance, Tim sits beside Jason on the back of a second ambulance as they wait for Bruce to finish speaking with Gordon. He had insisted on riding with them to the hospital. Dick had called Tim’s parents while him and Jason were being looked over by the paramedics to let them know Tim was okay. He was definitely not looking forward to seeing them when they met up at the hospital. 

He tenses when something touches his hand only to flush a moment later when he realizes that it’s only Jason reaching out to him. He slides his fingers between Jason’s, ignoring the slight clammyness of both of their skin in favor of focusing how comforting Jason’s presence is beside him. He leans to press his shoulder up against Jason’s and lets out a shaky sigh. 

“I’m sorry,” Jason says quietly. Tim frowns, turning his head to blink up at Jason in confusion. 

“For what?” He asks, frustrated by the very obvious way Jason is avoiding his eyes.

“It’s my fault that you-”

“Stop _. _ ”

“But-”

“No Jason,” Tim finally loses his patience and places his finger under Jason’s chin to force him to look up at him. “The only person at fault for what happened today is Joker, and maybe Harley a little bit for helping him.” He stares into Jason’s eyes, willing him to believe his words. “I know you’re going through a lot of negative emotions right now, but don’t add unnecessary guilt to the mix.” 

Jason stares at him for a long time before finally relenting with a nod. “Are you okay though?” 

“Neither of us are.” Tim doesn’t bother trying to sugar coat anything when he’s still having trouble getting his hands to stop shaking. “But we’re going to be.” He manages to keep his voice steady as he tries to find comfort in his own words. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't mean enough to leave you guys with another cliff hanger here so you're welcome ;) I wrote like four different endings for this chapter and wasn't really happy with any of them, but this was the one I liked the most so hopefully it worked for you readers as well. As always your comments and kudos are much appreciated!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delayed wait with this one, Sept and Oct have been super busy months for me, but hopefully I'll have more time to write soon :) I actually like the way this chapter turned out, I feel like Tim has gone through some character growth since the story started, so I hope you all enjoy it too! <33

The doctor gives Tim a cream for the rope burns on his wrist and orders his parents to wake him every two hours tonight because he has a mild concussion. He then leaves Tim and his parents in tense silence in order to move on to his next patient. It’s all very anticlimactic in Tim’s opinion.

It’s the first time since getting to the hospital that he’s been alone with his parents and he is at a complete loss for what to say. When he finally gathers the courage to look over at them, they’re just staring. At him, or rather, at his neck. He must have bruises, he realizes after a moment, from when Joker choked him.

“Can-” His voice cracks and he has to clear it before speaking again. “Can we go home now?” 

It snaps his parents out of whatever daze they had succumbed to. His mom moves almost robotically as she gathers her purse. His father reaches out to stabilize her when she stands, as if she has received second hand injuries from Tim. Tim stands on his own, blinking away the wave of dizziness that overcomes him as he gets up. 

He’s surprised to see Jason already standing outside the hospital entrance, completely surrounded by people. Roy, Kori, Lian, Dr. Gordon, Bruce, Dick, the young boy from before, and an older man are all there. They’re all huddled as close to him as they can get, some with teary eyes, others with stern expressions, and some just plain ecstatic. 

He has to close his eyes when another wave of dizziness hits him, causing him to accidentally stumble into his dad. 

“Jesus,” His dad says, reaching out to steady him. “You’d think they’d at least keep him overnight.” Tim moves back from him to lean against the hospital’s brick wall. 

“Gotham General is always overcrowded. They wouldn’t keep him unless they absolutely had to.” His mom sniffs. She then turns to address Tim. “We’re going to go get the car and pull it around. Why don’t you wait here for us okay, sweetie?”

Part of Tim is tempted to ask one of them to stay with him when she first announces that they’re leaving him, but the feeling quickly goes away when he hears the blank way his mother says the term of endearment. He instead nods and stays silent as his parents walk away from him. 

He tries to avoid watching Jason interact with his family and friends as he waits. He’s not even that close to them, yet feels like he’s intruding on their moment. He sighs and leans further into the wall, hoping he isn’t spotted. 

“Tim!” 

The voice turns Tim’s attention toward the parking lot where a car is pulling up, partially on top of the curb. Stephanie is leaning out the passenger-side window, waving at him. She opens the door before the car comes to a complete stop, leaping out with cheerleader grace and sprinting toward him. 

Tim’s breath is forced out of his lungs in a grunt when Stephanie slams into him. He hugs her back just as hard, not caring at all if it’s weird that he buries his nose in her hair when he breathes in again. 

“You scared me.” She sniffs into his shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” He says, hugging her tighter. 

“Don’t do it again.”

“Don’t get kidnapped by a crazed crime lord who wants to kill me? Gladly.” He laughs. He looks up when he hears footsteps approaching them.

Bart and Conner are standing not too far away from them, both looking unsure of themselves. Conner is scowling as usual, but it’s a scowl Tim has learned to differentiate from his normal irritated-at-life scowl. No, this one is his worried-about his-friend scowl. Bart is shifting his weight and wringing his hands together in quick tiny increments so it looks like his entire body is vibrating.

He smiles at them, which Bart seems to take as an invitation that he is allowed to join in on the hug. Tim barely manages to shift his body so Steph is on his left side when Bart comes barreling into his right. 

“We looked everywhere for you!” Bart exclaims. Tim feels Bart’s hands form fists in the fabric of his shirt. 

“You did?” 

“Yeah, there was a huge search party. Everyone from group came out to look for you, even Conner.” Tim doesn’t miss the angry tone behind Bart’s words, and the way Conner glares at Bart’s back after.

“Did you two seriously get into a fight in the time that I was gone?” He sighs. Stephanie pulls back from him then, wiping her face so she can give a stern look to the two boys. 

“Conner mentioned that it was unlikely that they’d find you alive, then Bart kicked him in the shin, and I had to break the two of them up before it turned into a full on fist fight. Then they both started crying. It was a mess.” She sighs.

“I was just being realistic!”   Conner says defensively. 

Bart pulls away from Tim to face Conner. “You were being insensitive!” 

“It doesn’t matter,” Tim interjects before things escalate. “The fact that you guys went looking for me means a lot, even if you thought you’d find a corpse.” He smiles at Conner as he says the last part, hoping to ease the pinched expression the other boy is wearing.  

Two sharp beeps inform Tim that his parents have pulled up and are very much ready to leave, so he says goodbye to his friends, making sure to pull Conner into a hug as he goes. He glances back at Jason one last time before they drive off, surprised to find Jason already looking back at him.  He waves, but the car pulls off before he has time to see if Jason waves back.

***

Amelia is in the doorway waiting for Tim as soon as they get home, pulling him into what Tim decides is now a record breaking amount of hugs he’s received in the same twenty-four hours.

“Joker is lucky you’re okay. I would have killed him otherwise.” She says when she pulls back to look him over. Tim watches her eyes get steely as she speaks and doesn’t doubt her one bit. 

***

Dinner is served at the same time as usual. The only difference in their routine this time is that no one attempts to make conversation about the weather. Tim isn’t sure if he’s grateful or disappointed in the lack of reaction from his parents. 

“I scheduled a meeting with your guidance counselor on our way to the car.” His mom says, just as he’s forcing the last bites of his food down. 

“Why?” 

“Well you can’t fall behind on your school work even though-”

“I’m not going back to school.” Tim cuts her off, speaking loudly over her voice.

“What?” His father asks sharply. 

“I’m not going back to school this year,” He repeats slowly. “There’s only a month left of my senior year and I had enough credits before the end of last year to get my diploma. There’s just no point in going back.”

“Your GPA will drop if you fail the classes you’re in now, just finish out the school year.” His mom waves her hand dismissively. 

“No.” Tim glares at her. “The only reason I was working so hard before was to try to get your approval, and since I don’t need or want that anymore, I’m not going to waste my time doing things I hate just because you want me to. My GPA will still be high enough to get into Gotham U, if I even want to go to college.” His mother’s fork clatters onto her plate. 

“Tim, we understand that you just went through a rather traumatizing experience but-”

“No, I don’t think you do understand,” Tim cuts his father off this time, voice turning sharp and cold. “Because you haven’t even asked. Were you even upset that I was gone, or were you just happy to get more time in the media spotlight for a day? Don’t answer that. I already know my value to you is only worth how successful I’ll be.” He stands up.

“I’ve been reading books on healthy and unhealthy coping techniques for my group. One of the unhealthy ones is trying to control others because you’re unhappy with your own life. I’ll mark the chapter and leave it on the coffee table. I think you guys should take a look at that one.” 

Tim sighs when he finally gets to his room, thankful his hands are only slightly sweaty when, months ago, that conversation would have ended in a more dramatic reaction. Now though, after everything that had happened this year, it simply felt like another step forward.

Tim wakes up to the sound of his window being open. He’s up and halfway out of his bed when Jason’s head pops through the window. He stares incredulously as Jason quite ungracefully falls through the opening, landing in a heap on the floor. It’s silent for a moment as they stare at each other, before Tim speaks.

“Jason, what the fuck?” He whispers.

“Umm, hey I was just-Wait,” Jason grins. “Did you just drop the f-bomb?” 

“I know how to cuss when the timing is appropriate,” Tim rolls his eyes. “Which I think is now, since my boyfriend decided to crawl through my window instead of just using the front door. How did you get up here anyway? I’m on the second floor.”

“I didn’t think your parents would let me in, and there's a tree.” Jason shrugs, like what he did wasn't unusual or anything. 

“And you thought that would be a good idea after Joker essentially did the same thing?” Tim raises his brows. 

“He was in your room?” 

“In my bed, yeah.” Just saying it makes Tim grimace.

“I should have just shot him,” Jason scoffs. He finally stands and comes to sit on the bed next to Tim. Tim moves over to make room for him, relaxing back against the wall and draping the covers over both of their laps.

“I heard a gunshot whenever I was in the bedroom with Harley,” Or at least, he thinks he did. His memories of that night are fractured, coming back to him at random moments, some with almost painful clarity and others disorienting and blurry. 

“You probably heard when he knocked it out of my hands after I just stood there, pointing it at him without firing, like an idiot. It shot off right after it landed and hit the fridge.” Jason sighs, pulling the blankets up higher until only his head is peeking over it. 

“Why didn’t you shoot him?” Tim is careful to keep his voice soft and neutral. He doesn’t want Jason to think he’s being accusing, but he’s curious. 

“I don’t really know,” The blankets rise and fall with Jason’s shrug. “I got there and I was so angry. I knew he was planning on killing us, knew he was better off dead, but I just couldn’t do it. Like in my head I was telling myself to just pull the damn trigger, but my finger wouldn’t move.”

“I froze up too,” Tim says. “When I woke up next to him and when I woke up again in the house. I didn’t even protest or try to struggle until after I knew you were there.” He reaches for Jason’s hand under the blankets. “I wasn’t the one holding the gun, or even there when it happened, but I think your hesitation was normal.”

“But it was Joker,” Jason scoffs, squeezing Tim’s hand back. “It wasn’t like it was some random person I was trying to shoot. He’s pure evil.”

“It doesn’t matter, killing someone should be hard for you and besides, now he can rot in prison, spending the rest of his days knowing that you managed to get him caught again.”

“I guess,” Jason’s mouth twitches in the ghost of a smile. “At least I got a few good hits on him after he came at me, until he pulled out the taser like a coward. B was the one that really got him though,” Jason laughs. “I’ve never seen him that angry before.”

“That reminds me,” Tim says slowly, watching as Jason’s face takes on the deer in headlights look. “You could have told me Bruce Wayne was the one that adopted you.” 

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Jason winces. “I don’t usually tell people about that right away because people tend to act differently when they realize your daddy is rich.” Tim nods, understanding that all too well. “By the time I knew you weren’t like that, you had already told me about your first encounter with him and I didn’t want to scare you off since I thought you were cute.”

Jason chuckles along with Tim before continuing. “And after that, I don’t know. I just felt like things would change somehow if you knew. I was planning on telling you at sometime soon though, I swear. And Dick-”

“I already knew you two were brothers.” Tim shrugs at Jason’s incredulous look. “You two didn’t hide it very well. He’s engaged to Dr. B too right? I figured it was because you guys all shared patients or something like that.” 

“Yeah we didn’t think the kids would appreciate it very much if they thought we were all talking about them at family gatherings.” 

“Makes sense.” Tim shrugs. He knows he could have figured all of this out, even the part where Bruce adopted Jason with a few quick Google searches, but he didn’t want to invade Jason’s privacy. “There was a boy there too, was that…” Tim searches his memory. “I think Dick called him Dami?”

“Oh yeah, he’s Bruce’s only genetic kid, that he knows about anyway, and the brat never lets us forget it either.” Jason rolls his eyes. “He actually wasn’t supposed to be there, but I guess he hid in the back of the car until after Dick and Bruce went inside, wanted to be a part of the rescue team.” 

“Your family is nuts.” Is all Tim can think of to say to that. Jason throws his head back, laughing hard like it was forced out of him. Tim can’t laugh with him right now, probably won’t be able to for a while. Instead he smiles as he watches the curve of Jason’s lips and the way his cheeks grow red, filled with a sudden rush of gratitude that they’re both alive.

Jason eventually calms down enough to notice Tim’s staring, expression sobering into something softer as he looks back at him. 

“I’m really glad you’re okay.” He says. “I mean, I just love you so much and I was so freaking scared that you- Woah!” He’s cut off from whatever he was about to say when Tim tackles him to lay on his back, crawling over him. 

“You love me?” Tim grins as Jason’s eyes widen in realization.

“Well duh, I did rush straight into danger to save your life, so it shouldn’t be breaking news or anything.” His cocky words would have fooled Tim if not for the way his pulse was rapidly beating in his throat. Tim decides to take mercy on him before he spontaneously combusts.

“I love you too, which also shouldn’t be breaking news or anything.” He mocks, doing a ridiculous impression of Jason’s deeper voice. He giggles when Jason runs his fingers up his sides in retaliation. 

“You never did tell me why you came over.” Tim realizes later, curled up against Jason’s back, his fingers tracing gentle patterns in the skin under Jason’s belly button. 

“I couldn’t sleep, even though I was exhausted.” Jason sighs. “I think because we didn’t have much time to talk after...everything. What with the police, then the hospital, and then our families. I just, needed to be near you.” The last of his words are slow and mumbled. 

“Well I’m glad you’re here.” He kisses Jason’s shoulder, grinning when the only response he gets is the beginning of deep, even breaths as Jason falls asleep.

Tim doesn’t sleep that night, every time he closes his eyes his mind shoots vivid images of the body laying next to him belonging to the Joker. Instead he plays his puzzle game on his phone, finally beating level two-hundred, before he has to put it away when his eyes dry out.

He’s there each time Jason wakes up gasping and shaking from a nightmare, running a hand through his hair and whispering soothing words until Jason calms back down. And, when the sun starts to rise and the bags under Jason’s eyes seem significantly lighter, Tim decides his lack of rest was worth it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go! And then, I'm thinking about doing an epilogue about five years into the future, just a short little chapter letting you know how JayTim are doing in the future. But goodness, it's crazy to feel this close to the finish line after over six months of working on this xD Let me know what you guys think about me doing an epilogue after the next chapter!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felt so weird marking this as completed just now :') Don't worry though, I'm still going to add the epilogue soon which I'm still thinking will be about five years in the future. If you have any questions about this au let me know in the comments, I was going to make a list of little facts about the characters, mainly Jason, that I didn't get to in the main story and put it in the end notes of the epilogue. Also! If you know of any works inspired by this let me know, I want to put them in the beginning notes of the epilogue :)
> 
> Anyway, I just wanted to say THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! All of your sweet comments have been such a blessing to read, and a huge inspiration for my writing. You all really helped keep me going even when I wasn't feeling very great about certain chapters so thank you again for that :D 
> 
> And now on with this chappie! It's a little cheesy, but in a good way I think :)

There’s a surprisingly bittersweet feeling welling up inside him as Tim takes his regular seat on the last day of Dr. B’s group sessions. He remembers the absolute dread he felt walking in this very room back in January, how it had morphed into a more content feeling once he was used to the routine of things. Once he began considering Bart and Conner as friends, once he accepted that Dr. B genuinely cared for each and every one of them, once he realized his crush on Jason.   

Tim is one of the few that stayed in the very same seat that he started with. Bart and Conner sit on either side of him now, while Raven and Garfield sit practically in each others laps across the room. Jaime has moved to sit next to Bart, which surprises no one. Dr. B is in her usual place, at the very center of the semi-circle, with Jason and Kori on either side of her. Roy sits next to Kori, today with Lian in his lap, who is focused intently on braiding a strand of his hair. Ava sets at Jason’s feet, tail thumping lazily as she looks around the room.

“Well we all made it to the last day of class,” Dr. B begins once everyone has taken their seats. “And I’m extremely happy to see that we have the same number now as when we started. We don’t have much on the lesson plan today, but I do have a few questions for you before we move on.”

“How many of you are happy that our meetings are over?” A few people raise their hands.   
  


“And how many of you are sad?” This time most of the class raises their hand, Tim included. Everyone seems surprised when Rose almost reluctantly raises her hand at the very last second.

“What?” She asks sharply, glaring at everyone in the room. Dr. B laughs quietly into her hand before continuing. 

“And most importantly, how many of you feel like you’ve learned something during your time here?” This time everyone raises their hand, and Dr. B smiles warmly at all of them. 

Dr. B then goes around the room and asks everyone what it is that they learned. He’s reminded again of how much has changed since the first meeting when he becomes aware of the lack of nervousness that he feels as he waits for his turn. It could just be from the fact that he’s used to being around everyone here by now, or maybe speaking in front of a group seems like a relatively small challenge compared to everything else.

It’s been a little under a month since Joker and Harley were sent back to Arkham, hopefully for good this time. Things were still strained with his parents, but Tim prefers that to the false sense of family they were trying to hold onto before. He avoids them as a much as possible, using the free time he has at home to teach himself whatever he can about editing and building his photography folder, then spends most nights at either the Wayne Manor or Stephanie’s. 

He watches Dr. B’s face well up with various levels of pride and happiness depending on the answers each of her students give. She positively beams when Raven mentions that she’s started using other, more healthy outlets for her anger besides self harm. 

When it’s Tim’s turn to speak, he doesn’t speak as long as some of the others, but he means every word he says. He’ll forever be grateful for everything Dr. B, Dick, and Jason have done for him during his time with the program. He maintains eye contact with Dr. B while he talks, exchanging smiles with her before she moves on to listen to Bart’s answer. 

Afterword, instead splitting off into their groups, Dr. B surprises them with a pizza party, allowing them just hang out and talk. Tim spends most of his time chatting with Bart and Conner in their usual corner of the room. But, then Bart has to run to the restroom at the exact same time Jaime leaves to get some air. Conner leaves shortly after that, muttering something about needing to go check on Bart’s virtue, shaking his head when Tim starts to laugh.

He searches the room, easily spotting Jason in the center of the room, smirking at something  Kori whispers in his ear as they watch Roy try to untangle the mess of knots Lian put in his hair. He starts to make his way over to them, but is stopped when he hears Dr. B speak from behind him.

“Hey, Tim.” Tim turns to see Dr. B sitting at one of the tables by herself. Her pizza slice is pushed aside and ignored for a small stack of papers in front of her. 

“Hey Dr. B,” He says moving to the chair across from her. “What are you doing?”

“Just finishing up the case files for everyone in the group.” She gives him a wry smile. “It seems half my job consists of paperwork.” 

“Case files?”  
  
  


“I have to keep profiles for each of my kids documenting any progress or lack thereof they made during their sessions with me.” She considers him a moment over her glasses before she speaks again. “Do you want to see yours?”

“I’m allowed?” 

“Why wouldn’t you be?” She asks, shuffling through the papers until she finds the small packet she’s looking for, handing it over to him. 

He hesitates,  nervous for a reason he can’t explain, and takes a deep breath before he starts to read. 

It’s odd, seeing such a large dilemma in his life condensed to a few paragraphs of Dr. B’s elegant cursive script. Her notes are short but thorough, surprising Tim with how accurate they are about his personality, even though he hadn’t felt like he opened up to her as much as he should have. He frowns when he reads her notes on the conclusion of his treatment.

“What is it?” Dr. B asks softly. Tim blinks, looking up at her. He hadn’t realized she was watching his expression so closely.

“I just-” He pauses, trying to think of a way to word his question without coming across as rude before remembering who it is he’s talking to. “You think I’m at a stronger mental state now than I was back in January?” 

“Of course.” She answers immediately. “Don’t you?”

He thinks about his lack of sleep most nights, and shortness of breath he experiences whenever he’s reminded of Joker. “Uh...probably not.”

“Okay,” She agrees easily. “Well what if I told you that I think you should look closer at my wording of the last sentence. You notice I used the word stronger instead of, let’s say, stabilized. I said I felt like you were stronger, not that you were cured. Your anxiety isn’t something that’s just going to go away, as unfortunate as that is. I just wanted you to learn how to cope with it better, so that it doesn’t affect the way you live your life anymore. I wanted you to be able to handle situations that might be triggering to you.”

Tim stares at her, uncomprehending for a moment until it clicks. He thinks about how he’s handled the stress that came during and after he was kidnapped. How he remembered to steady his breathing when his chest was feeling too tight, how he wasn’t afraid to go to Jason or talk to his friends when he became overwhelmed. 

“So what do you think, Tim?” She asks. “Do you think you’re stronger now?”

“Yeah,” Tim says after a pause. “Yeah, I think so.”

********

Dick takes him to Gotham City Zoo instead of having their last session together in his office. It’s a nice change, being able to hang out with Dick in a not as formal setting. Even after he started trusting Dick enough to open up to, he still felt emotionally exhausted and picked apart every Wednesday evening. He appreciated all of Dick’s help as a social worker, but felt more at ease around Dick’s more unprofessional side. Especially after he hears Dick squeal when they see an elephant calf playing with it’s mom. 

“Jason tells me you got into Gotham U,” Dick mentions after he buys them both Dippin’ Dots and they take a seat on a bench in the shade. He has a playful smirk on his face that makes Tim flush, remembering their first conversation about colleges. 

“Yeah, they have some photography classes that looked interesting and I figured it’d be helpful to take some business classes too.” Tim shrugs. 

“That’s great,” He smiles. “You know I think I have some old shirts with the school colors from back when I went. I’ll dig them out of storage so you and Jay can match each other and the school at the same time!” 

Tim chooses to take a bite out of his ice cream instead of responding, hoping Dick forgets about his offer by the time school starts. Dick thankfully lets it go, allowing them to sit in comfortable silence while they finish off their ice cream. A thought appears in Tim’s mind, just as he notices Dick looking around them for a trash can to put their cups in.

“Hey umm,” Dick’s sudden attention on him makes him nervous for what he’s about to say, so he rushes to get it over with. “I just wanted to say thank you _. _ ”

“For the ice-cream?” Dick laughs. “You already told me when I bought it, Tim.”

“No, not the-” Tim sighs, frowning down at his lap instead of looking at Dick. “I meant for taking on my case. For helping me with everything even when I was being an ungrateful brat about it. I just...I honestly don’t know where I’d be right now if you hadn’t taking the time to see me that day in the hospital. So. Thanks.” He finishes lamely. 

The sudden silence following his statement is enough to make him brave enough look back up. And instantly regret it. Dick’s eyes are wide, brimming with tears and his face has gone cherry red. 

“Dick? Did I-” He squeaks when Dick nearly launches himself across the across the table, pulling Tim into a rib crushing hug with a shout of, “ _ Timmy! _ ”

*****

Every Friday evening at half past seven, Tim visits the Wayne manor to have dinner with Jason’s family. It’s a tradition that Dick had started when he was only ten years old. After he quickly grew tired of Bruce staying late at the office and missing dinner with him and Alfred, he made it a rule that Friday night dinner was something that wasn’t to be skipped unless it was a life or death situation. And, even though the Wayne family was a bit larger now, the tradition had continued since.

Tim’s surprised at first by how seriously they all take their Friday night dinners. Everyone always shows up, even the night when Dick has a work emergency and they don’t sit at the table until after ten. But, he quickly notices how much they enjoy each other’s company. Even when Jason and Dick are arguing, which they do often, he can tell they’re having a good time. 

“I was thinking we should have a movie night,” Bruce says, in a brief and rare moment of pause between the many conversations that go on during their dinners. “We could watch one of those star battle movies you all like so much.”

“Star Wars,” Dick and Jason groan unanimously. Tim catches Bruce’s eye and, upon noticing the mischievous twinkle in them, has to bite his lip to keep from smiling. 

“No,” Damian speaks up, causing Bruce to raise an eyebrow. “Drake over here promised a rematch in Chess since he cheated last time.” 

“I did not, you just underestimated your opponent.” Tim flicks a pea over at him after checking to make sure Alfred isn’t watching. He hears Jason snickering beside him. 

They decide to compromise, bringing the Chess table into theatre so Tim and Damian can play each other while watching the movie. Tim loses, unable to focus on the game with one of his favorite movies playing, and Damian gloats the rest of the night. 

Later, Tim is laying in bed in the ridiculously large guest room that Alfred keeps set up for him, when he hears the door slowly creak open. He’s on his side, back to the door, but is too comfortable to turn over, even when he hears someone trying, and failing, to sneak across the room quietly. 

“You’re not supposed to be in here,” He whispers when the bed starts to dip and the covers shift. 

“Why not?” Jason speaks in a normal voice, sounding too loud in the quiet bedroom. He seems undisturbed by Tim’s refusal face him, sliding next to Tim until they’re lined up chest to back. 

“Alfred yelled at you the last time he caught you in here.” Tim shivers when Jason’s breath brushes across his neck as he laughs. 

“I’ll get up before he wakes up and go back to my room.” Jason shrugs. “Besides, you sleep better when I’m here.”

Tim rolls his eyes, too tired to mention that Jason is the one that started coming to him to get to sleep. “I don’t want to make Alfred mad at me. He’ll stop giving me bigger portions than you at dinner.” He smirks.

“He only does that because you’re too damn skinny, and he won’t get mad at you, he likes you. Everyone in my family likes you.” 

“I like them too,” He says honestly, warmth spreading across his cheeks. “Even Damian.” 

“Yeah, he grows on you.” Jason laughs. “But seriously, if you really don’t want me here I can leave.” 

The uncertainty in Jason’s voice makes Tim roll over to face him, taking in his messy curls and tired eyes. He must have tried to fall asleep on his own before coming to Tim. 

“I want you here.” He says honestly. 

“Good,” Jason smirks. “Hey did you know that today has officially been six months since I punched you in the face?”

“What?” Tim frowns. “You were keeping track?” 

“Well I mean it was the same day we started group.” Jason shrugs.

“Oh yeah,” Tim agrees. “If someone told you then that you’d be snuggling with that very same guy what you do?”

“Probably punch them too for being an idiot-Shh!” He covers Tim’s mouth with his hand when he let’s loose a loud peal of laughter. “Why is that so funny?”

Tim taps Jason’s wrist to get him to move his hand. “Just imagining the moment when someone asks us how we met and I get to tell them about you punching me for no reason.”

Jason maintains an unamused expression on his face for all of two seconds before laughing along with Tim. They’re being too loud, and Tim is almost sure Alfred can hear them from next floor up and will have some words for them come morning, but he can’t find it in himself to care right now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I hope you all enjoyed this story as much as I did writing it! Also my DCU Bang project(It's another JayTim au...a bit darker than this one) I worked on with the amazing Tanekore will be out next Friday, so be sure to check that out and TK's incredible artwork for it! :D


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at the very last update to this story, almost a year after I started it! I have to admit, one of the reasons it took me so long to post this was because I was a little sad for it to be over. But I also feel accomplished to have finished a project as long and meaningful as this one was :)
> 
> Also while I was writing this, a couple people told me I inspired them to write some stuff, so if you did post something and want me to attach a link to your works here just let me know! 
> 
> And I know I said my thank yous in the last chapter but I wanted to say again that you all were awesome and I hope you enjoy the future projects I have planned as much as this one! 
> 
> Anyway here’s the epilogue! It doesn’t really add anything at all to the overall plot and it’s a little shorter than most chapters, but I figured with everything these boys have been through they just deserve some domestic fluff :D

**Five Years Later**

Jason snores when he sleeps. It's a fact Tim has known for a long time, yet somehow never gets any less endearing to hear whenever he wakes up before Jason. 

He has scruff along his chin and cheeks, a shadow that appears even before dinner time and makes shaving a necessary part of his morning routine. On days where Jason is the first to wake up, Tim has woken up to the wonderfully rough scratch of Jason’s stubble on his face, neck, and sometimes even on his thighs. 

His lips are always chapped in the mornings, and his voice is rough and quiet, making his first words of the day uniquely sweet. He’s perfect, even at his most vulnerable.

Although Tim is tempted to start their day off similar to the memories he’s thinking of, he forces himself to slide out of bed quietly. He’s relieved when Jason’s soft snores still continue even after the creaking of their floorboards as Tim leaves the room.

Their house is old, makes noises in the night that Jason says gives the house personality, even though it still creeps Tim out sometimes. They’ve only been living here a few months, so Tim hopes he’ll get to used to it soon. He already loves everything else about it.

They had mainly been looking for something outside the city when they decided to move from their small apartment earlier in the year. It had taken several months to find something that they both liked and fit their financial budget but, just when they were about to give up the search, they found a for sale sign in front of this property on their way home from a date. 

It sat on top of a small hill, with a large yard perfect for Ava, who Jason wanted to take from the manor as soon as they had a large enough place for her. Inside was two stories plus the attic. Three bedrooms and two baths were on the second floor, with the living room, dining room, kitchen, study, and a half bath on the first. 

It had belonged to a kind, elderly woman whose husband had recently passed. She was planning to move south to stay with her daughter from now on. She had liked them instantly- well she liked Tim, but she adored Jason. Jason still speaks to her on the phone every Sunday, and they have plans to visit her in the spring. 

There was a lot of work that needed to be done when they first moved in, because of its age, but the foundation was good and they received plenty of help from family and friends. Even Steph and Cass came to help paint in their spare time from teaching dance and gymnastics to kids at their new studio. 

By now most of the repairs and upgrades were done and, along with the furniture they either received as gifts or bought at thrift stores, it was finally starting to feel like home.

As he makes his way down the hall, the kids come out of their room to greet him. Ava is in the lead, enthusiastic as always even though she’s starting to get strands of grey in her fur. Frolicking after her comes Vinci, a badly scarred white pit that Damien and Tim had found dying on the streets last month on their way home from dinner with the Kents. He still got nervous if they moved too fast around him, but he seemed to know that Jason and Tim were different than his previous owners.

Trailing after them at a leisurely pace are their cats Binx, a black tabby and Salem, a calico. They were just kittens when Jason and Tim found them hiding in their apartment buildings dumpster a year ago, malnourished and cold. It had been near Halloween, hence the names.

He lets the dogs outside and fills each of their individual food bowls before heading to the kitchen to get started on Jason’s breakfast. Cooking is not usually something he does on his own, in fact, after multiple catastrophes during their first year living together, Jason had banned him from using the stove without supervision. But today was an exception. 

Today would turn out to be an extremely important day for Jason’s future and Tim wants to make sure it starts off perfect. That means he has to make Jason’s favorite breakfast, banana and blueberry pancakes. It shouldn’t be too hard...he hopes.

“You gotta grease the pan first.” Tim jumps at the sudden sound of Jason’s voice followed by arms wrapping around his waist.

“You're not supposed to be awake yet,” Tim sighs, leaning back against Jason’s chest. 

“And you’re not supposed to be within five feet of the stove.” 

“I was trying to make you good luck pancakes,” Tim says, resigned as Jason moves to take over the cooking. He expects Jason to give a cocky comment about how he doesn’t need luck, but all he does is let a weak laugh in response. When Tim looks over at him, his heart aches at seeing Jason’s face pale and dark circles under eyes that are filled with self doubt that Jason  _ doesn’t deserve _ .

“You’re going to ace this test Jay,” Tim says, deciding he can be confident enough in Jason for the both of them. “You had the highest grades in your class and you’ve been studying non stop since graduation. And then you’re going to accept that position at Gotham Academy, where you’ll be the coolest English teacher those kids have ever seen.”

Jason doesn’t reply at first, intently focused on shaping the pancake into the perfect circle, but eventually says, “I don’t think I could ever beat Miss Zatara. She used to do magic tricks when everyone got a B or higher on exams.” 

It’s not exactly a vote of self confidence, but his eyes are bright and he has some color to his face now, so Tim’s counting it as a win.

***

Later, Tim waits until the roaring of Jason’s motorcycle engine has faded before sending out a group text to nearly everyone him and Jason are close with. He has a surprise party to set up after all, and only a couple hours left to do it.

Bart and Jaime are the first to arrive, bringing with them the decorations and not wasting any time before running around the house setting up banners. They both have a deep tan that wasn’t there the last time Tim saw them. He supposes they must have gotten a decent amount of sun while they were away in Africa, studying a nearly extinct species of beetle for Jaime’s work.

Alfred, Bruce, and Selina arrive together in a limo. It takes two trips to bring in the presents they brought with them. Bruce always went a little overboard when it came to getting his kids stuff, even more so now that Selina was around to encourage him to spoil them. 

Selina and Bruce met less than a year ago and were already married. No one judged the short engagement though, you could tell looking at both of them that they were crazy about each other. 

Conner shows up shortly after them, with Jon and Damian in the back of his pickup. He’s scowling even as he pulls Tim into a hug. Damian and Jon’s bickering must have been tiring to listen to, especially with the long drive they had from the Kent farm. Tim decides it’s best if he doesn’t mention that he thinks it might be their version of flirting.

Dick and Barbara bring five boxes of pizza and Robin, their two year old daughter, with them. She makes a beeline for the dogs and asks when Jason is going to come home every few minutes. She’s somewhat distracted when Lian, her second favorite person, arrives with Roy and Kori. The two girls run to the backyard to play tag while Tim, Roy, and Kori carry in several containers of sweets from their bakery. 

Finally, once Cass and Stephanie get there with the drinks, everything is set up for the party. It takes hardly any time at all, with the amount of people helping out, and then all there is to do is wait. 

***

He’s lingering on the outskirts of the crowd, starting to feel drained and wanting to conserve his energy, when he catches sight of Damian sitting on the stairs, petting Binx and frowning at the crowd of people in Tim’s dining room. 

“Everything okay?” Tim asks, moving to sit a few steps down from him. Binx blinks up at him lazily from his spot on Damian’s lap, swishing his tail at the sound of Tim’s voice.

“Should be asking you that,” Damian raises a brow at him. “You’ve been extra annoying the whole time you’ve been trying to plan this.”

It’s a deflection, an obvious one at that, but Tim lets him get away with it. If Damian didn’t want to talk about whatever was bothering him, then Tim wasn’t going to force him.

“I just needed to make sure everything was perfect,” Tim shrugs sheepishly. “It’s a big day for him after all.”

“And what if he doesn’t pass?”

“He’ll pass,” Tim frowns at him for even suggesting such a thing.  

“I know that. I was just making sure you did,” Damian smirks. “You did a decent job putting all of this together. I approve.” 

“Ah yes, your approval,” Tim rolls his eyes playfully. “All I’ve ever wanted.”

Damian starts to say something, but then the sound of a motorcycle engine coming from the road outside the house interrupts them, and everyone has to scramble to their places.

***

“You weren’t surprised were you?” 

Tim had waited until they were as secluded as they could be with a house full of people before confronting Jason. They’re out of earshot of everyone at least, he thinks.

Jason’s eyes widen guiltily, and he takes his time chewing his bite of pizza before he responds to Tim’s question. “Not really. I could tell you were nervous about something all week.” He shrugs. “At first I thought it was sympathy nerves over my test, but you always seemed so sure I’d pass.”

“And you did.” Tim nods approvingly at the framed test results hanging above their living room fireplace. “I’m sorry I ruined it for you though,” he adds with a wince.

“You didn’t ruin anything. It was kinda cute,” Jason grins. “Watching you try to be secretive. I would have messed with you somehow if I wasn’t too busy worrying about this stupid licensing exam.”

Tim rolls his eyes, crossing his arms and trying to look put out. He’s pretty sure the small smile on his face gives him away though. 

“But really, thank you,” Jason says once he’s done chuckling at Tim’s false anger. “It was a really nice thing to come home to.”

“Your welcome.” Tim says, leaning up on his tiptoes to kiss the corner of Jason’s mouth. “I love you, and I’m really happy for you.”

“I’m happy for me too,” Jason grins sincerely. “And I love you. Now let’s get back to the party before Dick eats all the cupcakes.”

Tim lets Jason walk ahead of him, brushing his hand against the lump of the small box in his right pocket. The one that’s holding a piece of jewelry perfectly fit to go around Jason’s left ring finger. 

He has one more chance to try to surprise Jason today, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I hope you all enjoyed it! Here’s some little facts I don’t think ever got around to including in the story:
> 
> *Jason is older than Tim but in the same grade because he got held back due to his lack of education when he was a child.  
> *Conner was adopted by Lex as a baby and sent into the program because Lex wanted some dirt on one of Bruce’s foundations. Kon doesn’t cooperate after he sees how much help this can be for troubled youths. He finds his real parents in the time period between the last chap and epilogue.  
> *Raven’s dad was abusing her, eventually Gar convinced her to turn him in. She’s a tattoo artist now and Gar has his own animal clinic.  
> *Dick was still raised in the circus in this verse, and parents did die in an accident. Which is why the name Robin is still important to him.  
> *Holly and Rose get out of the life of petty crime, Terra doesn’t.  
> *Joker escaped a couple years after his arrest, killed multiple people on his way out. He’s back in custody and on death row now.  
> *Harley is slowly recovering.  
> *The letter Tim writes in chapter nine is to himself.  
> *Tim doesn’t talk to his parents anymore(who are now divorced), he still keeps in contact with Amelia regularly though.  
> *Jason took Tim to his mom’s grave only once. There he admitted that he both loved and hated her, and that he wasn’t quite sure how to handle it.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and let me know what you think! Here’s my tumblr if you’re interested. I take prompt requests and post previews of the fics I’m writing on a regular basis: [glaciya.](http://glaciya.tumblr.com/)


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